Life

She Still Eats Random Food She Finds

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 7 Comments

So, the Mecca of all girlishness, consumerism and future bankruptcy–American Girl–just opened a store up in my fair city.  I never paid much attention to this store before, even as I read/heard countless tales of moms and daughters trekking to the Chicago store for a special shopping trip.

We just started getting the American Girl catalog not too long ago.  Zoë loves looking at the catalog.  I tell her it’s a book so she hasn’t quite thought about it enough to realize that it is a propaganda tool to get girls indoctrinated into over the top consumerism.

I will admit right now that I had no clear idea of just how pricey these dolls are.  One Hundred Fucking Dollars.  For a doll?  Are you kidding me?  My daughter–bless her little heart–still eats random food she finds on the floor (after she blows on it).  I am so not buying her a doll that costs $100 plus dollars.  Then you have to buy the clothes.  The outfits are $28.  These are doll clothes.  Clothes. For. Dolls.

I am not cheap.  I don’t mind spending money–but this seems like such a ridiculous amount of money for a doll.  Am I just wrong?

What do you think?  Would you spend that kind of money on a doll?  Have you?

 

Above Water

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

I feel like I am barely holding my head above water.  I am so busy.  I know stop whining, everyone is busy.  Just the same, this is a different type of busy for me.  My new job is keeping me very busy and the the semester just started and I’m teaching 2 classes–I know, what the hell was I thinking?

I have been traveling a lot for work–it is usually just an overnight trip–but that is still a lot when you have little ones who you usually put to bed and a husband you feel like you never see.  I know its a phase and that things will settle down.  I’ll find a rhythm.  My family will find a rhythm.  We will survive this.  But I am tired.  I am completely unable to relax because the deadlines are pressing.  I joke about my todo list at work and how it is horizontal and everything is a top priority.  I knew when I accepted this job that it would be overwhelming in the beginning.

I just feel like I can’t catch up.  I haven’t been able to find time to work-out, which sucks since my job requires a lot of sitting on my ass staring at my computer.  But, I am lucky.  My husband is amazing and has taken over so many of the things I use to do with ease.  The house might be a little messier and the dishes don’t get done as much, but I can’t complain when I am gone many nights during the week during those hours when I could/should be hanging with my family and my kids.

I haven’t been able to find the balance that I want/need.  I am looking for it, and trying to make all the moments I have with the kids matter.  I am trying not to feel guilty that I am gone so much.

I am trying to keep my head above water.  The kids laughter and smiles help with that.  My husband’s support helps with that.

 

When Reality Sets In

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

I have a real job.  A. REAL. JOB.  It’s been forever since I have had a real job.  I have certainly had my fair share of jobs and decent/fun jobs in my lifetime, but this one is different.  Different than anything I have ever done before.  Different, Overwhelming, Amazing, Intellectual, Creative, Stressful, Scary…I think you get that idea.  This is a 9-5 (well 8-4 in my case) job with limited vacation time and a to do list that might rival Santa’s.

I am planning out what I am responsible for and I will be doing a lot of traveling–only across my state–but it is still travel and will take me away from home on some weekends and at least one night every other week.

I am adjusting to this new work world.  It is very different than work at the university where my schedule was my own and my time off–was somewhat limitless.  I was also super bored and not at all intellectually stimulated or motivated for that job anymore.  I am motivated for this one–but the work is constant and so much of it.  I have had to force myself to separate from the work–because my list doesn’t seem to get any smaller.  I finish one thing and two more things have popped up.  My work is a bit like a gremlin.

I know how fortunate I am to have an amazing job that pays me well in an arena that I am passionate about.

I now have a greater understanding of what life was like for my husband for the past like forever.  It is taking some adjusting to go from work where it has been non-stop working and thinking to home where my little bundles of endless energy clamor for attention and it takes everything in me to not just explode for the want of some solitude and calmness.  My husband laughs.  Sometimes I just want to punch him.

But tonight my boss is taking us all out for a holiday dinner and he decided to close our office on Thursday and Friday this week–which is really nice of him.  I couldn’t ask for a better boss or better co-workers.  I couldn’t be happier with where I have landed in the grand scheme of things.  I am just looking forward to having some things in place and being able to do all that I want.  I’m ready for greatness–if only all this other crap wasn’t in my way .

