Parenting

An Addendum

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

Okay, so I have to admit my hubby has a point.  Private school is expensive.  Even with financial aid that we will probably get this year, it will be expensive.  I do have to add that daycare will also be expensive.  I then have to admit that the possibility of getting financial aid for Noah’s second year of school is slim since I will in theory be working fulltime pushing us up higher on the income scale and probably completely out of the financial market.  So, while we could afford his first year I don’t know about the second and I certainly don’t know how we would afford it when Zo is ready to start school.

Hubby pointed out to me that we can’t just think about this first year–we have to think about each year and to consider how we are going to send all of our children to school.  We plan to have four children (we are going to attempt IVF in the fall and then plan to adopt depending on outcome of IVF).  Even if we get financial aid because of the number of children we have can we really afford to send 4 kids to my dream school for the kids at just over $11,000 a year each.  Am I willing to sacrifice vacations and other things to send my kids to this school.  None of these were things I thought about.  I just wanted my kids to have the best education they could.  I need to change my way of thinking.  Maybe I need to give my kids the best education that I can afford.

Hubby thinks we can supplement their education at home and of course we will to some extent, but life will be busy and we won’t have the opportunity to do that as much as I would like.  I know that wanting the best for my kids–in terms of education and other things–is a normal parental desire.  I just don’t know how to reconcile that I maybe can’t give theme the absolute best or at least my impression of what is absolutely best.  I am so conflicted.  I have to accpet that not sending them to this school isn’t a failure on my part.  I can’t go back and think–“If I didn’t spend money on this or that, etc we wouldn’t have other financial obligations preventing us from sending them to this school.”  But I do think about that and I feel bad that I didn’t prepare myself for the cost of private school. 

So, those of you out there in my area–I’m looking for an awesome full day preschool.  Any ideas?

Not Going To Like The 3’s

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

Noah is quickly approaching the age of three and all I can say is “settle the hell down.”  In the last 6 weeks or so my sweet loving child has morphed into a–dare I say–child prone to possession by some other force.  He screams this blood curdling scream at any hint that the “no” I answered with is my final answer.  It is tough to deal with all day long.  To top it off we are attempting to get rid of the binky again.  This will be the third time. 

But on a postive note–he didn’t pee in a diaper all day today.  That’s something.  I know that this is just a phase and by the time he actually turns 3 he wil be a little more in control of himself and feel less frustrated and out of control.  I know that in my mind–but knowing it and dealing with it with a nugget of grace and composure is tough.  Research shows that kids tend to act out more around their half birthdays because of their mental/physical growth and development and they start to feel out of control, etc.  But it is still hard. 

Tomorrow we are going to our first choice in schools for Noah next year.  They are having a winter festival for potential students.  It should be fun.  I started filling out financial aid info–crazy to be filling that out for my not even 3-year-old.  Applications are almost done and one more school to check out.  We are only applying to two schools and we’ll have to see what happens.  I’ll be happy if he is accpeted to either one and I don’t know that I have a preference.  They both certainly have their own pros and cons.  One is less diverse but goes through 8th grade the other only goes through grade 6 but is very very diverse.  Both are amazing and my children would be lucky to go to either–we’ll see who has the best financial aid deal.

Maybe He Does Watch Entirely Too Much TV

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

This isn’t going to be a post about exploration and whether TV is good or bad.  TV has saved my sanity on many occasions.  This post is simply a tiny look into what my son does during the day. 

Walking around the house with a toy car held up to his head like a phone…

“Hello, can you hear me now…can you hear me now?”  He has done this in every room in the house.  It’s pretty cute.  He is constantly entertaining and his comic timing is pretty good. 

Oh, and yeah he’s watching TV right now.

What I Learned On Vacation

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 8 Comments

I just want to preface this by saying that I am extremely grateful for my mother’s generosity and fully appreciate the time my kids got to have with their uncles and my mom.  That being said…

Taking two small children on a 9 day adventure is not my idea of a vacation.  Not in any uncertain terms was it a vacation.  I think part of my problem as well as my husbands was that we had really high expectations for this trip.  We were really excited.  Neither of us fully appreciated what it is to travel with two small children.  I have to say that Noah and Zoë did awesome.  They were perfect on the plane flights all 9 hours of flying on 3 different planes.  But it was exhausting.  Zoë is a spark plug and wanted to be played with the entire time we were on the plane.  She is a busy little girl and loves to play. 

But being away from home is hard.  Especially for little ones who thrive on routines.  Neither napped much on the trip–as we had to drive every where we went.  
I have learned that 5 days is the absolute longest my children can happily be away from home. 
I also learned that it isn’t worth it to lug a pack-n-play for them to sleep is as they will both sleep with us.  unde
I learned that family won’t always step up to help you out.
I learned that neither of my brothers are parent material.
I learned that my son loves the ocean.
I learned that I don’t need to pack so much.
I now understand that there really is no vacation from being a parent.
I learned that staying in a resort is the way we will travel from now on.
I understand that I have to make sure the places we vacation are actually kid friendly (St. Maarten–not kid friendly)
I understand that a vacation with kids really isn’t a vacation. 
I learned that you can’t let someone else plan your vacation if you want it to work for you.
I learned that kids shouldn’t board an airplane after 7pm for a flight.
I learned that I love my husband and that he is amazing. 

There are so many other things that this trip taught me.  I am still tired–as I didn’t really get a chance to relax.  I am happy to be home and our new bathroom is amazing.  It still needs a little work–we have drywall to mud and sand, then prime and paint, but everything else is done and it is fricking amazing.  I’ll post pics of that when we are done. 

Be Careful What You Wish For

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

Because you just might get it.

I want to take back my statement “I am ready for her to be walking.”  Who do I talk to about that?  Who can rewind time and so that I can take it all back.  I am not ready for the movement.  Zoë has been commando crawling for a couple of weeks.  She wasn’t doing it much, I assume now not because she didn’t want to but because it took her too long.  She has figured out how to solve that problem and now I want my mostly immobile baby back.  Again,  Who. Do. I. Ask. About. That?  Tell me please.

Today my little angel figured out how to crawl and to really crawl.  Well, her crawl is actually quite funny.  She keeps one leg straight and does all the pushing with that leg, but is she ever fast.  She has already tried to go up the stairs and outside.  I can no longer leave her in the play area with her toys and go to the bathroom or do a quick emptying of the dishwasher.  My little girl is on the move and I so want to take it all back.

I have no doubt that she will be walking within the next few weeks.  Maybe the ability to crawl will keep her from trying to walk, but I doubt it.  I have never seen this little girl happier as she goes wherever she wants without needing mom to help her.  She is fast and I can only imagine she will want to explore more and more and more.  I am glad that she is growing and advancing and all that good stuff.  But she isn’t a baby anymore.  I’m not ready for two toddlers yet.

So, if you’re listening.  I am so not ready for Zoë to walk yet.  Maybe I can have this wish too.