9 Months Old

Dear Zoë,

You are nine months old today and I am sad that I didn’t get to hold you and comfort you for months one-seven.  I met you for the first time when you were just over seven and a half months old and so full of personality that I was sorry to not have seen it blossom.  I was wrong; you hadn’t quite blossomed yet.  In this past month you have accomplished and changed so much.  You are such a happy baby and really do only cry when you are tired and/or hungry.  You smile and laugh and are so totally in love with your big brother. 

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You sit up on your own and make it no secret that you want to be able to move and run around and chase that brother of yours who doesn’t sit still or to chase those dogs who sit just out of your reach.  Your dad and I have already noticed you have a stubborn streak and can tell it will only get more intense as you age.  We will certainly have our hands full with you. You don’t like to sleep and I am certain that you will be very well prepared for college and the need to pull all-nighters because you were out partying up until midnight the night before you paper is due.  I can just tell that about you. 

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You have given your father lots and lots of grey hair already and you aren’t even dating yet.  I don’t know what your dad is going to do when that happens.  He’ll probably just lock you in your room.  And that would be okay.  You won’t go for that as you are clearly your own girl already and I have no doubt that you won’t quickly become your own woman when the time comes.  You look happily on as your brother plays and laugh at him often.  I know that you are just waiting for the day to come when you can run after him and I have to say, I am too.  I don’t want you to grow up too fast, but I long to see the precious interactions that are going to transpire between you and Noah.  He loves you so much and wants very badly to play with you. 

One of your favorite activities is playing in the water–bath water, pool water, any kind of water.  Which is a good thing, because it is one of the best things to do on a hot Midwest summer day and you have had your fair share of those already.  The water is great for you because you are a sweater.  It doesn’t take you long to work up a full on “man” sweat.  It’s cute now, but I am sure you will hate it immensely when you go on your first tennis date and you sweat more than your date.  Sorry kiddo, you’ll just have to deal with it. 

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You are growing at a rapid pace and your personality expands daily.  You have to have your hands on whatever is in reach–even if it’s attached to someone.  You are still putting everything in your mouth and have gotten your first upper tooth (your third altogether) and the next one is on the edge of poking through. You are a talker and are loud which fits in great in this family, but I am pretty sure you will never be louder than Noah.  I can’t imagine that and to consider your loudness will rival his is just not something that I can consider without purchasing large amounts of alcohol and sedatives. 

When you smile big your scrunch your face and it is the cutest thing ever and you are already beginning to do that a little less as you get older. Noah taught you how to clap your hands and you do it incessantly and smile your scrunchy smile the whole time.  You smile lights up my world and I cannot imagine my life without you in it. 

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Your spirit is bright and we are a better family for having you in it.  I cannot wait to watch you grow and change and blossom into the beautiful flower you are going to become.  I hope to develop and foster an amazing relationship with you while always remaining your mom. 

I know your dad feels the same way.  I have seen a different side of him when he interacts with you–his baby girl.  He is gentler and more patient.  He loves you so much and his face lights up every time you smile at him.  He is going to be tough on you and your brother because he expects you two to be the best people you can be and he won’t accept anything else nor will he demand more than you are capable of.  He will protect you with all of his power and teach you with all of his intellect.  He will love you as only a father can. 

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Zoë you are special and so very loved.  You so innocently reflect that love right back at us and give us so much more than I could have ever imagined.  You shine and I cannot wait to see how bright.

I love you,

Momma

28 Months Old

I have found a need to use the ever-popular monthly newsletter idea for my children here on out.  Why you ask?  Not to copy those super popular bloggers who have been doing it forever–but because I am getting old and with two kids (even with one–let’s be honest) I cannot remember for shit and I really want my children to have a record of their milestones and young life.  I would love to have a monthly account of my life as a child.  I feel bad for Minnow that his won’t start until he is 28 months old and Peepers will start at 9 months–but he is the first child and he has gotten more “The World Revolves Around Me” time than any of our other kids will get.  So he’ll just have to resolve this issue in therapy when he’s older and realizes I have published his entire life on the internet.  Also you will notice that I have changed their alias’.  I figured it was time. 

Dear Noah,

You just turned 28 months old and have not yet been a part of our family for two years (that milestone will happen later in August).  I am amazed at the changes that have occurred over this time and am so happy that you are my son.  I watch you change daily and am amazed at the transformation of you from young toddler to a near pre-schooler.  I don’t even want to think about you going to school. Wow.  You are growing up to fast. 

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The biggest change this month has been the addition of your baby sister.  I have to admit your dad and I were slightly worried about how you would react to your baby sister.  We are so thrilled at your immediate and all encompassing love you have for her already.  She is the first person you ask about in the morning and if your can’t see her you often cry and want to see her now.  It is very cute.  You forget that she is a baby but you are polite enough to ask “Mommy, Woah (you can’t say the “n” sound yet) push Zoë.” And when I say no, you actually listen.  I love that about you, among so many other things.  You say please and thank you and bless you and sorry.  I am pretty sure you are one of the most polite toddlers I know and I have to pat myself on the back for that, as I worked really hard to teach you how to be kind and polite. 

Noah you are growing up so quick.  You have stopped calling Nemo–“Bobo” and I miss that so much.  He is now “Bemo” because you can’t make the “n” sound.  You are now obsessed with the movie Monsters, Inc and I am pretty sure that you will have it memorized soon.  You love cars and water, but hate to be dirty.  It is the end of the world for you if your hands have any dirt on them.  It is a challenge to keep you one step away from a breakdown–but I do pretty good. 

