There Is No Relaxing When You Have Two Kids

August 24, 2008 / Dawn Kasal-Finley / 4 Comments

You must constantly be on your game and watching. I love having two kids and those who know me well know that I want more, but today was our first activity outing with two kids and it really is different watching out for two–even though one isn’t really mobile.

We had an awesome gathering of our St. Louis Ethiopian Kids Community. We had a pretty good turnout–about 10 families and it was nice as all of our kids were relatively young. Noah thinks he is older and enjoyed wrestling with the older boys. We then went to the pool–one of our amazing families offered up their vacation home and the complex has a pool. Noah and Zoë had an absolute blast. Just so you know–Zoë floats. It was pretty cool. Noah had such a great time jumping into the pool and putting his head under the water. We moved back and forth between the baby pool and the big pool. He is fearless and didn’t want to leave.

We are really lucky to live in a place where we have a network of families with kids from Ethiopia. It will be invaluable to our children and to us as our kids grow up.

The Long Awaited Ethiopia Post

July 8, 2008 / Dawn Kasal-Finley / 5 Comments

I am bucking adoption blogging tradition and lumping my entire trip into one post. I am pressed for time (with two active kids and all) and the trip was much more uneventful than our first adoption trip. Just let me say that the plane ride to Ethiopia was absolutely awful–last row, seats so old their was no cushion left–long and no sleep was to be had.

Monday June 23
I was jolted out of a dead sleep by the phone. It was Gail calling to tell us she’d be picking us up at 9:45 am to go to Wanna and get Peepers. It was an awesome phone call and I couldn’t wait. We didn’t get this phone call the last time. We tagged along with the other family who was getting their baby and in hindsight I wish I would have waited for the call so that we didn’t have the turmoil and pain of waiting. Anyway, this is Peepers adoption story not Minnows. I looked at the clock and we had a little over an hour to get ready before Gail would be picking us up…Waiting in the lobby was hard, I just couldn’t wait to go and hold Peepers. It seemed I had been waiting so long to hold her–but in reality it was just about 4 months since we had received our referral. Gail met us and took us on the long drive to the AAI compound. It really should have been a short drive, but there is a lot of construction happening on the route to AAI’s compound and the drive took a little longer than usual. I was so happy to see all of the construction and development happening. I know that it only means those with money have more, but it does provided for lots of jobs and more opportunity.

Arriving at Wanna was surreal and really did feel like it had been just yesterday that I was there. I was exactly the same and the faces were the same as well. It was nice to know that those who had loved Minnow were now loving Peepers. I was the only family there to pick up kids the week we were there…this was great as we got lots of personalized attention this trip. We walked in to the baby room and Peepers was being help by one of the nannies. Gail went over and took her and brought her over to me. It was an awesome moment.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjrZF1Kbxng%5D
I was so happy at the instant and holding her felt so natural as though she had always been my daughter. It was a great moment. The nurse came in to give Peepers her medicine (for the ear infection) and to tell me how to administer it. They went over her schedule with me and told me a few things about her–she doesn’t like a wet diaper and her bottom is rather sensitive she gets diaper rash really really easily and that she doesn’t like to be warm when she sleeps–no pants, etc. She is quite a little furnace and puts off a lot of body heat.

We hung out at Wanna a little bit more and then we arranged to come back to Wanna the following day to take a tour (we hadn’t done this with Minnow) and arranged to go to Nazret on Thursday with an AAI social worker to see the hospital where Peepers was taken when she was found. All in all it was awesome. We went back to the hotel and hung out with Peepers there and just got to know each other a little. It was so low-key and completely stress-free aside from the fact that I had a new little human whom I knew nothing about.

Tuesday June 24
AAI’s driver Dawit picked us up and took us to Wanna so I could get pics of the babies and we could take a tour. Dawit was then going to pick us up a few hours later to take us shopping. Wanna/Layla is really an amazing place. It is so much bigger than I had pictured. It was amazing to see all of the kids. I was so overwhelmed by the whole experience that I didn’t take any pictures on the tour and I feel really bad as it would be nice to have those pics. Two of the volunteers currently working at AAI were actually adopted from Layla and have come back to give back. That to me speaks volumes to the work that AAI does and the family atmosphere created at Layla. It was great to meet them.

