Charity And A One-Year-Old

I posted here today about Good Search and helping Ethiopian Orphan Relief, Inc.  Consider helping us out.  If there are other charities dear to your heart that use Good Search consider switching your charity each money to spread some of the benefits around.  It is tough in these economic times for charities and we depend on our supporters for money.  So, click over and read about it.

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I just want to give a big shout out today for my favorite one-year-old.  Zoë is one today.  I will post more in-depth about the amazingness of this little person tomorrow when I have a little more time.  I can hardly belief she is one.

Learning The Limits

That is the kids are pushing limits.  Noah has begun to push the limits and test my resolve at thing like nap and bedtime.  He is also flexing his own independence.  Hence, I have been relegated to the floor during our bedtime book reading, while Noah “reads” the book.  When I try and interject anything, “No Mom, Noah reading the book.”  Okay.  How quickly they no longer seem to need us for those things we once thoroughly enjoyed.  I loved snuggling up with Noah and reading a book or three and then putting him to bed.  Now–I sit on the floor, not allowed to read and I put him in bed and all he does is whine.  I know he just wants to see what he can get away with.  How far he can push his bedtime back.  How long mom will lay on the floor in his room while he pretends to fall asleep. 

Zoë on the other hand is pushing all the limits as she learns to do more things.  Like pull all the clea laundry out of the basket and scream with rapt abandon while she does it.  She has learned to climb up the stairs and if the gate is left open for a split second she is crawling up as fast as she can.  It is crazy.  She is close to walking, but seems content to crawl and cruise.  I use to think she would be walking any day now.  I am currently pretty sure that she won’t crawl for another month or so. 

Parenting babies is hard.  I am worn out and to be quite frank burnt out.  It’s not much different than teacher burn-out.  I give 100% of myself to my kids all day long and then again at night and then again on the weekend.  I really am living out the movie Groundhog Day.  It’s the same over and over.  I know this phase will pass.  I am looking forward to Zoë becoming a little more independent.  I am so ready to go back to work and hope that come the spring I will have a full-time job for the next year.  I am ready.  I owe to myself and my kids.  I’ll be happier when I am working outside of the home.  I often feel guilty that I cannot wait to go back to work.  I know a lot of mom’s who have to work for monetary reasons–not because, like me, they go insane staying home–and would love to be able to stay home.  I am at my ropes end and it is time. 

Parenting has taught me so much about myself.  I use to think that I might go back to work and attempt to get certified at the elementary level–no way is all I have to say to that.  I love my kids and I love spending time with them, but there is a reason I teach high school and college.   I have reached my baby parenting limit.  Hubby and I are going to adopt again, but we are going to wait 4 more years and then adopt a young sibling group–between the ages 6 and 2.  We are excited about this prospect as I don’t feel that my family is complete but I do feel that I have gotten to have the baby experience and I am kinda done with that.   I have reached my limit. 

Just a few pics of the kids from the weekend….

There Is No Relaxing When You Have Two Kids

You must constantly be on your game and watching.  I love having two kids and those who know me well know that I want more, but today was our first activity outing with two kids and it really is different watching out for two–even though one isn’t really mobile. 

We had an awesome gathering of our St. Louis Ethiopian Kids Community.  We had a pretty good turnout–about 10 families and it was nice as all of our kids were relatively young.  Noah thinks he is older and enjoyed wrestling with the older boys.  We then went to the pool–one of our amazing families offered up their vacation home and the complex has a pool.  Noah and Zoë had an absolute blast.  Just so you know–Zoë floats. It was pretty cool.  Noah had such a great time jumping into the pool and putting his head under the water.  We moved back and forth between the baby pool and the big pool.  He is fearless and didn’t want to leave. 

We are really lucky to live in a place where we have a network of families with kids from Ethiopia.  It will be invaluable to our children and to us as our kids grow up. 

Two Years Ago Today

I held Noah for the very first time. 

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He was very very sick, but it was the most amazing moment ever.  Not that holding Zo wasn’t great, but there was something about holding our very first child after everything we had been to to have a child that was so very special and indescribable.  He has come a long way from that little boy who was only 10.5 lbs and sick.

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Here he was last August marking our 1 year as a family…


Here Noah is today marking our 2 years as a family.

The past two years have been the most amazing two years of my life.  I had no idea that amount of joy one little person could bring to my life.  It certainly isn’t all sunshine and roses, but it is all amazing and the love I have for him grows with each smile and each “Love ya mommom”. 

Two years ago was also a very bittersweet and sad day–we had to take Noah back to the hospital.  To let him go after waiting so long was unbearably difficult and a little piece of my heart went with him and was bound to him in a deep and meaningful way.  That connection has gotten stronger each passing day.  Adoption is an amazing gift and on this day I honor M.A.–Noah’s birth mom for her strength and courage to give her son to us.  It is the most selfless thing a woman can do when she feels incapable of raising and giving her child the life and love a child needs.  I have the utmost respect for all birth moms and I hope M.A. can feel in her heart the amazing little boy that makes this world a better place.

It’s Okay To Say That My Son Is Black

Well, because he is and so is my daughter.  I haven’t really thought about how his blackness might make others uncomfortable especially when it comes to describing him.  I know this is something that I am going to deal with forever–people describing him as black in a negative way and in a positive way and having to determine the tone, etc.  But, he is black (really brown, but…).  

We were at a coffee house/cafe today that is totally kid friendly–they have a playroom with tables for eating lunch while the moms and some dads can eat and socialize while their children play.  This place gets very crazy–upwards of 30 kids under age 4 playing and running around with lots of mom’s and it’s kind of crazy. 

I am sitting with my mom friends talking and one of the employees comes over to see if anyone is missing a child.

We all look around–but it is utter chaos and so we stare blindly waiting for a description…

“curly hair.” 

we all still stare at her blankly

“blue jeans.”

we all still stare

“navy shirt.”

“Sounds like mine.” I say but still not sure.

Sure enough it is Minnow and he is playing up front with another little boy in the window.  I question why she didn’t use the obvious descriptor.  My two children are the only brown children in the entire place.  It just amazes me how hypersensitive people are about offending others. 

It wouldn’t have bothered me if she has asked if someone was missing a little black boy–it wouldn’t have taken so long to figure out whose child was missing…I guess it bother me because we cannot ignore color.  Ignoring color makes it the 800lb gorilla in the room.  Minnow and Peepers will know that they are black and I will never ignore their color and don’t want other to ignore it either.  I don’t want it to be more important than it is, but I also don’t want it to be ignored.  It just makes everyone involved uncomfortable. 

So, those of you of color or with kiddos of color–what’s your take?