Noah

Mine, Mine, Mine

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

Noah is a pretty smart kid.  He is also very stubborn and a bit of a know-it-all.  Okay, maybe not a bit.  He gets that from his dad.  Last school year, we had an incident with another student at school who happened to have the same gloves as Noah.  Noah’s were at home, but he saw those Spiderman gloves and it was on.  Those were his and you weren’t going to convince him otherwise.  His teachers loved him that they believed him and the poor other kids was reduced to tears and sadness that Noah had basically “stolen” his gloves.  When I got to school to pick Noah up, I cleared that air and both the teacher and Noah felt bad and apologized to the other kid.  I felt bad, but this is all a learning experience.  I tried really hard from then on to make sure that Noah’s stuff was clearly marked–with either his name or a big N–there weren’t any other kids in his class with a name that started with N.

Can you see where this is going?  Well, I certainly didn’t.  Noah is participating in the summer camp program at his school.  One of the other kids is Nicholas.  Yes an N.  I picked Noah up yesterday and everything was cool.  We got home and Noah innocently asked me:

“Mom, where is my cars backpack?”

“On the chair by the door.”

“Oh.  Sandy was right and I was wrong.”

“About what?”

“Nicholas has the same backpack and I thought it was mine.  I took it from him.”

“What happened?”

“Sandy said it was Nicholas’.  Sophie took it out of his cubby and put it in mine.  I thought it was mine.”

“Why did you think it was yours?  Did it have your name on it?”

“It had an N on it.”

“Nicholas starts with an N too.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

So, I had to show him his back pack and how it had his full name written on it.  When I dropped him off today–the other counselor was there and told me he was so distraught that he was certain it was his (because of the N) and that Nicholas had stolen it from him.  He plans to apologize to Nicholas again today and to remember that if it doesn’t say NOAH then it isn’t his.

Melkam Lidet Little Man

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

Yesterday Noah went to sleep 3 years old and woke up 4 years old today.  4 years ago in Debre Zeyit a 16-year-old girl, scared and alone gave birth to Hojawaka.  She loved him with all of her heart–I know that. I believe that.  We love him for you–you love him through us.  Four means a lot.  When we first picked Noah up in Ethiopia he was gravely ill–looked gravely ill.  He wouldn’t eat.  He was despondent and we didn’t know when we’d be able to bring him home.  If we’d be bringing him home.  It still saddens me to write that.  He was so sick.  But he bounced back beautifully through love.  He is amazing.  I am blessed each day that I am allowed to be his mother.  The one to raise him and nurture him.  I am also sad that his amazing birth mother (where ever she may be) doesn’t get this joy.  To know this amazing boy who will do amazing things.  This day isn’t only about Noah it’s about that scared teenage girl in Ethiopia.  We honor her today as well.

Four.  It is such a big number.  He is so excited to be four.  He has been waiting to be four since September when his best friend Sophie turned four.  Today is the day.  He wanted pumpkin muffins to share with his class. So, I baked late last night.  Tonight we are having a small family dinner at a local pizza place.  All and all it should be a great day.

Dear Noah,

Today you turn 4 (48 months old).  You have changed in so many ways since you were three.  You now can ride a bike (w/training wheels).  You can write your name.  You can spell some important words–you name, friends names, you sister’s name, zoo.  You can read STOP and we can no longer spell B.A.T.H without you whipping off your clothes and running to the bathroom.

You love to entertain and you enjoying attempting to tell a joke–which really are just silly little observances you make up and we are suppose to laugh at.  You are a sensitive boy who likes to please and doesn’t like to disappoint.  You want to be liked and don’t understand people who are mean.  You still won’t eat a vegetable unless it’s Imo’s salad at Grandpa Mikes house or Avocado.

I am in awe of the way you love your sister.  You two have such a special bond.  I hope it keeps growing in strength. You two are best friends.  I promise that at some point you two won’t be sharing a bed.  I do realize that it will be weird when your teenagers.  And because we are sending you to fancy private school–there is no money for therapy so we’ll get Bobo her own bed soon.

You have an affinity for sports–especially those that involve throwing–you have quite the arm on you for a little boy.  You love football, soccer, baseball and bike riding–first Ethiopian Tour de France winner?  Don’t tell your dad–he’s ready to pack you up and move you to England for proper football (soccer training).

These past 3 years and 7 months have been the most amazing years of my life.  To think how far you have come and how far you have to still travel.  I love you little man and am right there with you when you need me.

XOXO,
I love you
Mommy

Now He Thinks He Is Four

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

Yesterday, Noah had his birthday party with his friends–just a mere 10 days before his birthday.  It is difficult planning a birthday party and ideally it would have been next weekend but the venue we had chosen was already booked for the entire weekend–they do 4 birthday parties on Saturday and 3 on Sunday.  It’s a popular place.  But the kids had a blast.  About half of his class was able to attend–his schools is on Spring break this week so many of his friends are out of town.  But it was perfect.  There were 13 kids total and it was the perfect amount for playing.

But now he is “4” and is so excited.  He has been waiting a long time to be 4.  Nearly all of the kids in his class are already 4 and his is one of the last ones.  There is one kids in his class that is younger than him–everyone else 4.  He lobbied hard in November that his birthday should be moved to December as that would be a better month.  March was just too far away.