Shopping was awesome and I wish I hadn’t been so tired and that I had known what I wanted to buy for myself. There was so much, but I got a few things. I have to say that I am absolutely the worst shopper ever, because I don’t bargain all that well. Especially when it all boils down to a dollar or two. I know I should and that I am being taken advantage of by the locals because I am a foreigner. But it is hard when again it boils down to a dollar or two. I got some great stuff for the kids–some t-shirts and a few traditional outfits. We then headed on back to the hotel and hung out more with Peepers.

Wednesday June 25
The embassy. It was so simple and so easy. It took about 3 minutes for our appointment. We were in and out in under 15 minutes. We did more hanging out at the hotel with Peepers. We didn’t do anything around the city as I had done it all before and my dad was happy to hang out with his granddaughter. It was really great to get to hang out in the room–eat room service, etc and get to know Peepers a little better and for her to get comfortable with me. By this day it was obvious she understood that I was her mommy and would be the one to take care of her. If she couldn’t see me she would cry and she would reach out for me and would instantly stop crying when I would hold her. It amazes me how aware these babies are and how quicklly they learn and understand that their new mommy and daddy love them and are there to take care of them.

Thursday June 26
This was by far the most emotional day of our trip. Going to Nazret was a real treat. We know where Minnow is from and even had an address of where he was left and the name of the woman who cared for him and brought him in. But we didn’t go and looking back I regret that so very much as it would have been a priceless experience. Our trip was so emotional with Minnow that I understand why we didn’t try to go and see but I do deeply regret it.

The drive was really really long–about an hour and a half through the urban countryside. The amount of traffic amazes me and gives me hope that there really is some good development happening. We did see a couple of accidents on the road to Nazret and we did have a donkey walk right out in front of us as we were doing 60 mph–Dawit did an awesome job of missing the donkey. It was a harrowing effort. We arrived in Nazret and it is a nice size city for a developing nation. There isn’t the stark contrast between rich and poor in Nazret. There are houses and strips of shopping stalls, etc. There were people milling about everywhere as if they were waiting for something to happen.

We drove to the hospital and entered. It was so weird and sad, as it is nothing like any hospital you have seen if you haven’t been to one in a developing nation. We pulled up to the child/infant ward and there is a sign (I didn’t get a picture of it) that describes the ward as the child ward–where they take place of those who have no parents to take care of and nurture them. It hurt every ounce of my being to see that sign an to think about the sheer numbers of children who have been found and brought to these small rooms to be cared for in a room that is just that a concrete room. It is dark and depressing, isolated and lonely. I think of her time here and am happy that they were able to nurse her to health (she was very sick when she was brought to them) but I am sad that that hospital is in such a state. I know that my standards are western and first world standards but there could be something done to make the orphan’s ward a much more welcoming place.

her bed for the week she was in the hospital

the nurse who loved and named her

The first photo of her at the hospital

We had lunch in Nazret and had to wait around for hours to bring a new child back to AAI’s compound. Everything in Ethiopia happens on Ethiopia time–which means when I get there. It was a long day and again made me appreciate everything that our agencies go through to make our adoptions happen. I am forever grateful to the work of those who have made it possible for us to be a family.

Friday June 27
We picked up Peepers passports and said good-bye. We arrived at the airport early and still didn’t get a bassinet seat, but we were able to get an extra seat between us on the flight home and that made it all the more bearable. Peepers did awesome on the flight and it was great to arrive home. Home forever…June 28, 2008.

Things Left Unsaid

June 19, 2008 / Dawn Kasal-Finley / 6 Comments

I haven’t spent anytime here discussing one of the biggest crises to hit Ethiopia since the 80’s. Famine. Ethiopia is ever important to me and will forever be my second nation–because it is my children’s first nation. As as examine our society of excess–really who needs a double whopper or double quarter pounder with cheese? The waste that happens in this country on any given day would be welcome 8000 miles away. Our greed often prevents us from giving to those whose are not as fortunate as us.

