Noah is on Spring Break this week and while I was able to work from home on Monday and hang with him, I couldn’t yesterday.  He was suppose to go to the babysitter’s with Zoë.  Well, I emailed my hubby mid-morning to remind him of something and he told me he kept the kids home.  My first thought was a bit of irritation–really keeping them home.  I know how it went down.  Noah cried that he didn’t want to go and then Zoë joined in to (and she has him wrapped around his little finger) and so on.  My husband does not deal well with the crying and if they do it long enough he usually gives in–this irritates me because once the crying and whining starts–NO is always the answer from me.  ALWAYS.

Then my irritation quickly turned into amusement.  Because not only did he have to balance work and the kids–I have class on Tuesday nights and wouldn’t be home to save him from his poor decision making until it was about bedtime.  I know it’s hard to make your kids unhappy–but that is so totally what a parent’s job is 3/4 of the time.  I would love to be able to give my kids everything they want and to make life easy and happy all the time.  But that is not reality and to be honest–that isn’t doing them any favors.  I know Noah doesn’t like going to the sitter’s because he is the oldest one there because it is mostly little kids.  He doesn’t have the freedom there that he does at school and I get it, but I’ll be damned if I am going to let him stay home because he doesn’t like it.

I know…maybe that is harsh and I should be more accommodating but I can’t be.  I don’t think that would be good for my son.  Because there will be days he doesn’t want to go to school or work and he’ll have to regardless and I believe that he can understand that now.  I also don’t want to start to condition him to the idea that he can cry and get his way–I am not about to go down that road and I am going to beat that into my darling husband as well.  Zoë tried it this morning–“Daddy I am going to miss you.” with tears streaming down her little fact.  Oh it just grabs your heart–but then I tell her lets go and she is fine.  She has learned that crying gets her what she wants and that has got to stop.

I am hoping my husband learned his lesson–the kids will not be staying home this summer–at all.  But I still find it a little bit funny.

Being a parent is hard.  I don’t know how those of you with more than two kids do it.  I am stretched as far as I can be stretched and I know it is never enough.  Never enough time for me, my husband, my marriage, my kids, etc.  Just never enough. It was so much easier on many levels when I stayed home and they didn’t have activities and places to be and go.  Because of this “MOM GUILT” that I carry around with me, I try to fix everything for my kids.  I know this isn’t good and I have been working hard on trying to let the kids handle things themselves.  I think it’s important that they learn to mediate and problem solve.

On Sunday, we went to the Magic House for some fun mommy and kid time.   We had a great time, but Noah really struggled a few times with how it all works.  We were in the bubble room and he was waiting in line for one thing and then he came over to see me and when he went back he tried to go to the front of the line and I had to explain to him that isn’t how it works that if you get out of line you have to wait all over again.  Now, could I have made a case to the other family?  Sure, but it’s important for my kids to understand the basic social rules.  Is that weird?

We were in the little kid area–that is for kids 6 and under–I won’t even get started on how many kids were in there running around crazy who were way older than 6.  Noah and Zoë ended up at the sand table and it has lots of shovels and those weird things where you pour the sand in the top and it falls through to spin a wheel, etc.  In the middle there is a funnel that hangs and you can pour sand in to make a design or to pour into one of the weird things (previously described).  There was one boy at the table who was probably 7 or 8 and he was totally hogging the funnel.  Noah kept waiting and waiting and finally Noah asked if he could have a turn and I’ll be damned if that boy look at him with an evil eye and kept his death grip on it.  Noah looked at me and I said loud enough for the mean boy to hear (I know that’s not nice) and hopefully his parents “everyone has to share.”

I told Noah to wait and let him have one more turn then he could have a turn.  So Mean Boy had one more turn and Noah went to take it and the boy yanked it from Noah’s reach.  he looked at me and I said “You have to share.”  Well that didn’t work really, but he bent down to get some sand and his hand came off and Noah snatched it to use.  Noah took his turn and then Mean Boy grabbed it back from Noah.  Noah waits patiently and after Mean Boy has another turn, Noah goes to take it for his turn.  Noah has this turn taking think down and understands that it is wrong not to share (Score for me! or maybe his school experiences).  Mean Boy does not share and will not let go.  I tell him again that he has to share that the toys here are for everyone.  I am trying really hard at this point to not just go up to the boy and grab the thing away from him (Oh how badly I wanted to).  Noah keeps telling him you have to share.  Poor sweet little boy just doesn’t understand that other people don’t follow the rules.

At this point I am telling Noah in as loud of a normal voice as possible, “I know, he just isn’t nice.  Some kids aren’t nice and don’t share.”  I am really hoping his parent is there and will step in and parent their child.  Noah is in tears because he just wants his turn.  My heart is breaking.  Another mother steps in and tells Mean Boy that he has to share and he doesn’t listen to her either.  Finally there is enough commotion and the mother (who is sitting right there across from me) stops her conversation with her mother and tells her boy in a language that isn’t English something) and he shares and says to me in English sorry.

I can only assume her son speaks English, because she does.  It was a tough situation and so hard.  It’s especially hard when you are trying to parent someone else’s child.  This was a good 20 minute ordeal before the mother finally paid attention.  I hate to be critical of parents because parenting is hard, but I know I work hard in public places to make sure my kids are playing nice and sharing and doing what is expected of them.  I don’t hover, but I make sure I’m aware and it sucks when others don’t.