Parenting

NOAH!!!

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

We have a name. It was easier than I thought it would be. We had decided early on that we would give the baby a first name and keep his African name as his middle name. I wish I knew who named him though. If I had to guess I would think that the woman who took care of him after his mother abandoned him. But either way, I think it is really important to keep his African name. It really is part of who he is.

Now the pressure game begins. Hubby and I are preparing our 2 minute drill. We have about 3/4 months before travel (I hope) and we have a kitchen to finish remodeling (installing cabinets, countertops, tile floor, and paint), a den to remodel (painting, new ceiling, and hardwood floors to install) and a nursery to finish (sanding drywall mud, prime, paint, and floor to install). Then we have trim work to finish throughout the house. Can it be done?

And on top of all of this, I am preparing for my first child. There is shopping to do, registering to do, showers to have, travel plans to make–decisions to make interms of travel. It is so overwhemling. I can’t stop looking at his beautiful face. He is going to be a heartbreaker. Oh I can’t wait to hold him and smell him and feel him warm my heart. I am so in love with him, it is like he has always been my child and it hasn’t even been 48 hours yet. This is amazing. I can’t even imagine what it will feel like when I see him in person. Oh My Gosh. I….

Like the last kid picked for the team….

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

That is exactly how I feel at this moment. Like Team Motherhood is selecting players and I am the nearly the last kid on the playground to be picked. I watch as others get chosen and I wait and wait. The feelings of inferiority creep up and my self-confidence plumments. Now I know that this really isn’t how it works, and Merrily and Merelene are not looking through the line up of draft picks and putting me aside based on my lack of parental experience. But emotionally I can sympathize with every kid that was ever picked last for the team. I promise that I will teach my children to pick the kid who usually is picked last first once in a while and let those usually picked first wait it out. WAIT–what if it is my kid who is picked last. Oh this parenting thing is going to be hard. Who ever thought I was this emotional and sensitive.

I should take some consolation that referrals are happening and things are moving forward. Another family received a referral of a baby boy. Their dossier was sent out 1/25–the day before mine. I am so happy for all of the families that have received thier referrals and I do not begrudge them a moment of happiness. I am surrounded by players already selected for Team Motherhood. Both of my neighbors are pregnant, my teenage students are consistenly being chosen for the team and here I am waiting to be picked…I am begging team captain–PICK ME PICK ME…I won’t let you down.

Cold Feet

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

It just hit me today, as I was talking to our mechanic who so kindly is charging me $869 to fix my car that I only have one more paycheck coming. WOW. I am “retiring” from teaching to stay home with or child(ren)–whenever they may come. We will only have one income. #%&*()*@^#&^*&^#%…Insane. How will we do it? We have been a two income family for so long and we still struggle. Okay–so we have expensive tastes. Hubby plays golf nearly every weekend. I shop at a high end grocery store. I have a personal trainer. We have some debt (the curse of the middle class). There are some sacrifices we can make. We switched to prepaid cell phones… I know its a small concession, but is one just the same. I will not rehire my personal trainer when my 6 months is up–I will keep my gym membership–it is a must. We plan to scale back our directv–maybe. It is hard to imagine what life will be like.

How do you change so radically in such a short amount of time? I can’t begin to imagine how different everything will be. I know that I will adapt but how will my hubby deal with giving up golf? or lunches out at work? How will I give up protein shakes at the gym and personalized attention?

Okay, now I sound like a whiny little baby. I have slowly been prepping myself. I haven’t had a manicure or a pedicure in nearly a year. I only shop at Old Navy or Target. Shopping is a must, as I continue to lose weight. I love old navy because it is so inexpensive. I know that I might be a little old to shop there (34) but I lived in coastal Southern California for a long time and I have a true California sense of style. Jeans and t-shirts are appropriate for almost every occasion. Anyway. I am sure that I will figure it all out. We are not paupers and hubby makes a pretty living, I just know that so much is going to change and it will be hard. I must learn to be thrifty. Oh what a task that will be…

I refuse to return my latest purchases…I still have one more pay check!

MECCA

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments


Okay, well maybe I am being overly dramatic…But it is the most amazing place ever. I am slightly emabarrassed to admit that I had never been inside of one until today. Sad I know, especially at age 34. But there it is. I thought I would bite the bullet and go and look around. Huge mistake. I spent nearly 2 hours looking at everything that the store had to offer. Oh wow! I am seriously introuble when we do get our referral. There will be not stopping me. It is hard to stop me now. I have tried to contain myself, but it is so hard. This is my first baby–as though I haven’t really said that enough.

Being in that store with all of the pretty things, made me realize that I really haven’t a clue about being a mother. I have spent a lot of time around babies, done lots of baby sitting, but I have absolutely no qualifications to be a mother–okay I am a woman I will give you that. I was looking at pack n’ plays and travel cribs. They say max weight is 30lbs. Well, when does a baby weigh that much? I am so naive and completely unprepared. I know that there are so many questions that it would take me all of the www free bandwidth to ask them all.

To Nest or Not to Nest…

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

That is the question. Okay so that isn’t exactly what Shakespeare wrote, but I am an English teacher with and English degree and I truly think that is what he really meant.

It has begun. I have given myself over completely to my desire and need to prepare for my baby. I am assuming and preparing for a boy. We did not ask for a specific gender, but I need to guess gender, as I want to start acting like I am really pregnant. I am beginning to think that for sanity’s sake I should have specified gender, because then I would know…but I didn’t and I don’t so I am gambling. Maybe in doing this I will tempt fate. Hey I am all about tempting fate. I am a rebel–come and get me.

Unfortunately, our house is no where near ready for nesting. It is a remodeling mine field. I can barely walk from one room to the other without tripping over something. Yet I keep collecting the twigs that will make up my nest. I was bitten by the overwhelming desire to shop again today. I must… I need something to hold on to, even if it is only a three pack of the cutest little gender neutral large onesies. Or the crib set I bought with the cutest lion on it, or the soft as can be fleece blanket. I need something as I am surrounded by pregnant women. Both of my neighbors are pregnant, a fellow grad student friend is pregnant. They are all nesting and preparing and I want to build a nest too…