Adoption

Might This Week Be THE Week?

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 9 Comments

I know it is futile to try and predict this whole adoption/waiting for a referral thing.  I have been here before and know it is totally unpredictable.  But I can’t help but think that this might be our week.  Just a feeling and my feelings are often wrong, but hey it doesn’t hurt to hope. 

I am getting ready for our Wannafest trip.  I am excited that we are leaving in 9 days.  How much fun it will be.  I know it would be so fun to have our referral by then to share and celebrate with the other families.  But if not, there will be much fun had by all that will effectively keep me from checking my email 1000 times a day–even hours before my agencies office opens.   It just gets harder…Soon. 

A Meeting Long In The Making

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 9 Comments

It has been called WANNAFEST 2008.  I think that name is perfect.  I may even have a t-shirt made.  Okay probably not but it is still an awesome event. There are a few of us who have been wanting to get together and meet for a very long time.  We met via our adoption agencies message board and got to know each other closely through our blogs and our adoptions that happened relatively at the same time.  MP loved on little Minnow for me when she went to Wanna to pick up her little Teeny.  I remember holding little Hayat and telling her that her mommy and daddy were coming soon.  She was such a sweet little baby and is now a sassy little toddler and still ever so sweet.  Our children have a shared beginning of life.  We as their parents have a shared beginning as their parents.  We are finally meeting up as families.  Our children will meet each other as toddlers, while they last saw each other as little infants. 

We are making a trek to San Diego in a few weeks (less than 3 to be exact).  I have to laugh because we have been talking about wanting to do this for over a year now and we finally decided to do this and planned it in two days…I think the cold has been a factor in our swift decision making.  It has been in the single digits and teens here and for MP it has been a hell of a lot colder.  I am a spontaneous traveller.  I don’t like long range planning and this trip is perfect. 

I am so excited to finally meet the women behind the blogs and the women who really helped me through the adoption wait for referral.  I am excited to meet their amazing children and to forge lasting bonds for our children.  I look forward to WANNAFEST every year. 

See you all soon. 

The Waiting Game

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 7 Comments

Sorry for my last criptic post.  I realize I haven’t written much about our current adoption.  During our first adoption nearly every post was about waiting and the torture that waiting inflicted on me and my sanity.  I haven’t written much about the waiting at all this time.  So, for those of you wondering we have officially been waiting for 7 months and 5 days or 31 weeks and 2 days for our referral of a baby girl.  I know that we are third on the list for a baby girl.  Knowing that really only makes it harder.  Because it really could happen any day (in theory).  In reality, I know it won’t happen this week, as our agencies director is out of town for the rest of the week and not back until Tuesay.  I also know that there are more babies to be referred in the coming weeks as the files of babies are completed.  This does not mean our referral in imminent as I have no idea about the gender numbers of the babies waiting. 

Waiting is hard and it gets harder the closer you get.  That certainly sucks as we are about as close as we can be without getting a referral and without being next.  I am hoping for a referral by the end of February–which would put me travelling sometime in June–possibly in May but most likely June.  I really want to know who our daughter is.  I am one of those people who find the wait after referral a little easier than the wait for a referral.  There is so much to do before she comes home–but I cannot begin to work on her room, etc until I know who she is. 

There has been much turmoil in the adoption world as of late.  If you are adopting from Ethiopia and are on the message boards you know what I am referring to.  Because of this, I am so very happy that we are working with the agency we are.  They are an amazing agency who are very aware of the ins and outs of the Ethiopian adoption process and they are very respected in Ethiopia for the work that they do.  I feel very lucky, even if my wait is longer than those with newer agencies, but that wait is worth it to know that my adoption agency is very much above reproach. 

I have decided how I am going to paint our daughter’s room and the bed linens that I am going to use.  But I can’t buy them or start to paint until I see her face.  Until I know her name.  Until I know how old she is, etc. 

In the meantime to pass the agonizing waiting game, I am of course keeping busy teaching and helping plan a meetup with some of Minnow”s Wanna-mates (kiddos who were at wanna at the same time that he was) and their mommies and daddies.  We are going to meet up in So Cal sometime soon.  It will be great to finally meet everyone IRL. 

Sorry for the long update.  But, yes I am still waiting.  But I am lucky to have my little Minnow to entertain me. 

