Life

Looking Over Our Shoulder

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

Things are really going well for us–aside from the mounting student loan debt (please it will soon surpass our modest mortgage in size) and the cost of private school.  If you don’t factor in those things, then by all accounts our lives are pretty perfect–oh wait, I am also an awful house keeper and I want so badly to be able to pay someone to following me around and pick up all the crap that seems to swirl around me like the dirt did around Pig Pen from Charlie Brown.  Hubby’s job is finally good–two mergers later and he is content with his position and actually really really excited about where his job is going.  Our kids are growing and developing and are just really awesome kids who are so fun to be around–aside from that occasional 3-year-old just shoot me now please tantrum.

Noah is starting school in 4 weeks.  We leave on our cruise in 5 weeks w/my mom and brothers.  I am working and am happy about working–not as happy about my job as I am actually getting out of the house and to work.  I am teaching part-time still and will be supervising student teachers.  Then end of my Phd program is in sight and while 5 or 6 semesters may seem like a long time–for someone who has been in school consistently since 1994–5 or 6 semesters is really a walk in the park.

So, when is the proverbial shit going to hit the fan?  I don’t necessarily think it will–I am an optimist and pretty happy person.  But I am married to Chicken Little and he spends most of his time thinking the sky is falling.  Hubby is working hard at trying to enjoy life and enjoy the happiness, but he is uncomfortable with it as he isn’t use to feeling happy on a daily basis.  So, he is looking over his shoulder waiting for the first shoe to drop which most certainly will be an indicator of impending apocalypse for us all.

But until then, I am not going to look over my shoulder–because when I do all I see is that my ass still isn’t as small as I’d like to be.

At A Loss

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

on what to post about.  Not there isn’t anything going on in my life. It’s just that I am so busy and have so many different things happening that I have a hard time attempting to process all of it.  I am working and really like it a lot.  The kids love daycare–as I knew they would.  Part of me wishes on some level that they didn’t like it so much, but I know that being home with me these last few months haven’t really been fun for anyone–I was crabby and they needed/wanted more stimulation and interaction.  They get it now and they love it.

Noah is completely potty-trained.  He makes it most nights too w/out going in his pullup.  I am so very excited about this and the money it saves in diapers and the sanity it saves in trying to change a 3-year-olds diaper who doesn’t want it changed.  I have to say everyone was right-when they are ready it is so easy.  So, if you are fighting with your kid about potty-training chances are they aren’t ready.  I know not what you want to hear.  But there it is anyway.

I am teaching a class this summer as well.  That was certainly a last minute addition to my schedule.  I am hoping this means that my supervisor will give me a class or two to teach this fall as the extra money would really come in handy to help cover the cost of living and help pay down some of our living beyond our means that happened in the past.  Fun times.

I miss my moms group.  Now that I am working, I certainly don’t have time to get out much during the week.  I am off on Fridays and the kids are not in daycare that day.  But it just is one of those things that I miss terribly.  Not as much the group activities as I miss the ladies who were my friends.  But it is hard when one goes  back to work and the rest continue to be SAHM.  I miss them.

I have been sick the past few days.  A bit of a virus of some sort.  I haven’t been puking and I am happy for that and am also happy for Imodium A-D.  It has been a live saver. I have been avoiding food for the past 3 days.  I didn’t eat much on Monday and yesterday I ate a little bit, but then my body wasn’t real fond of the fact that I gave it food to process.  So, we’ll see today if I dare to eat.  I’d like to be able to work out but it’s hard when you are sick and haven’t eaten but about 900 calories in just over 2 days.  Makes for not a lot of energy.

Zoë is talking more and more.  She is getting easier to understand–she doesn’t have a lot of really clear words that anyone other than her parents understand, but she is getting there.  She continues to be a bit of a trouble maker.  She got in trouble at daycare yesterday for disrupting naptime–Noah told on her.  He’s really good about keeping track of all the other kids offenses–he often forgets his own.  She is a pistol and hilarious.  I find myself cracking up w/her many times a day.  The boys will have there hands full with this one.  I don’t even want to think about the battles we will have with her as she enters her teenage years.  Oh boy.  I am just goint to enjoy this part of it.

Time to get everyone up to start the day.  Thanks for listening in.  I miss you all too.

A Thin Line

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 7 Comments

As a qualitative researcher, I understand that it is necessary to have my bias exposed on whatever topic I might be researching.  This holds true to this space and my editorializing on topics.  I want my readers–whether you agree or disagree to understand where it is that I am coming from so that we can all see each others’ sides and continue to agree to disagree. 

So, I want to start by saying that I am not a religious person.  I am spiritual and I believe in a higher power of some sort, but I don’t operate from the thinking that God has commanding me or is guiding me to do any of the things that I do.  I take full credit/blame for anything I do–I believe completely in freewill and responsibility for the consequences of that freewill.  I know there are people who believe greatly in God and his power and command of their life and actions.  This is great and I don’t think they are wrong.  That is just not how I interpret the world and others are certainly free to do as they wish.  I know, you are wondering where the hell this is going.  I am getting there. 

