Life

Every Moment

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

Yesterday, a friend of mine had her world turned completely destroyed.  I use the word friend loosely as we were friends in high school, but ran in different circles and if it wasn’t for Facebook would probably never “talk”.  Regardless of how close we aren’t–she still is someone who matter to me in the sense that we live in a “village.”  I think that is the beauty of social media–it allows us to connect with others and rebuild the village.  Even if the support or friendship is only cursory–it still matters.

Yesterday my friend’s husband was killed in a traffic accident on his regular commute to work.  He swerved to avoid hitting a dead deer in the middle of the lane, lost control and hit a concrete pillar of an overpass.  A senseless tragedy has left this woman and her teen-aged sons completely devastated.

I cried this morning as I read her glorious tribute to the love of her life and the father of her children.  I thought of my own children and my own husband.  I thanked the universe for all of my blessings.  I thanked the universe that I have my husband to hug tonight and wake up to in the morning (even on those days he drives me completely insane) because I don’t know that I could manage the alternative.

So, today I curse the universe for taking away a father, a son, a husband and a best friend, but at the same time thank the universe that I still have mine.

Life is too short and I need to remember to not take any moments for granted.  Because in a blink of an eye they could be gone.

 

Strength And The Individual

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

Okay, I will admit it.  I went to the Madonna concert last night with my best friend–who I’ve known since high school.  It was a great moment to share with my closest and dearest friend.

I have been a fan of Madonna’s since the early 80’s.  I remember her being the first person who illustrated that you could be different and true to  yourself and make it.  I know she wasn’t the first person to do that–but it was the first time I realized it as a young teen.

I later learned from her that it was okay to be who  you were and that not everyone had to like you.  Whatever you think of Madonna it is hard not to respect her hard work (OMG–she is over 50 and in amazing shape) and her focus on being who she is regardless of what anyone else thinks.  It takes a confident and strong woman to do what she wants (staring a show 2 hours late).  She said something at her concert about finding our gifts and sharing them with the world.  She has done that.  As like with any gift–some folks don’t want it.  But giving it anyone because it is what you have to offer is what is is important.

I hope to raise a daughter that strong.

Yield

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

Those signs warn us to slow down. That we should be cautious and take an extra moment. Too often we see this sign or the Yellow light and speed up, often paying little attention to events outside of our immediate destination.

I am guilty of this and it has gotten worse as life’s demands have continued to grow–a demanding and rewarding job, kids activities, a desire to at least attempt to exercise (when will desire automatically manifest into action???).  I find myself exhausted more often than I am content.  I find myself reprimanding my kids more than enjoying them.  I find myself criticizing my husband more than loving our time together.  It’s like being on this fabulous road trip through the south of France in a bus with no windows.  Where it becomes only about the destination and the journey is completely lost.

Most of the time we don’t notice that we are missing things.  Life just gets in the way and before we know it, we are at a destination without any real recollection of how we got there.  Ant that thought makes me sad.

I spent the last 2 days looking though old videos of the kids and it filled my heart with such joy to see them.  I remember many of the moments, but there are others that even though I was physically present for, I completely missed the beauty of them.

It made me realize that time already goes so fast, that it is so important for me to take time to have fun with the kids, my husband and myself.  The stresses of life aren’t going to go away, but I have to make sure that they don’t take over and cover the windows so that I miss all the amazingly beautiful moments that will tell the story of my life.

It’s my life and I certainly don’t want to miss it.  It’s time to pay attention to those yield signs.  They are there for a reason.

Moments

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

There are moments that I wish I could freeze in time.  There are moments that are so precious and important.  Today is the kids last full day of school.  Tomorrow is a half-day with an end of year showcase/assembly.  I can’t believe that another school year is over.

Noah is moving on to FIRST GRADE! OMG.  First grade.  It seems like just yesterday that he was learning to walk and was still saying “Woah” and “Opiopia.”  Now he can read and write.  Now he can problem solve and has given two public “speeches.”  He is confident and knows that kids can do important things.  He is considerate and is showing real signs of emotional development.  He is simply–amazing.  I am constantly surprised by him, his spirit, his kindness, his love, his wit.  He is so excited to be moving to first grade.  I am happy that his entire class will be continuing on with him.  He has made some good friends and is very well-liked.

One of the things that has begun to really stick out is his ability to learn things.  He is so very teachable.  He takes instruction well and picks things up easily.  I have only recently started to notice this.  His gymnastics instructor mentioned this weeks ago and I didn’t pay much attention.  But now he is learning to play golf and he asked to get a golf teacher.  He picks up quickly the instruction of his piano teacher.  He loves to learn things.  I will work hard to ensure that he keeps this love for learning.

Zoë is finishing her first year of preschool.  She is excited to be moving on to the next preschool class.  She can write her name and nearly all of her letters.  She recognizes her letters and she is very interested in reading and wants to learn.  I feel bad, as I haven’t had the time to dedicate to her the time to give her what she needs/wants.  I am making a concerted effort this summer and I am going to make sure that the kids do some academic work with their “nanny” this summer.  And I plan to work with them both this summer.  They want to learn and as a teacher–it would be disheartening to me if I didn’t help them learn and grow.  As a parent, it’s my job.

Zoë has made some amazing friends and she’ll get some new ones next year.  She has a love for live that is unparalleled.  Her spirit is infectious and amazing.  She has grown so much over this school year.  She has learned to navigate relationships and how to express her feelings.  She has also developed into quite a story teller–yes that’s a polite way of saying liar.  She is really good at it.  It is scary.  We are working really hard on getting her to understand that lying is bad, etc.  It is hard.  Any insight would be great.   She loves hard and completely.  She has a huge heart and loves an audience.

Watching the kids grow has thus far been an amazing journey.  I look forward to the next years and seeing them grow and begin to blossom.  Being a parent is the hardest thing I have done, but it also the most amazing thing I have been given the gift to do.

Each moment is precious.

Please Don’t Let Me Ever Be Single Again

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 4 Comments

I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to be single at my age (40–shhhh).  I am so happy to be married (and happily married at that) with two kids who are amazing.  I sometimes forget how lucky I am.

My best friend is about a year older than me and isn’t married and doesn’t have kids.  Both things she wants.  She is beautiful, funny, loyal and smart.  She is a catch–she spent 8 prime years in a relationship that wasn’t a good fit and didn’t end the way it was supposed to.  That relationship ended when she was in her early thirties.  She is career-driven.  She is a doctor and was the head of her department at USC for years–the hours were long and LA is a hard place to meet people.

My best friend met a new guy and needed a wing man last night.  I was telling my husband that I was going to be her wing-man.  He asked me “What does a wing-man do?”

“I haven’t been out in the market since I was 25–how the hell do I know?”

“Well then why are you going?”

“There will be wine drinking and talking.”  Why else would I go out on a night that where I traveled home from Kansas City for a meeting then to a family dinner?  Wine and talking with my best friend.

So, turns out we were going to this “private” club, where it is byob.  So, I bring a nice ($65) bottle of wine and this club provides solo cups.  So, my best friend and I sit and drink our $65 bottle of wine out of solo cups and sit in a room where we are close to, if not, the youngest people in the room, so she could talk to a guy. A guy who worked the door, then left early because his son needed him to.

It’s funny when I say it out loud.  I am so glad that I am not single and I don’t have to worry about signals and how my ass looks in my jeans and what it means when someone does or doesn’t kiss me and how they do it, etc.