Friends

Lucky

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

I am feeling very fortunate these days and I think it is important to remember how lucky I am.  My marriage is awesome, not perfect, but at least totally awesome and healthy.  My husband dislikes his job–the politics part, not the actual work he has to do.  I like my job and know I have it for as long as I want it or until the state runs out of money to pay for it.  All of these things are easy to take for granted. I know these seems like a totally self-indulgent post.  But I need to remind myself of these things and to show thanks for them, because they are not guaranteed.

A couple/family close to us that we have known for nearly 7 years is separated.  While I don’t know the personal details of their marriage, it seems to have happened over night.  One day my husband pointed out something I had noticed–the wife hadn’t been around much.  This is a family who we spend a lot of time with–a family who we consider friends.  Our kids play together all the time and are constantly in each others homes.  Their kids are nearly 5 and 2–mine are 5 and 3.5.  It breaks my heart to see a family fall apart. It is not something that I have every witnessed this up close and personal.  It touches too close to home for my husband. His parents separated when he was 6.  It is a confusing time for the kids and probably just as confusing for the parents.

I am being supportive as possible and reaching out to the family.  We invite the kids over when we can as this time isn’t easy for anyone and if inviting the kids over to play gives them a small sense of normalcy and the parents a feeling that they aren’t totally alone, then that is the least I can do.  Because we are a community and it does take a village.  So, I will continue to help and be thankful that I am as lucky as I am.

 

Friends

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

I met Stacie almost 5 years ago, after we had adopted our son Noah.  Stacie was in the process of adopting a baby from Ethiopia and was one of the first in St. Louis.  Stacie brought her son home about 8 months after our son came home (approximately–really I can’t remember last week let alone 4 years ago). Noah and Micah have known each other pretty much their entire life. It’s really great and they like the same things–Star Wars, Super Heroes–you know being boys.

We brought Zoë home 3 years ago and then Stacie brought home Lia.  Lia is Zoë’s first real friend.  Even though there is an age gap of over a year–Zoë could care less.  She love to play with  Li-Li.  And OMG–Lia calls out her name and it is adorable.  I look forward to these four being friends for a long time.  If not for them, for me–because Stacie’s pretty awesome and so are her kiddos.

Yesterday we went to City Garden and the kids played together instantly–like they get to play together everyday.  That’s what is so awesome about kids.  They had a blast and Noah and Zoë can’t wait to do it again.

I Should Not Be Allowed To Navigate–Ever

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

Well almost never.  Sometimes I do an OK job, other times it’s quite comical.  This weekend provided two examples of my poor navigational skills.  I have no sense of direction and never really have.  This is not new and I am quite use to not exactly knowing where I am or where I am going if it is somewhere new.  I luckily know my way around the immediate area that I live in. 

I am so lucky that my best friend moved back to town after years of living in Los Angeles.  She moved out to SoCal after I did and she stayed quite a bit longer than I did.  But she has returned home to her family and me.  It is so  nice to have her home.  We met our freshman year of high school and have been friends ever since.  Our 20 year reunion is coming up in 09.  That’s just how long we have been friends.  She is awesome.  So, I was really doing her a favor by taking her the complete wrong way on Saturday night as we went to dinner.  I wanted to go to this Tapas restaurant that I went to once with hubby.  I figured I would make a reservation.  I couldn’t remember the name of the place we went which is really where my problem started.  As we have more than one tapas restaurant here in town. 

I made reservations but it turns out I made reservations at a place on the hill not in Clayton–we went to Clayton.  I am trying to find the address for a street that doesn’t exist in the part of town I dragged her to.  It really is comical.  Once I figured out my faux pas, I got us to our destination without much of a problem.  The sad part is that our original destination was about 5-8 minutes from my house–it took us close to 45. 

I’m lucky she loves me.  I’ll have to tell the story about the time we went to Vegas.  It’ll make a small detour look like nothing.

so, I had a great birthday weekend.  I ate and drank too much and certainly don’t feel as relaxed as I would like to have felt–but I have two kiddos and they are exhausting.  Hope everyone had a great weekend.