The Hypocrisy of Murder

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

I am sure that some of you are tired of hearing about Troy Davis.  What a shame that most of us only heard about Troy Davis and his unfortunate case too late.  Sad that some of you are asking–“Who is Troy Davis?” You can read more about his case here.  I know the link is to wikipedia and it’s isn’t always the best source–but this one seems pretty straight forward.

Do I know if Troy Davis was innocent?  No.  Do I know he was guilty?  No.

But I can say that not being able to answer that second question should be enough to stop a man from being murdered.  And that is what the death penalty is–MURDER.  Am I saying that criminals/murders who are so heinous don’t deserve to die?  No, not necessarily.  But I also don’t think that the government should be in the business of murder.  But again, is life in prison any better?  No and our system is barbaric and punitive when it should be rehabilitative–but that is a totally different topic.

I think what angers me the most is the hypocrisy of the both sides in this fight.  The right and the left are flipped on this and then on other sides on the topic of abortion.  I know that that word just touched a nerve in the few of you who read this.  I support a woman’s right to choose.  But just because I support their right to choose doesn’t mean that I agree with it.  Are there exceptions to everything yes–even to capital punishment.  But you can’t preach pro-life and then relish at the taking of a life.  If people espouse that every life is valuable and should be born–then every life is valuable and Troy Davis should still be alive.

I don’t know the difference and how at one point all life is valuable and at another it isn’t.  This idea of an eye-for-an-eye justice isn’t appropriate.  As I try to teach my children that we turn the other cheek–that when someone wrongs you, you walk away-you don’t wrong back.  There will be exceptions to this rule, but how can I teach him that retaliation is not acceptable when our government retaliates.   This, government sanctioned murder, is harder to explain than the individual who commits the original crime.  I can explain that as a person making a bad decision.  But when the government does it–how do I explain that?  How do I explain the people who call for and relish in the murder of someone?  I do I explain that only some life is valuable.

I know this is philosophical and an issue that divides us all.  But the death penalty is murder.  And if the state is going to continue to do it–it needs to do a better job of carrying out justice and justice cannot be carried out if we aren’t certain of someone’s guilt.

How many other murders are in prison for life because they took someone else’s live.  Troy Davis allegedly killed a police man.  Is that police man’s life that much more valuable that we can rationalize killing his alleged murder (without any real evidence).  How many men are in prison for life having killed more than one man?  For justice to be served–it must be carried out fairly.  And there appears to be nothing fair in the murder of Troy Davis.

This needs to move us to do better as a nation.  To do better as a justice system.  To do better.  Sadly, I fear Troy will be forgotten next week as there will be something new–FB’s redesign, that will cloud the airwaves and the status quo will resume.  It makes me sad.

Another Stark Reminder That He Needs To Get Fixed

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

I love my kids to death–both of them.  I am no longer (and haven’t been for a while) sad that I didn’t get to carry them in my womb.  I’m actually totally okay with the whole never been pregnant thing.  Bill and I talk all the time that he should just get fixed.  We have no reason to believe that I would/could ever get pregnant.  BUT.  But, at our age, we know we don’t want to be dealing with any more babies or kids for that matter.  This does not mean that at some future point, we won’t consider adding more children–but right now? So not in the frickin’ cards.

We have lived in our house for 11 years.  There is a family across the street whose residence in the neighborhood predates ours.  This family has 5 boys (I think).  They had twin boys approximately two years after we moved in–so they are close to 9-years-old (I could be totally off on this by two years and they could be 7–but I don’t know).  Anyway–that so isn’t the point of my story.  Their oldest is in college and the other two high school age-ish.

Last weekend we went to the Catholic church’s carnival up the street from our house.  We saw our neighbor, who is sporting what looks like a baby bump–and a sizeable one at that.  WHAT????  I’m pretty sure they are older than we are–late 40’s.  I know that they are Catholic and maybe birth control, etc. is not part of their ideology.  Hey, live and let live.  But WOW.  Was all I could think. Then Holy Shit was my next thought.  I joked that they probably thought they were too old to get pregnant and resumed having sex again, after not having it for fear of…I don’t know–HAVING MORE CHILDREN.  I know I shouldn’t be judgy, and hey I know she loves kids–she runs an in-home daycare.  But I could not imagine for a second–getting pregnant at my age or having even one more child for that matter.

It’s time to make that appointment.