Adoption

Day by day…

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

That is really all I can do–make it day by day. Today is the 12th week mark in our referral wait. I would never have thought that it would take this long. I would have thought we would be getting ready to travel soon and now there is no promise of travel or a baby anywhere in sight. I want to contact the adoption agency and ask for a status report of what is happening, but I know nothing is happening, so what good would asking do?

Our new kitchen cabinets are arriving today and we are working hard on remodeling the house trying to stay busy. I am trying to figure out what I am going to do next this coming school year when I am not working. I am thinking about subbing until we travel. I could probably work every day and make a little money, which would be helpful. I just don’t know. I wish there was an end in sight.

Trying to hang on to my sanity

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

We are still patiently [ha ha] waiting for our referral. I am not dealing with the waiting very well. I am slowly starting to lose my mind. We are trying to keep busy, but it is nearly impossible to stay busy enough. I don’t understand how it can be so difficult to get the serum that is needed in Ethiopia to do the PCR/DNA HIV tests. It saddens me to know that our baby is alive and living without us somewhere. Getting older by the day while we wait here in the dark not knowing who our baby will be and when we get to meet him or her. I am starting to get a little anxious about what those first moments of motherhood are going to be like. I hope that I am not disappointed with what happens. I don’t expect our baby to adjust immediately but I am hopeful that the transition will be somewhat smooth. Maybe I am naive…

My husband and I are going to continue on our journey to have a biological child as well. Hopefully that will work out better than it has in the past. My heart aches to be a parent and I don’t know what I am going to do until I am a parent.

On another subject. My baby brother, Jeff, is nearly a day into his adventure up Mount Everest. I can’t believe he is insane enough to take on such a task. He is at a turning point in his life and is searching for something. I hope he can find it on his journey to the top of the world. He is a wonderful man who needs to find his place in the world and the truth that lies in his heart.

Why Me???

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment


Unfortunately the only babies we have right now are of the furry variety. We have 2 dogs–they will be 7 soon, 1-10 yr old cat and the two babies at the left. I keep joking with my husband that if we don’t have a baby soon we will need to move to a farm because our house is too small for more animals. My mother instinct is so strong right now, I want something little to care for. How sad am I???

The title refers to my situation as a high school teacher. I just found out today that I have yet another student who is pregnant. I teach juniors and seniors in high school. This student makes number 17 on th year–for me a lone–that is pregnant or delievered a baby already this school year. It makes me want to scream. I can’t believe that these teens who look forward to living on welfare–they have told me such when I ask how they are going to raise and pay for thier baby–can get pregnant wihtout a problem and that my husband and I who have science on our side can’t. It just isn’t fair. Yes I know who said life would be fair? No one, but come on the cosmic forces must know that I would be a better parent than a 16 year old who can’t even finish her homework. I had one student–this burns my ass–who went into labor 2+ months early because she got into a fight. Yeah she is more fit to be a parent than me.

I know I sound like a whiny little baby, but we have been trying to have a family for 5 years and it has been a very long emotional road. I can’t believe that it really will happen soon, of course not before 4 or 5 more of my students deliever thier babies.

On a lighter note–I am fifty, yes fifty pounds lighter than I was 5 months ago. That atleast gives me something to smile about…When will our referral come? Soon please!!!! If someone out there is the cosmic space could take some time off from letting my teenage students get pregnant and helping those of us waiting to be parents to those orphans in Ethiopia who need us we would really appreciate it.

What is a waiting mother to do?

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

It seems that as everyday passes and there is no news of a referral we get closer and closer to the ominous court closure. The Ethiopian courts close for 6 weeks every year and that is like purgatory. If you get your referral before then, but your case doesn’t get to court before it closes you have to add an additional 6 weeks to your waiting time. Just the thought of that scares me. I don’t know what I will do with myself if we have to wait until Oct or Nov to travel. That will be awful.

We are working on the nursery and that is at least taking my mind off of things. Everyone says get a hobby, keep yourself busy. Yeah well easy for them to say they are not waiting. We have decided that when we travel to Ethiopia we will pick up the baby first prior to doing any traveling. I just know that I could not be in the country and not be with my baby. That would be so hard. Traveling with an infant won’t be easy but it will be so worth it. I want to see Ethiopia with my baby.

High I need me a baby!!

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

Oh Raising Arizona what a movie. I feel this way. We have been waiting for our referral for 9 weeks today. It is so hard and I can’t help but feel helpless. I know that in the US we really have it easy when it comes to waiting–our counterparts in Europe, Canada and Austrailia can wait up to 2 years for a referral and here I am complaining about a few of months. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could conceive my own child. But we can’t. We have done fertility treatements to no avial and it is frustrating as I have more and more students who are getting pregnant–the total for this year is 16. That really hurts me. I don’t deal with it well. On the outside I do, but it tears me up on the inside. I want nothing more than to be a parent and adoption will do that, but I really want to be pregnant and carry a baby. I want a baby that is my husband and me genetically. I don’t know if that will ever happen for us. I hope it will. But time is running out–we are both getting older.

The adoption agency we are using has approx 6 babies that are almost ready to be referred. I am hoping that we are in this group of 6 but if not that means we should be at the top of the list. I don’t know how much longer I can wait.