or 26 weeks or 6 months…however you want to look at it, it is still a long time to wait.  That is how long we have been waiting for the referral of our baby girl.  I am starting to get anxious and nervous and excited and a little neurotic about this whole waiting thing.  I imagine this must be what the last month of pregnancy is like–without the swollen ankles and the inablility to consume huge amount of wine at the holidays or any random afternoon…

The end of this waiting period is hard.  At this point it is very likely that our little girl has been brought into this world by a courageous and generous woman who knows she cannot take care of this baby who she loves and has loved for 9 months and has nutured to the best of her ability.  This is the hardest thing for me to reconcile.  I want to start loving her (and I already have in the abstract) and want her to know she has another family who longs to love, hold, and nuture her.  The waiting is so hard. 

I have the holidays to distract me, but that isn’t really a good thing as I have been distracting myself by Christmas shopping and have totally spoiled both my son and my husband this holiday season.  Oh, well.  It is just money right? 

Our wait is looking to be at least another month but the end is in sight.  Wait let me rephrase that–the beginning is just around the corner.