Thankful Day Four or Day 22

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

Happy Thanksgiving.  I am officially stuffed.  I went spinning this morning–it was a hell of a ride–so I don’t feel too guilty for eating turkey and the wonderful Pumpkin Carmel Swirl Cheesecake Minnow and I made yesterday…

I know I have said this before, but it is hard to talk about all things I am thankful for…as there are so many things beyond what I might be able to blog about these 7 days of thanks I am having.  I really am thankful for so much in my life.  I really have very little to not be thankful for (if anything really)

Today I would like to dedicate this Thankful post to my friends.  I am so very lucky to have the friends that I have–both new and old friends.  My closest friends are with me since before high school or since my freshman year in high school (so nearly 20 years and some much longer).  I ddn’t go to college out of high school, so I don’t have college friends.  When I went to college I was well in my 20’s and lived off campus–Hello older than everyone.  I have a great friend that I made while we were roommates in Santa Barbara.  She is awesome, but lives too too far away and I miss her. 

My oldest friend has been my friend since 1st grade–Hey Steckler I so miss you.  We aren’t as close as we could be as life just gets in the way.  She lives out of town and well you all know how crazy and busy life gets with marriage, kids, school, work, etc., etc., etc.  I have been lucky in life to have great friends.  I am always amazed when I think about my friends that I actually have friends.  I am not really a social person and never really have been.  I like having friends and I like getting together with friends, but I don’t like socializing.  I don’t like small talk.  I like having friends, but I have always been of the mindset that if I have a few close friends, I really have all the friends I need. 

My friends have been with me through so much.  My oldest friends were with me through the dark time that was high school and after.  Without them I am not sure I would have survived.  My oldest friends deserve some sort of friendship purple heart because I could be a selfish bitch and many times I was.  But they stayed with me.  They stuck it out and too them I will for ever be grateful.  I don’t know sometimes what I have done to deserve such awesome friends, but I have learned the questioning this isn’t productive and I should spend that time loving my and appreciating my friends and I don’t know that I do enough of that. 

Friendship is important and I have often neglected my friends.  Not on purpose, but as I stated a minute ago life sometimes gets in the way.  But I want you all to know that I appreciate you and love you and would not be who I am today without you.   

Dr. CS–you give me such strength and inspiration.  You have always been there for me and I love you so much for that.  You mean more to me than I know how to express.  I am so lucky to have you as part of my life.  I miss you tremendously and think of you often.  Knowing you and being your friend has made me a better person.  Thank you.  I am so thankful to have you. 

Mrs. KS (formerly KC)–what can I say besides I love you.  We spent so much of our time living within each other lives that sometimes I don’t remember if it was you or me that something happened too.  You have a light and a spirit that lightens my world and draws people to you.  You helped me discover so often who I was and you forgave me when that discovery hurt you.  I regret many things–but mostly I regret ever hurting you.  I know it was long ago and is all water under the bridge.  Your forgiveness has taught me much and is the greatest gift I could ever ask for. I love you.  Thank you for being my friend. 

To my new fellow Ethiopian Mamas…Your friendship is so very precious.  We share an experience that others cannot understand.  You are very special ladies and I am so lucky to have you in my life.  I look forward to watching our little ones grown into men together. 

To my blogging friends–as odd as this sounds you all give me an outlet.  A place to talk and be heard.  A place to share in experiences and to foster growth in myself.  I cannot wait to meet many of you–the time will certainly come.  Thank you for listening.  Sometimes that is all we need is someone to listen. 

So, take some time out this week and thank those friends who have helped you through your life and to become who you are today.  Too often we forget to thank those who are so much a part of who we are.  While you are at it thank yourself for being a friend. 

Friends or Day 10

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

I just got home from a great lunch with a few of my girlfriends.  We meet once a month for lunch, as life is busy.  We all met over 5 years ago when we were teachers (many of us first year teachers) and have stayed friends since.  It is nice.  I think as I get older I have underestimated what friendship really means.  Once you get married and then start to have kids, unless you make time for friends relationships fade and it is hard to get them back.  So, today I will make it a point to contact some old friends, who are important to me, but whom I just haven’t made time for.  Friends are too important to let life push them out. 

Thanks to those of you who are new friends.  It is nice to have you who share similar experiences.  New friends are just as necessary as old and I want to sent to shout out to my new friends.  You know who you are. 

Who have you forgotten lately?  What have you not taken the time for that adds to your life?