Letters

15-Months-Old

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

Dear Zoë,

You have been home with us for just over 7 months now–you have now officially been with us longer than you had been in agency care in Ethiopia.  It is a glorious moment and I have a hard time remembering what it was like before you entered our lives.  Maybe that is becasue you have been with us since we were in Ethiopia picking Noah up.  That is when your daddy looked at me and said “I want a baby girl.”  As soon as we were home, we began the process to add you to our family.  I hope that you will someday know exactly how wanted you were/are.  I want you and your brother to both know and understand just how much we wanted you all in our lives and not because we want your gratitude, but because I want you to be strong and confident and that will come from you understanding just how important you are to us.  

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You have started to play the harmonica and it is really cute.  You walk around blowing into it and smiling at yourself and giggling like a school girl.  You continue to follow your brother and dad around as though they invented all the cool things in your world.  You and your brother are inseperable and are total buds.  You pal around together all day and Noah only pushes you around sometimes and you are perfecting your fake cry so that Noah gets in trouble and you get the attention.  It’s quite girly of you and it scare me for what those teen years are going to bring. 

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Life has been crazy this month and very busy.  You are easy going and just roll with all the ups and downs.  You are quick with a smile and a laugh.  You love to snuggle and drink coffee.  You haven’t met an opportunity to eat that you haven’t taken advantage of.  You sit for minutes and attempt to put on your socks and shoes–even though you already have shoes on.  You scream to let me know you want something, that you are unhappy, or that you are happy.  You are an equal opportunity screamer and while it is often cute–sometimes it makes me want to gouge my eyes out and let my brain explode.  But you never fail to make me smile. 

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Your rock our world Zoë and I can’t imagine my life without you nor can I remember what life was before you. 

Love you,

Mommy

34-Months-Old

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

Dear Noah,

I can hardly believe that you have been home with us for nearly 30 months.  How time flies and what a blessing you are.  I am so lucky to have both you and your sister and I could never have dreamed to have such a perfect family.

You are two months away from turning 3 and you can’t wait.  You have begun to ask a little more often “when my birthday is?” and we remind you that it is in March.  You take that info and then ask “is it March?”  It’s cute.  You have also mastered holding up 3 fingers to indicate your age and relish that you becoming a big boy. Now if only we could channel some of this excitement about being 3 into excitement about becoming potty trained.  We’ll get there. 

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You are growing so fast and developing at an alarming rate.  Your vocabulary is expanding my hundreds of words a week.  Some of the things you say are hilarious and have me laughing out loud.  Your personality is also blossoming and you really are a sweet kid.  You have your moments as do most toddler/pre-schoolers.  But over all your a joy to be around. 

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The above face is one I see often, but it doesn’t last too long and generally returns to the happy “Silly maaan” face.  You have overcome your Kung-Fu Panda obsession and are now obsessed with Cars.  You ask to watch it a lot–at least 4 times a day that movie plays all the way through.  Now don’t get me wrong–you don’t watch it all the way through each time–I’m not even sure you sit down long enough to watch it one full time a day.  But you are all about Lightening McQueen, The King, Doc Hudson, Mater, and company.  You have a collection of cars you carry around with you and that you dad and I spend a good portion of time trying to find as they get dropped or left in the most curious places.  We also spend a lot of time playing cars and I hear “Mommy that not how you do it” more often than I care to admit.  Who knew there were such rules to car playing? 

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“Mommy lets play Candy Lane.”  I tell you “Sure but it’s Candy Land.” 

You reply…”No, I think it’s Candy Lane mommy.”  I have learned there are somethings I just can’t argue about with you my almost 3-year-old.  We play lots of Candy Land and you are getting pretty good at it and understanding the whole concept of rules and turns, etc.  I am pretty proud that you have mastered turn taking and are a pretty good sport.  You don’t get mad when mommy beats you and your also a pretty good sport when you win.  Dad gets mad at me when I talk about winning and losing, etc.  But it’s a fact of life and I sorry, but I really like to win.  You also enjoy a good game of Memory or Concentration whatever it’s being called these days.  You are not so good at that one, but you do okay and you just seem to really like playing.  You’ll get better. 

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You continue to keep me on my toes and you have grown quite fond of your sister.  You play so very nicely with her and are rarely mean to her.  You share your toys with her and have learned that if you want to take something away from her that you have to give her something else or she’ll cry and you’ll get in trouble.  I am so happy that you can spend a good chunk of time playing with your sister upstairs and no one gets hurt.  It’s pretty awesome.  You are pretty awesome. 

