Adjustment

One Month Down–215 To Go

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 12 Comments

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Peepers has been my second child–in real life–for one month now (A little longer if you count our time in Ethiopia).  But I am starting to count since we have been here at home with my first child–Minnow. 

I am not going to lie and say how awesome it’s been and how great.  Because quite frankly adjusting to a second child has sucked.  Not only because she doesn’t sleep, but because she is very demanding–part of that has to do with her age–she is nearly 9months old now and wants things.  She isn’t content to just hang out.  She needs things to do and it’s hard to provide both her and Minnow with age appropriate things to do–so often I let her drink (pour) my coffee and pick up hubby’s cigarette butts.  I have struggled with finding time for myself as their nap schedule resembles torture—Peepers sleeps and Minnow naps after she wakes.  Peepers naps again and Minnow wakes up 30 minutes later. 

I have gone from having 3 hours to myself to regenerate and pretend I don’t have any one other than myself demanding my time to having only 30 which serves as a stark reminder that my life is no longer my own–at all. 

But there are upsides to having a new baby–I am totally in love with her. She is happy and has a great personality.  She doesn’t cry unless she is hungry and/or tired.  She is growing and now sleeps in her own bed and is sleeping longer and I can see glimpses of more sleep in my future.  The love is amazing and seeing her every morning is awesome and watching her learn new things, etc., just plain rocks. 

I am happy and blessed to be her mother–we’ll see how she feels about that later.  But it’s tough and I am not afraid to admit it.  I know that doesn’t make me a bad mother; it just makes me a real and honest woman who is also a mother. 

So, what do you struggle with and what gets you through? 

The Long Haul

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 10 Comments

Things are most defintely NOT getting better in terms of us or Peepers sleeping.  We do the separate bed thing once a week each but it is still very very exhausting and emotionally taxing.  Especially for me.  When I’m tired the emotional strain is at it’s worst.  That is when I sometimes just have to walk away.  I have a hard time dealing with the crying.  I feel like a failure because sometimes I am just unable to soothe and calm her.  I know it’s only been a few weeks since she and I have been physically mother and daughter, but it is hard because for so long I have been attached to her and it will take time for her to get attached to me.  She knows I am her mom and she looks for me if I move, etc.  But I have to try and understand the great amount of change this little person has had in the short 8 months of her life.  And, I have to accept that she just might never be a good sleeper.  (I can’t think about that yet). 

Because I seem to have a memory loss of anything not sunshine and roses from when Minnow was just home, I went back and re-read many of the entries I wrote in his first few months home.  I was delirously tired well into december (four months after he had come home).  I can note that he slept a little better but was still getting up 3 times a night and waking up early everyday for quite some time.  It is just harder now because I have an ACTIVE toddler and am two years older than I was last time.  I am muddling through and Hubby is much more patient with the crying and knows when I am on the edge and he steps in and takes her so that my frazzled nerves can settle down.  I don’t expect to be getting more or better sleep anytime soon.  When in doubt lower your expectations and survive. 

But boy she sure is cute. 

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Separate Beds

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 7 Comments

As many of you know, the past couple of weeks have been short on sleep at this house.  It really sucks when neither mom or dad are getting sleep–makes for a tense and snarky marriage.  This past week, I made hubby sleep in the extra room so that he could get some sleep–as Peepers is still sleeping in our bed (which might be short lived as I have unlocked the secret to getting her to sleep and keeping her asleep–more on this later as to not jinx my awesomeness).  He woke up refreshed and much happier.  Last night I was given the same pleasure of sleeping in the extra room, while hubby was on baby duty.  I have to say it was awesome and I cannot believe that we didn’t think to do it earlier.  It is amazing what one good night of sleep can do for you. 

I am glad that separate beds are not in our future, but in the present they are helping us survive and still love each other and our children. 

How did you make it through the beginning with a new baby. 

Good-Bye Glory Days

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

For the first time since Minnow has been home (nearly 2 years) he did not transition from asleep in the car to asleep in his crib.  I have spent the past 2 hours trying to get him to go back to sleep.  We are now playing trains and he is showing no signs of being tired.  UGH!!!  He has also completely regressed in terms of using his pacifier.  He has to have it all the time.  Before Peepers came home it was limited to use during sleep.  I knew this could happen, but I am so frustrated by it as I want him to be off of the pacifier all together.  UGH!

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On a brighter note Peepers is up to 14.2lbs up from 12.5lbs last week.  She is eating non-stop as well as pooping non-stop.  I must changed 4 poop diapers a day.  Minnow’s colon was never that active.  She is sleeping a little better–in longer segments and I am feeling much more rested.  I am still a little on edge and quick to irritation and anger, but I am getting it all a little more under control.  

One Week Down

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 6 Comments

approximately 936 until Peepers joins Minnow away at college.  Okay.  I’m not really counting down as that would be depressing. 

Well, we have been home for a week now and I am just as exhausted as I was the day I arrived home.  It is a different tired, but the depth of the tiredness is the same.  I know the tiredness will fade in a month or two or ten, but for now I am just trying to deal with it.  I am not doing it as gracefully as I could but that is okay.  We are all still alive and that is what really matters. 

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Minnow is adjusting better than I could have every imagined.  He has not shown any signs of jealousy at all.  He is patient and sweet.  Peepers is the first person he asks about everyday when he wakes up.  It is cute. I am sure that they are going to be buds once Peepers gets a little bit older.  He held her for the first time this week–I am not sure you can call it holding but she sat in his lap and they played.  It was so very cute.  Peepers is getting so much stronger.  She is sitting up and doing great–she of course tips over easily but that is due to the fact that her head is huge and her body has not quite caught up yet. 

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Today is a special day–Hubby’s birthday.  We laid low today–Hubby played golf with his friends from work and I took care of the kiddos. This was the first day that I had the kids by myself all day.  I have to admit it wasn’t too bad–exhausting but manageable.  Yesterday we went to my dads to celebrate Hubby’s birthday and the fourth.  We did a few toddler friendly fireworks–snakes and smoke bombs.  Minnow had a blast as did Peepers.  We sang happy birthday and had a great time. 

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