Adoption

MECCA

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments


Okay, well maybe I am being overly dramatic…But it is the most amazing place ever. I am slightly emabarrassed to admit that I had never been inside of one until today. Sad I know, especially at age 34. But there it is. I thought I would bite the bullet and go and look around. Huge mistake. I spent nearly 2 hours looking at everything that the store had to offer. Oh wow! I am seriously introuble when we do get our referral. There will be not stopping me. It is hard to stop me now. I have tried to contain myself, but it is so hard. This is my first baby–as though I haven’t really said that enough.

Being in that store with all of the pretty things, made me realize that I really haven’t a clue about being a mother. I have spent a lot of time around babies, done lots of baby sitting, but I have absolutely no qualifications to be a mother–okay I am a woman I will give you that. I was looking at pack n’ plays and travel cribs. They say max weight is 30lbs. Well, when does a baby weigh that much? I am so naive and completely unprepared. I know that there are so many questions that it would take me all of the www free bandwidth to ask them all.

Liberation..

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments


How sweet it is. Today is Friday. Merelene doesn’t work on Fridays. I am free to ignore my email and don’t have to worry that I will miss the news. Of course I still will check my email 1000 times because I am addicted. I was tempted to leave my computer at home today and force myself to focus on grading my student essays. Yeah right. My computer has become part of my identity–how sad–and I am not sure that I could function without it sitting on my desk. It is my security blanket. Besides I may want to add more things to my slowly growing baby registry–that is almost a good as shopping for baby things–well better actually because it is things that other people will buy. What a nice idea.

BABY SHOWER!! I will get one. I don’t know what to think about that. I have been to so many. At least at this one I will spared the embarrassment of the “guess the belly size” game usually played with toilet paper or string. Who thought up that game and why did they think it was okay. It seems quite archaic and slightly mean. Oh well, what do I care, I am having a baby. I keep saying it with the hopes that it will really sink in.

Crap–I am having a baby. What do I really need? What is really a waste of money? What is the one thing I must have that I will most certainly forget? Hubby wants 4 diaper bags. He is a planner. He wants 4 that are always packed and ready to go and then he can work his way through the bags and refill them after they have been used. He thinks this is normal and not at all a little over the top. Oh I love him. He is going to be a great dad. He as been waiting a long time and as 40 looms on the horizon for him–2 months away–he is starting to nest too. What a great gift this will be for both of us…

To Nest or Not to Nest…

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

That is the question. Okay so that isn’t exactly what Shakespeare wrote, but I am an English teacher with and English degree and I truly think that is what he really meant.

It has begun. I have given myself over completely to my desire and need to prepare for my baby. I am assuming and preparing for a boy. We did not ask for a specific gender, but I need to guess gender, as I want to start acting like I am really pregnant. I am beginning to think that for sanity’s sake I should have specified gender, because then I would know…but I didn’t and I don’t so I am gambling. Maybe in doing this I will tempt fate. Hey I am all about tempting fate. I am a rebel–come and get me.

Unfortunately, our house is no where near ready for nesting. It is a remodeling mine field. I can barely walk from one room to the other without tripping over something. Yet I keep collecting the twigs that will make up my nest. I was bitten by the overwhelming desire to shop again today. I must… I need something to hold on to, even if it is only a three pack of the cutest little gender neutral large onesies. Or the crib set I bought with the cutest lion on it, or the soft as can be fleece blanket. I need something as I am surrounded by pregnant women. Both of my neighbors are pregnant, a fellow grad student friend is pregnant. They are all nesting and preparing and I want to build a nest too…

A familiar feeling…

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

I know that today will also not be the day. But I have this feeling…the best thing to liken it to is when you first meet the special someone and you are preparing for your first date. I have butterflies in my stomach and I can’t concentrate on anything else, but what that date will be like. This is how I felt when I met my husband–I felt this way instaneously and now I can’t kick the feeling. I know that soon, I will meet the next love of my life. I want it to be soon, so that I can concentrate on that at least.

This weekend I will stay busy as I grade 55 senior research papers by Monday–so they can know if they will be graduating. I also want to paint my kitchen so that we can hang the cabinets next weekend. My husband is leaving on a golf weekend so I will have the whole house to myself. It is nice to have alone time every now and again. I also plan a black ops trip to Babies R Us. I will try to contain myself, but the new love of my life needs lots of things.

Not My Day

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

I just really needed to write that there was no news today. I don’t really know that I was expecting it. I really thought that because I am preparing that it might actually come today. Oh if only the universe could be controlled by my neurotic notions that the world revolves around me.

Well, I will go to the gym and kick some butt…I still have a long way to go on my weight loss journey and I have been a little sidetracked with eating healthy and all. With all the work we have been doing at home the last thing I really wanted to do was cook there. So we have been eating out a lot and even though I have been making sensible choices, it hasn’t been great. Well I am determined to get back on track. I have lost 53lbs so far but I have about that many more that I want to lose.

Maybe tomorrow…