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You are sleeping in your big boy bed and it’s getting better.  You still manage to make it downstairs and into mommy and daddy’s bed every night/morning somewhere between 3:30 and 5:30am.  You have learned quickly to sneak into the bed quietly so that no one takes you back to your own bed.  I have to admit I love waking up and feeling you all snuggled up next to me.  I know it won’t last forever, but I will enjoy it while it does.  Keep rocking it little man and you will go far in this world. 

Love you baby,

Mommy

13-And 14-Months Old

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

Dear Zoë,

As I told your brother in his latest letter, you will come to learn that your mother often believes she is capable of doing it all and..well sadly I am only human and I often run out of time.  So, here I sit 3 days after you have turned 14-months-old trying to cram two months of your amazingness into one letter at nearly midnight. 

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You have grown and changed so much over the last two monts.  Shortly after your first birthday you began walking.  It took about 10 days for walking to become your preferred method of transportation–since then you haven’t stopped going.  It has been amazing seeing you grow and change. 

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You follow your brother around like a little puppy and try to do everything he does.  He jumps off the couch–you are pretty sure that you can jump off of the couch too.  You are fearless and nothing stops you.  It is fun to watch and a little scary.  You are growing more independent–you decided that you no longer care to be fed.  You must use the fork or spoon yourself–it is quite messy and ineffective as your motor skills are not quite what they need to be to feed yourself.  There are times when you don’t object to being fed and I enjoy being allowed to feed you. 

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Your first Thanksgiving–okay well not your first thanksgiving–but your first Thanksgiving with us and the first one you got to participate in–as Ethiopia obviously doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving.  You ate and had a good time.  It was certainly one more thing your father and I are thankful for. 

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Your personality continues to emerge and I have to say that you are a pretty funny little girl.  You are also a little needier than Noah was.  Not that I am complaining–you like to be held more and you are a bit more of a snuggler.  It’s really nice.  You are beginning to talk and have words for banana (manna) which is currently your favorite food.  Every time I walk you past the fruit bowl you reach out for one.  You can also sign “more” when asked and you are attempting to say more (mar).  You are good with the “m” sound but have yet to say daddy or any thing relatively close. 

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You are a ray of sunshine–and an awesome sleeper–who smiles that wonderful scrunchy face smile and makes me giggle.  I look so forward to what will come next with you.  Keep growing.  Keep changing and keep smiling. 

Love you baby girl,

Mommy

32-Months-Old–Now 33-Months-Old

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

Dear Noah,

Today–yes today Over a week ago you turned 32-months-old.  Let me just say that I had every intention of writing this letter last month and then again last week.  But you will learn something about your mom–I am constantly taking on more than I can do and I have a hard time finding time to fit it all in.  I try but somethings fall by the wayside and I sorry that your newsletter found it’s way there.  I am going to try to do better and that really is al that I can promise. 

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You have been part of our family for what seems like forever but in reality is 28 months–which is a very long time.  I never noticed how much you changed and how quickly before I started writing your monthly letters.  While it has only been four months since I started writing to you monthly, I find myself paying much more attention to what you are doing. 

This past month has been a big one for us.  You are now sleeping in your “big boy” bed.  This is the second time we have attempted to transition you.  I did some things better this time around–I disassembled the crib and moved it out of your room and I think that has helped the transition.  You still have not yet made it all night in your room but you are getting better and you don’t cry when we put you in it.  I am certain by the time that I am writing your next letter you will be sleeping all night in your “big boy” bed.

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I have tried to start and attempt to potty train you.  You are making progress and hope that by your 3rd birthday I can say that you are potty-trained.  We can hope. 

As you get more and more verbal you amaze me with your words and the things that you say.  You are trying out “Knock Knock” jokes, but don’t quite get the whole concept and it’s pretty funny.  You say the whole “knock knock whose there” and then laugh as though it was the funniest thing ever.  Often you walk up to me and ask me–“feel my muscles.”  You get that from your Grandpa Mike, who you lovingly call “Mike”–your just too busy to add Grandpa to it.  You spend a great deal of time at your Grandpa Mike and Grandma Lori’s house and you love it there–it really is your home away from home and I am happy that you have another place you feel loved and safe. 

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You’re Grannie Sue came to visit at Thanksgiving and you had a blast spending a week running her ragged and we went to Champaign and spent some time with your cousins and you had blast having tea parties and playing trains. 

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Your 33rd month was so full of fun and excitement.  We decorated for Christmas and you got to pick out your first Christmas tree.  You talked about Santa for the entire month.  You are changing so fast and it makes me sad to see some of your toddlerhood fall away as you begin to become a full fledged pre-schooler.  I can’t believe that you are growing so fast. 