I have a friend–I use the word loosely as we use to work together and hang out quite a bit, but we don’t anymore and we see each other only on occasion as we attend the same grad school and we’re friends on facebook–but other than that we aren’t close–I’m not sure she has even met my kids.  She sent a message to all of her facebook friends for current addresses–I didn’t think anything of it as I need to get updated contact info from friends often as people move, etc.  I replied and two days later in the mail I get a newsletter/solicitation from her. 

Her and her husband–who is a minister of some sorts (that is what she says, but I don’t think he is a real minister but who knows–he could be–have relocated to the north part of our city (very poor and really high crime rates) and work with a church as urban missionaries.  I promise not to get started on the topic of missionaries.  I am not a fan of religious missionary work–if you are providing schools or clean water, etc., I can deal with that, but not the whole bringing Jesus to the heathen kind of missionary work.  So, my friend who is a certified art teacher and has spent the last couple of years teaching special education decided she was going to quit her job to go to school full-time and to help with outreach work at the church–art lessons, tutoring, etc. 

Nobel pursuit–except that her husband only works part-time and they now can’t afford to live without the help of friends and family.  Again, freewill at work.  What I have an issue with is being solicited for money/services from a person who has chosen not to work–did I mention she is pregnant and due with their first child in November.  She is giving back to her community–I get that, but at what cost.  Why should I fund her to live in her house when she is more than capable of working and giving back.  I would have much less of a problem “supporting” her if she were going on an aid trip to a developing nation and needed money to support herself over there while she was building a school or a library or a clean water system.  But, I live in the city where she does and while art lessons and tutoring are noble pursuits, the dedication to those programs does not warrant needing to be unemployed by choice and asking others to support you.  It really upsets me. 

I chose to quit my job when I had kids and was it a struggle financially–yes.  Would it have been nice to have others help out?  Sure, but I would never have considered asking anyone to support me so that I could do what I wanted without worry about how I was going to pay for what I needed daily.

Sorry, if I sound like a bitch, but it really ticked me off that–not that she is doing what she is doing, but that she is asking her friends and family to support her.  She isn’t a young kid trying to find her way.  So, what do you think?  Am I being a hard ass?

Making Lemonade…Damnit

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

I thought today would never come.  I thought today would never end. 

It started out awesome–went to the gym, worked out.  It went along fine, had a great morning with my mom’s group.  On the way home something happened.  One of those things that makes you evaluate your life and grab your kids and hold onto them until they scream for you to let them go.  My car broke down–that’s not the life altering part.  I called hubby to come pick us up while we waited for AAA. 

That phone call changed my life…a friend of my husbands and a man who had become a friend of mine, lost their oldest son in a house fire over the weekend.  He was 17 and getting ready to graduate from high school.  He had his whole life ahead of him.  And just like that he doesn’t.  He was an amazing young man and touched the lives of many people.  I am grieving and at a loss of words.  I shed tears for the family and wish we were closer to them.  But, we are as close as we can be in our hearts and thoughts.  We love you Jeff, Kristen, Henry and you too Michael–rest in peace.

Going to new orleans tomorrow–back to posting on Monday

Tuesday Already

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

How fast the time seems to go.  We  had an amazingly busy weekend.  I did engagement photos for a couple whose wedding I am shooting in October–a little nervous about that–but I know it will go well.  And it was such a beautiful day that we went to the zoo afterwards and had a great time. Then a wedding–kids spent the night at grandpa and grandma’s and then Easter, etc. 

Thank you everyone for all the job hunting tips and votes of confidence.  Things are looking up.  I applied for a graduate assistantship this year and while I didn’t get one of those I originally applied for–all the student who held those returned again this year–the associate Dean of the College of Education has recommended me for another assistantship working with charter schools.  I am interviewing for that assistantship next week on Thursday.  I am hopeful–even though it is basically no money, it is the best thing for me in the future.  I don’t know any details about the assistantship but assume it will be a full-time assistantship which requires a 20hr per week commitment and I have to be enrolled in at least 2 classes as a student.  The good thing about assistantships is that they generally will carry through until graduation.  I am still applying for high school positions and a few community college positions that are open, but I want the assistantship.  It will pay for Noah’s school and for Zoë’s day care.  I will also be able to teach a class or two at Flo as well to help make a little extra money.  I am exhausted from the job search process and am hoping it comes to an end soon. 

The semester is quickly coming to an end and I have so much work to do–papers to grade, papers to write, etc.  I should be doing homework right now. 

Here are a few pics of our Easter day.  No, Zoë didn’t have an Easter dress.  We aren’t religious people and don’t attend church, so I saw no need at all for her to get all fancied up in a dress for an afternoon at my grams house.