There is so much more we could do if we wanted. There is so much we could do if we banned together to help the country that has been kind enough to allow us to adopt their children–their precious resources. Danielle–president of EOR posted a great letter on EOR’s blog. We are working hard to find a way to help with the relief efforts. You can donate through our organization. And if not ours–please donate to someone’s. It is our responsibility as parents of Ethiopian born children to help in any way we can.

___________________________________

So, my carry-on is too heavy. Ethiopian Airlines has a very strict carry-on policy. One bag under 15lbs. I can also carry on a purse. But really–15 lbs ads up quickly. I knew this would be an issue so I went out and bought a small carry-on. I spend a lot of time picking up bags to try and determine which was lighter, etc. I thought I had scored. Turns out the bag I bought weighed 8lbs empty. Over half of my weight allowance. UGH. Now I have to figure out another carry-on and it has to be light. I really don’t have that much stuff–only about 9lbs of stuff to carry-on (camera, lens, small camera, dvd player, books–they all take up space and are necessary to carry-on).

I get to leave on Saturday to bring Peepers home. I will get to meet her on Monday June 23rd and I cannot wait to hold her. It is going to be awesome.

Racism Is Everywhere–Even When All The Same “Race”

June 9, 2008 / Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

I just read an interesting information pieceby the University of Washington about the tribal roots of both of my children. Minnow and Peepers are both of Oromo descent. Sadly, my son and daughter would have been second class citizens with no political autonomy in their own country because of their Oromo heritage. I had no idea that there was such a system of overt oppression in place and it reminds me a great deal of our white society’s own systematic oppression of blacks. I am sad that this “racism” or tribalism is part of my children’t heritage and that part of the reason there are so many poor Oromo in Ethiopia is because they are discriminated against. Did Minnow and Peepers moms’ feel they had no choice but to give up their children because they would be doomed to a life of living at the bottom of the social hierarchy? I will sadly never know their reasons. I can only hope to teach my children that “racism” is real and painful and something we must work to change–something we must never accept as okay. We must speak up and work to change the relegation of whole populations of people to the lower strata based on their skin color or heritage.

I am glad that Obama is the Democratic Nominee for President and I accept and realize what an important step it is. We cannot become complacent in our fight for equality because a black man has achieved what was once deemed impossible. There is racism lurking in every corner of our society. We must work to bring it to an end and arm our children with the tools and intellect to be able to bring about change.

Reasons Why I Am Happy To Live Where I Do

April 11, 2008 / Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

You can go to this section of the WHOwebsite and read about 5 different women in 5 different developing countries having babies–it gives snapshots of these 5 women at different stages of their pregnancy and upt to a year after their child is born. It is sobering to think of the realities that faced the mothers of my children.

9.7% of births in Ethiopia are attended by a skilled attendant.

1 in 14 women in Ethiopia die during pregnancy or childbirth.

only 27 % of pregnant women in Ethiopia receive/have access to prenatal care.

In Ethiopia, 37% of infants between 6 and 11 months are underweight.

In Ethiopia, 38 in every 1000 babies die in their first seven days of life from preventable diseases.

In Ethiopia, 110 in every 1000 babies die before their first birthday.

In Ethiopia, 1 in 6 children die before their fifth birthday. The majority of these deaths are due to preventable and treatable conditions such as pneumonia, malaria and measles.

In Ethiopia, only 17% of children under five years old sleep under bed nets to protect them against malaria.

So this drives me, pushes me, forces me, to want to make some sort of REAL contribution to the country that has given me so much. I am going to start raising money to buy Mosquito nets for beds. I am in contact with my agencies director to try and find an already established outlet to make sure that these nets get to families with children who live in areas that are susceptible to malaria.

If you are interested in donating money to this effort–I implore you to do so–contact me at dawn @ sbcglobal dot net. I will set up a streamlined way to collect donations. My goal is to be able to provide as many nets for as many families as I can.

How will you help? What are willing to do to change the quality of life of another human being?

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