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This month has seen you become fully fascinated with Kung-fu Panda.  You want to play it all the time.  You karate chop with the best of them and it is hilarious to watch.  You are a total crack up.  You are also totally into your trains and ask your dad to play with you at least 20 times a day. 

You have become such an awesome big brother to your little sister.  You play so well with her and you are slightly less annoyed when she plays with your toys and you are starting to help her and attempt to teach her how to “play.”

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You continue to bring laughter into my world everyday.  The things you say and the reasoning you use to come to decisions…or the way you cradle your chin with your hand like Rodin’s Thinker and say “maybe, I ….”  It is adorable. 

This past month has been a blur, but this was the first Christmas where you actually gasped that Santa Claus was a person and he brought you gifts. It was awesome.  We have be prepping you for your next birthday which will come too fast for me.  You know you’ll be three.  On New Year’s Eve, I was explaining to you that it was the last day of the year and that the next day would mark the start of a whole new year and you asked “my birthday is next year.”  I said yes and told you that you will have a birthday every year.  Your eyes nearly exploded out of your head and you said “EVERY YEAR?”  as though I had just promised you the world and stars.  Keep being amazed little man–it does only get better. 

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Love you lots,

Mommy

12-Months And 1 Day Old

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

Dearest Zoë,

Yesterday you turned one.  I know you are now a whole number instead of parts of a month.  Of course for the coming year, your age will be marked in months.  Who am i kidding.  Your age will be marked in months until I decide to stop writing these letters to you.  I could sadly decide to stop them as quickly as I decided they need to be written.  If you like these letters you owe a huge debt of gratitude to Heather.  I stole the idea from her and when I did, I have to say I didn’t really think how quickly a month passes and because you and your brother have birthdays that are close in number, I feel like I am just cycling through writing letters.  But they are awesome ways to remember what is going on in your life. 

You are one and I just can’t believe it.  The time has gone so fast.  Yesterday caught me thinking a great deal about your Ethiopian mother and how bittersweet the day must have been for her.  To finally get to hold you in her arms after nurturing you in her womb for 40 weeks (give or take).  To see your face and to know that she could not keep you–this will be something we talk about often as we remember the brave and courageous choice she made.  I know in my heart that she loved you greatly.  She has given us the greatest gift of all–the gift of life. Without her you would not be part of our family.  I can see her in you and know that she must have been a beautiful person.  I too thought and think of your Ethiopian father.  As the case with adoption and often international adoption the biological father is overlooked.  So many questions left unanswered.  We will work through it all together.

You had your first birthday party and I have to say you enjoyed it.  You loved having people play with you–you didn’t pay much attention to the presents–most of which were clothes, aside from the cermaic Jonathon Adler Squirrel ring box that your uncle’s Jay and Curt gave you.  Because every girl needs one.  You ate cake and smashed it all over your face.  It was fun, but made mom realize birthday parties are too much work and even though it is nice to have the extended family over for the party and who doesn’t like presents, its too much work and so from here on out we may just do small immediate family parties. 

You still aren’t walking, but you are so close.  You’ll stand on your own and rock back and forth, you just haven’t developed the bravery or confidence to try and move those feet.  You’ll walk with me holding on to only one finger, but the minute we lose touch you drop to your butt and crawl.  This strikes me as odd only because you are a bit of a daredevil.  You are a climber–you climb on everything.  You’ll be walking soon, even though I was pretty positive that you would be walking already.  I am not rushing you–take your time baby.

You are developing so well.  You are very different from your brother though.  I know I shouldn’t compare but it’s hard not to.  I do it not for competition reasons–I promise.  This past month was a busy month for you–you went to your first pumpkin patch, had your first sleepover at Grandpa Mike and Grandma Lori’s house, you celebrated your first halloween and you traveled home from a foreign country.  Hard to believe that is was only a month ago that we returned from St. Maarten.  It seems like a life time.  Part of that is because you are a non-stop ball of energy.  There is no stopping  you. You go and go and go until I think you have hit  your limit and then you keep going. 

Your smile is bright and you smile big with both your mouth and eyes.  You still are goofy in love with your daddy and are starting to exert yourself with your brother.  You scream at him when he pisses you off by pushing you out of the way.  It’s pretty cute.  You are laid back and a little mellow but mostly you just go.  You are an awesome little girl and have a beautiful personality.  I am excited about seeing it develop. 

Love you,

Mommy