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A Word Of Warning To Adoption Blogs For Ethiopia

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 12 Comments

Edited to add:  the fundraising was more offensive to the Ethiopian officials.  The family’s blog was turned in to the embassy by some vindictive person.  Oh the humanity.  I hope Karma bites that person in the ass hard…. 

There has been a new development concerning blogs/fundraising/photo posting in regards to Ethiopian Adoptions.  It is against Ethiopian policy/law to post pictures of orphans online.  That means until the child is officially yours (case has passed court) it is against the law to post photos of your children online–I posted pic of Minnow in 2006 before he was ours without incident and it wasn’t until the last 12 months or so that it has really become an issue.  I think that as Ethiopian adoption becomes more popular and Ethiopia as a country is trying to regulate adoption more it has become an issue and a life-changing issue for one particular family. 

I don’t know any details really except that there was a family using a newer agency who had photos of their referred children posted on their blog along with a place where they were fundraising.  This families blog was reported to the embassy in Addis.  The agency that this family is using received a phone call from an gentleman from the embassy and was told that this family would never be able to adopt from Ethiopia because they had broken the rules by posting a photo of an orphan.  The worker also seemed to believe that the family could not afford to raise a child if they had to raise money for the adoption so overtly.   The family had also done some writing on their blog about the sad life of Ethiopian orphans, etc. 

International adoption is a complex process and it is a privilege we are given to be able to add to our families through the benevolence of another nation.  It is our responsibility to respect the wishes and the culture of that country and to never forget that adoption is a privilege for us and not by any means a right.  I am sad for this family that their hope of adoption from Ethiopia has been squashed forever, but I am also scared that these types of things will keep happening and adoptions from Ethiopia will become more restrictive.  Ethiopians are a proud people who have allowed international adoption as they understand that they cannot for a variety of reasons care as a country for all of these children. 

If you have pictures of your referred children up on your blog–please take them down.  I know how much you want to share with the world–and by blogging you are sharing with the world even if you don’t realize it–but it puts all of our adoptions in jeopardy.  I can only imagine how hard it will be for me to not post pics when we get our referral but I will not.  Please respect the wishes of the country that is giving you their children.  It is the least we can do. 

A Little Random Info

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

Well first off let me say…why didn’t I think about totally playing dumb about getting the email homework?  Really?  There were only about 6 or so of us who prepared something official for the class while everyone else lied through their weasley little teeth about not getting the email…LIARS! 

I am not really happy with my self-portrait I created, but you know I had nothing at 2 pm yesterday and I had to have it done and be ready to leave my house by 4:45.  It is what it is and I think it give a quick snapshot into my life.  I certainly could have added in more pictures of Minnow.  I mean I now have over 5000 of them.  Yes you saw that right.  I also just got two new lenses for my camera so you know there will be more. 

I have deduced from my sharp detective skills that there are two families ahead of us waiting for a baby girl (there could be one more, but I don’t think so…Becky correct me if I am wrong).  That is so very exciting.  I keep thinking, if only I had gotten that paperwork done a little faster.  But it is only in jest, as I know that the child that was meant to be ours will be.  Minnow is a great testament to the power of fate. 

A commenter (Hiya Jess) asked a very good question about how I am going to lose this weight.  Well, I am doing it the old fashioned way.  I am watching what I eat and exercising.  I have tried lots of different diets, etc and have been successful in the short term.  I finally decided that I needed something long term and I needed something that worked for me.  As, I posted a while ago, I signed up at myfooddiary.com.  It rocks.  I put in my goal weight (140 lbs) and what I weigh now (a whole hell of a lot more than 140) and it calculates for you how many calories you can eat to lose 2lbs and 1.5lbs a week (this is customizable).  It calculates fat/carb/protein/fiber/sodium/calcium/vitA&C/and iron.  It is great.  I have PCOS and I really should (but don’t) watch my carb intake.  This really helps me see what I am eating, exactly.  I think weight watchers is a great program and I used it previously at one point, but I am not a program girl and I finally have to admit that programs like that don’t work for me. 

Oh and Minnow was up last night with a stomach bug.  I was puked on not once, not twice, not even three times–yes ladies and gentlemen I was graciously puked on 4 times in the span of two hours by my little baby who only wanted “mamammamaaa ” (yeah he really says it like this) to hold him.  He woke up feeling great today and didn’t stop eating all day.  He is a resilient little guy. 

Happy Wednesday!