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I just got my copy of Rebecca Woolf’s book Rockabye:From Wild to Child.  I totally recommend it.  I started reading it right away and am having a hard time putting it down.  She is poignant, honest, and witty.  Reading her book is like sitting down with your best girlfriends, a pitcher of margaritas and telling the deepest darkest secrets.  It is a must read.  Check out her blog and buy her book. 

Minnow Has Been Tagged…

It’s been ages since I’ve had a meme around here.  Minnow was tagged by his bud Micah.  So I now give you Minnow….

So here are ten random things about me. 

1.  I am magic.  I know crazy isn’t it.  But I help Mickey Mouse make his clubhouse appear every day.  When I say the magic words (sometimes my mom helps) the clubhouse comes out of the ground.  Can you believe it?  I wonder what other magic I can do?  I’ll have to practice. 

2.  I love dogs.  My dogs–chip doggy and putt doggy–are the best.  Chip doggy lets me crawl all over her and sit on her and everything.  My Grandpa Mike and Grandma Lori have 2 dogs and they are crazy.  They lick me all the time just like I was an ice cream cone and I don’t like that much.  It’s cute a couple times–but their breath is stinky and I don’t lick them so I don’t get it. 

3.  I love to play music.  After listening to lots of music, I have realized that the music people make the music and sing to.  So, now when I play daddy’s guitar, I strum it with the pick (I call it a wee because its fun but mom and dad says its a pick. That is a really dumb and boring name for it, but whatever) then I sing.  I am an awesome singer.  Sometimes I even scream like the rock and roll guys do. I am way cool.  Oh, yeah I can also play the harmonica and the bongo drums.  Ladies, lock up your daughters.  I am almost 2. 

4.  I like drawing.  I don’t like coloring books that much.  The coloring books already have the drawing done and your just suppose to color.  That’s not very creative.  I like to create.  I draw Mommy and Daddy and my doggies and Spongebob.  Sometimes I even have to write my name.  My mom and dad aren’t as smart as I thought they were, as they always have to ask me what I am drawing.  They’ll learn.

5.  KETCHUP.  Ketchup makes everything taste better.   I put ketchup on everything.  Well not everything, just everything on my plate–hot dogs, eggs, potatoes, avocado, strawberries, grapes, pineapple.  I love ketchup. 

6.  I love to be scared.  My mommy jumps out at me from behind the wall sometimes and I scream and then she tickles me and I laugh so much that I sometimes pee in my pants.  It’s good that I wear a diaper. I don’t know what will happen when I don’t wear a diaper.  Um no diaper?  Nah, I like the convenience of a diaper.  Back to being scared.  After mommy does it once.  I make her do it over and over.  I make her chase me around the house until she is tired and then I usually get to watch Mickey Mouse and practice my magic. 

7.  I am a big brother.  I have a sister.  I don’t know what a sister is or even what a big brother is.  But my sister Peepers is in Ethiopia.  I don’t know why, they don’t tell me that.  Or maybe they do.  I don’t always listen.  My mommy and daddy talk a lot.  They tell me my sister Peepers is coming to our house someday.  I like having friends over–I hope she doesn’t stay too long.  Is it a bad sign that my mommy and daddy are making a room for her? 

8.  I am a boy.  I am all boy.  I love to jump off furniture (if there are soft cushions to land on)  I climb up on our window sill behind the couch and hid behind the curtains to try and scare my mommy.  I love to wrestle.  It is fun.  Especially when daddy is not expecting me to come and throw myself on him.  It is awesome.  My favorite thing to do is climb up my daddy’s recliner when he is laying in it and stand on the foot rest and propel myself at him.  It is awesome!

9.  I like to climb.  Now that the weather is getting nice, my mommy has taken me to the park a few times and there are these metal walk ways you can climb up instead of taking the stairs like a little kid.  I tried it once and it was a little scary, but my cool mommy helped me instead of just putting me on the top like another mommy did.  It was scary at the top on the last rung but I did it.  I like doing that.  I did it lots of time and each time my mommy helped me and told me I could do it.  She’s pretty smart that mommy of mine. 