I just can’t believe that our little man is four–is going to be four in 9 days.  I still remember it like yesterday picking him up in Ethiopia and looking at him just hoping and praying that he would make it–he was so sick and weak.  But our love helped him flourish and look at him now.  He’s amazing.  I couldn’t have dreamed up a more amazing kid. 

While in Louisville, I visited the Louisville Slugger factory and got Noah a real baseball bat–he’s been practicing baseball at home–he’s got a bit of an affinity for hitting and throwing–and he had asked for a real bat.  He was so excited and surprised to get the bat for his birthday. It’s a little big/heavy for him but I wanted to get him one he could grow into and not out off too quickly.

His real birthday is going to be a bit anti-climatic especially since the Easter Bunny comes 4 days after his real birthday.  But he certainly isn’t complaining.

The Curse Of Popularity

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

Certainly not my popularity.  No, Noah is the cursed one.  He is by far one of the most sought after kids in his class to play with/be with.  Please do not mistake this for parental bragging.  Being popular can be very isolating.  As some of the kids are forming these bonds with one or two kids–Noah has a host of kids who want to play with him all the time.  He is being pulled in many directions and he doesn’t seem to get to really spend time with a core friend or two.

His one teacher today talked with me a bit about how she often sees Noah being pulled in several directions and wondered if I had noticed him being stressed out or anxious at home.  I told her not really, but that there was an issue and that Noah didn’t seem to understand why he couldn’t be everyone’s friend.  OMG–already cliques in pre-school.  He has a three different kids who want to play with him often–they are three kids who don’t play together and often as soon as Noah walks in  he is smothered by all three.  The kids all want to be his friend a don’t quite understand that he is everyone’s friend and that because he plays with one doesn’t mean he doesn’t like the other.

“Mom, B says S isn’t my friend.”

“Is that true?”

“No, S said we have to keep it a secret so B doesn’t know”

“You can be everyone’s friend”

“I know by B gets mad when I say I am S’s friend”

How I wish the world was easier for my little man.  Noah negotiates these issues well and splits his time.  I can’t believe I just wrote that my son is splitting his time amongst other 3/4-year-olds.  His teacher assures me that they are keeping an eye on the situation and step in to help when they need to.  Is it sad to wish my son was the shy one and not the one everyone wants to be with.

I don’t know what I’ll do when Zoë starts school.  They both can’t be popular can they?

The Second Playdate And Classroom Politics

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

Last week, both Noah and I had the playdate rite of passage.  I certainly had more anxiety about it than Noah–who just wanted to get together and play with his friends.  A little background on playdate #2.  I love Noah’s school and all the parents are really nice. There is a pretty equal amount of girls and boys in the class and there is a real sense of community.  That said–there are two maybe three students boys in the class that most parents consider to be troublesome–especially the parents of the other boys in class.   These boys are physical and rough and impulsive and at times aggressive and mean.  Parents have had meetings with the teachers and phone calls about what these boys have done, etc.

There were days during the first few weeks of school that Noah didn’t want one of the boys–the biggest bully–to come to school anymore.  It got so bad for Noah that one day Noah bit the boy because he was being mean to him the in the bathroom and not letting him have a turn.  Noah hasn’t had an incident with this boy since then–they seem to get along fine and on some level that worries me and I keep a very close eye on Noah’s behavior to make sure he is not becoming aggressive himself.

One of the other boys is less mean and more impulsive and immature.  He was originally in the 4/5-year-old classroom but was moved to the 3/4 because he just wasn’t mature enough to be in that classroom.  Noah likes this boy as he is imaginative like Noah is and likes to play superheroes.  So, B’s mom called and said her son wanted to have Noah over for a playdate.  I couldn’t say no.  I wanted to, but I thought that all kids deserve friends and that the only way kids who are not socially mature can get that way is to have opportunities to be social.

We arrived and I was nervous.  But B’s mom is awesome and nice.  The playdate was interesting and Noah had fun despite B’s inability to actually engage in real play–there was a lot of side-by-side play and it was so very different than our playdate the day before.  I am happy that we went and it was good for me to see B outside of the classroom environment to see that he really isn’t a bully as much as he is immature and impulsive.  But it amazes me the dividing line that is caused by behaviors of children.

I am too knew to this whole kid in school thing any my son is too young for me to yet be worrying about who his friends are.  He’s only 3.  Has his behavior changed a little bit since school started?  Sure–he’s more verbal (who ever thought that was possible), he can write his name and several others, he can read many letter and now knows some words on site.  Is he a little more physical?  Yes.  Does he talk about things/his toys being dead?  Sure.  But, I don’t know that all of this is bad.  They are opportunities for us to talk about what he is learning and what things mean.

Peer influence isn’t going to ever go away and while I can monitor the peers he’s around outside of school, I certainly can’t while he is in school and I don’t think I want to.  It is important for him to be able to experience all types of situations and to learn–both right and wrong from them.  This is where my job as a parent is uber-important.  I don’t want to control every interaction he has.  Why would anyone?  (Sorry, not trying to sound judgmental–genuinely curious).

I know his school is safe and I know that the world is full of bullies and that he is going to run into them periodically.  Better he learn to deal with them young rather than trying to bite one when he’s in his 20’s.