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You are at the stage where you ask “What’s this?” about everything.  And I mean everything.  We spend, what feels like hours at the spice rack learning our spices.  Curry powder is your favorite currently, but I am sure that will soon change.  As it seems you are changing at the speed of light and each day brings something new. 

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Your sense of fashion is suspect, but that’s okay because you refuse to dress or undress yourself in anyway shape or form.  Your are content to let me pick out everything and do all of the work.  That’s fine by me as I like that you still need me for important things.  I know that will change soon, so I am relishing my authority and importance. You now tell me that you love me and also are quick to let me know exactly what you want.  You are good at saying “No momma–this one” and it better be the right one. 

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You are a performer Noah to the core.  You have never found an audience that you didn’t like and you are a great entertainer.  You are a showman and you know it.  It amazes me what a different little man you warp into when someone comes to the house or we go out.  You are in total showman mode and remind me of a method actor who is constantly playing the part they have been cast in.  You have been cast in the role of comic and you don’t hesitate to eat that role up.  I rue the day you start school, because as a teacher I know kids like you and your teachers will have their hands full and I have a feeling your dad and I will spend a great deal of time getting to know your teachers and trying to find a way keep you out of detention.  Don’t change though Noah.  The world needs people like you.  We need smiles and laughter. 

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I have yet to find an effective way to punish you when you do happen to do something wrong.  I also struggle with punishing you for something that really isn’t anything I would consider a big deal.  I don’t mind minor tantrums–which you have when you are tired and hungry–which are often both my fault. 

I can’t wait to see you change and grow and become more and more of a little boy.  I look forward to having conversations with you and to hear what you have to say.  I know it is more than “What’s this” and “I wuv you mommom.”

Well, I love you too Noah.

Momma

Happy Mother’s Day M.A.

Another year has passed and I am more and more grateful for the gift you have given us in Minnow.  I know you would be so proud of the little man he is becoming.  He is talking up a storm and some days I can actually make out a few of the words in the flurry he throws at me. 

I want you to know that I think of you often and talk about you to Minnow.  I know he doesn’t understand now, but someday he will and I want him to know that we love and honor the choice you made.  I know the only way to really honor you is by raising him well, and I can say, “so far so good.”  I hope you know somewhere in your heart that he is loved and cared for.  I wish there was a way to let you know–I send out good thoughts to you always.  I like to believe that on some level we are forever connected and that half a world away you can feel my love for Minnow and for you.

I have been thinking about a ritual to honor you that Minnow can partake in.  I think we will begin to plant flowers in your honor.  Last year I planted tulips for you and sadly this spring wasn’t a good one and they did not come up in their full glory, but they still make me think of you every time I see them. 

I am a mother because of you.  You not only made yourself a mother–and don’t think that because you are not raising your son that you aren’t a mother–but you graciously, courageously and selflessly made me a mother too.  There are not words sufficient to express the gratitude that I hold in my heart for you.  I hope you are well and have found peace with your decision.  Please know that he is so very loved. 

On this day we will say a few words for you and I will tell Minnow the story of the bravest woman in the world–the one who gave Minnow to be our son.  Thank you just seems so insufficient a word but I must say it anyway.

Thank you. 

Love Minnow’s Mom

My Dear Minnow

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Where have you gone? Last night you went to sleep a sweet little one-year-old and woke up this morning a full-fledged two-year old.  Happy Birthday my sweet baby boy.  Well, I guess you aren’t a baby anymore.  You are now officially two.  How fast time flies.  It feels as though only yesterday we were in Ethiopia picking you up and bringing you home.  How much you have changed from that tiny little boy who couldn’t sit up or roll over.  Now you run everywhere you go.  I am pretty sure that you don’t know what walk means–even though you ask to do it all the time. 

You make your dad and me smile every day and your happiness lights up our life beyond explanation.  There is something very special about you Minnow.  You have made me a better person and your spirit lifts me up when I am feeling down.  You are quickly growing into your own person.  You are much more expressive about what you want and what you don’t.  You are happiest when you are the center of attention and you love being around other people.  You say hello to and smile at nearly everyone that you meet. 

Your laugh is absolutely infectious and you laugh constantly.  I have been completely unable to discipline you–I am sure I will pay for that later, but you don’t do things…well let me stop there.  I am usually laughing as you do the things you shouldn’t because you are quite a funny child.  I will have to get better at that or you will have a hard time.  But right now we are having too much fun and there will be endless rules as you get older.  So for now if you want to throw the occasional crayon in delight and karate chop me while we are playing and laughing then have at it son. 

You have changed so much over this last year.  You are outspoken, gregarious and social beyond my own comfort level.  Just yesterday at Borders you walked up to an older lady, sat down next to her and proceeded to “tell” her a story non-stop for nearly 5 minutes.  You get that from me your father says.  I don’t know where you get that from.  I get great joy from seeing the smile on a strangers face as you talk to them and smile.  You have a powerful gift Minnow and I hope to be able to help you foster and develop that gift to change the world. 

You are currently going through a phase now where you don’t really have time to eat.  You are non-stop action.  You run and play and jump and clap and sing and dance and color and ride your bike and play the drums and the harmonica and the guitar and watch a little tv.  Then 15 minutes later you start the circuit all over again.  You keep me on my toes. 

My favorite time of day is just before nap time when we snuggle on the couch.  I love holding you.  I know those moments are fleeting as pretty soon you will be too big to snuggle in mommy’s lap.  I can’t bear to think about that day.  For now, I will enjoy the moments we have. 

Oh, Minnow there is so much more I could say. There is so much more you have done.  But today at the end of your birthday all I can remember is you taking my face in your hands, kissing me and saying “gnite mama.” 

Good Night Minnow.  Happy Second Birthday.  I look forward to many many more.