10.  I love girls.  All girls but especially girls that are older than me.  I prefer girls in the 5-8 year-old category.  I like them to have long hair preferably blond. This isn’t to say that I don’t already practice the fine art of flirting with all girls.  But the one that are older but not too old.  I love them.  I hug them and follow them around. Even it I don’t know them.  They seem to play hard to get, but I will keep trying.  One day they’ll be sorry that they didn’t want love from Minnow. 

Well there you have it.  Ten very random things about me.  I could go on an on about things I like,  I have a lot in common with Micah.  I love reading and getting attention, etc.  But I had to pick ten.  Thanks for stopping by and reading about me for a change.  Leave lots of comments about how awesome I am and maybe mommy will write more about me and less about school, politics and other stuff that isn’t exciting to a almost 2 year old. 

Thanks.  I am off to help Mickey with his clubhouse. 

MIA

I feel as though I have been MIA from the blog world for a while–not posting enough here and certainly not keeping up with my faves.  My life has been a bit crazy and confusing, and frustrating, and exhausting.  I have so many things that I want/need to blog about–I just haven’t found the time or energy to sit down and formualte my thoughts.  I will try to do so in the coming days. 

Right now I have uncontrollable PMS and feel like ripping out my ovaries (who certainly don’t do me any reproductive good) and shoving them down someone’s throat–no one inparticular. 

Really? These Road All Lead To Me.

Immitation is the greatest form of flattery.  I have been wanting to do this for a very long time.  Lara over at Life: The Ongoing Education does a post every week where she posts and humorously comments on the key phrases people have searched for and ended up on her site.  Every time I read her Google-age posts, I always want to look at my stats and see what some of the totally off the wall key phrases have landed people here at my website.  Well, I have finally done it.  Here are just some of the totally hilarious and obscure.  I don’t know how some of these led to me and how deep into the search results one had to scroll through to be brought to my site.  I apologize in advance for not being as funny as Lara is.  Enjoy. 

ewan mcgregor mongolia orphanage–Well this would certainly explain a lot. 

i am exciting— Really? You are a bit full of yourself aren’t you.  Sometimes I am and other times not so much.   

random but sharp–I know lots of grad student that this describes.  What were you looking for? 

hear and see everything the ugliest woman in the world does–Is there a camera in here that I am not aware of?  I really hope I get a percentage of those proceeds. 

i don t like socializing–Is that why you are reading my blog? 

obsession cures–Get a new one.  At least it will cure the first one. 

when can a person plead the 5th–At almost any time really.  What did you do?

mama juice and milk in ethiopia–I am sorry that I don’t even know what to say about this one.  Mama Juice sounds like a new Nelly song–maybe the sequel to “Pimp Juice” 

oldest genes–gene hackman is pretty 0ld–gene autry too (but he is dead–old but dead).

imperfect woman–Aren’t we all perfect? 

doctor poop–I think you might be able to find this on ebay or that is the most unfortunate name for a doctor ever.  Unless he’s a proctologist, then it’s brilliant. 

preteens pleasuring themselves–If you are a preteen–don’t worry you won’t go blind.  If  you are a 50-year-old man.  Get the hell off the internet. 

i havent pooped in two weeks–Maybe dr. poop could help you–see above. 

reincarnation and dream announcements–I have always wanted to sent out a notice every time I am reborn.  But I never remember who I was until it’s too late. 

help for pms bitchiness–Ben and Jerry.

mama giving head–Mama has obligations.  Don’t judge. 

stoneface game oral and stoneface sex game–Kids don’t play this game it so isn’t cool.  Parents don’t play this game it would be setting a bad examples for the kiddos. 

zoe sofoulis cannibaleye–Someone’s name?  I just don’t even know where to begin with this one. 

promiscuous preteen–I was not promiscuous until I was a full fledged teen and I will  not be blogging about that. 

minnow teathing remedy–Do minnows even have teath?  What is a teath? 

What is a strange way someone has found you?