I feel like I am barely holding my head above water.  I am so busy.  I know stop whining, everyone is busy.  Just the same, this is a different type of busy for me.  My new job is keeping me very busy and the the semester just started and I’m teaching 2 classes–I know, what the hell was I thinking?

I have been traveling a lot for work–it is usually just an overnight trip–but that is still a lot when you have little ones who you usually put to bed and a husband you feel like you never see.  I know its a phase and that things will settle down.  I’ll find a rhythm.  My family will find a rhythm.  We will survive this.  But I am tired.  I am completely unable to relax because the deadlines are pressing.  I joke about my todo list at work and how it is horizontal and everything is a top priority.  I knew when I accepted this job that it would be overwhelming in the beginning.

I just feel like I can’t catch up.  I haven’t been able to find time to work-out, which sucks since my job requires a lot of sitting on my ass staring at my computer.  But, I am lucky.  My husband is amazing and has taken over so many of the things I use to do with ease.  The house might be a little messier and the dishes don’t get done as much, but I can’t complain when I am gone many nights during the week during those hours when I could/should be hanging with my family and my kids.

I haven’t been able to find the balance that I want/need.  I am looking for it, and trying to make all the moments I have with the kids matter.  I am trying not to feel guilty that I am gone so much.

I am trying to keep my head above water.  The kids laughter and smiles help with that.  My husband’s support helps with that.