School

Well Hell…

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

I don’t even know where to begin, other than to say I should be studying and reading about Writing Across the Curriculum until my eyes bleed and brain explodes since I have a literature review due in one week and we are leaving for vacation on Monday and the paper is a minimum of 10 pages.  I have thus far read 23 articles of varying length (4-25 pages each) and have about 10 more to read, plus I have 3-4 books to overview (skim) to also include in the review.  This task is one that has kept me from blogging recently.  That and the immense guilt I feel when I am doing something completely unrelated to the task at hand.

But, did I mention we are going on vacation?  A real family vacation.  As in just us four.  I am looking forward to it.  We are going to Orlando and are staying most of our stay at the Nick Hotel.  I am looking forward to a vacation and Noah is looking forward to Disney World.  Yes, I know he is too young (not even 3 yet–but he’s super close to it).  But that is the beauty of it.  We don’t have to pay for either of the kids because they are under 3 and Bill’s never been to Disney World.  He grew up in LA and has been to Disney Land, but this will be a new experience for him.  And to get to see it through their eyes will be awesome.

What else is going on over here?  I have been applying like crazy for jobs.  Interviews will probably start in April for the most part.  The application deadline for many of them was this week and then they will most likely weed out people and then interviews should start.  I did interview twice with one district and they will be calling folks back at the end of the month for third interviews at the building level.  I am just not looking forward to this whole process.  I am going to a teacher job fair on Friday after work and it’s just pure torture.  But I am still more than ever ready to go back to work.  So, we’ll see what happens.  It’ll all work out the way it should.  I hope.

Tomorrow is the day that acceptance letters are mailed out by the two schools that we applied to for Noah.  I am nervous and excited to see where he was accepted and to see what our financial aid award might be.  This is harder than when I was waiting to see if I got into college when I finally decided to go back.  I will certainly be posting here when I know for sure.

Oh, and as far as bad mother of the year goes.  I forgot to lock the screen door–Noah has become quite the escape artist.  He likes to go outside and come back in.  So we were all playing in the backroom today–he and Zoë were chasing each other and I was the ending spot in the backroom.  They ran back and forth a few times and then they stayed up front–which isn’t odd as there are toys everywhere in this house.  I was petting the dogs and could hear Zoë screaching and laughing.  Then another minute or two goes by and I hear the door open.  I run up front and Noah is yelling proudly “I’m back” and I am thinking Back, where the hell did you go and how did I not know? He proceeds to tell me that “The nice man helped me open the door to come back in.”  Needless to say I flip out.  I yell a little at him–because I am so mad at myself for leaving the door unlocked.  I am freaking out that I had no idea he was outside and that some “man” helped him.  It turned out that man was our neighbor who has kids and one of them is Noah’s age, but still.  It could have gone so wrong and I would have no one to blame but myself.

It really is/was one of those moments that you question  yourself.  I would never forgive myself if anything had happened to him.  I am still a little shaken up and I cried with him. He just doesn’t understand and how could I expect him to.  He is not yet 3.  So, let me just say it wasn’t one of my finer moments.  But he is safe and sound and the doors are locked.

A brief year of exercise update–I have made it to the gym everyday this month except for 3 days (in a row) because I had hurt my lower back.  But I am pretty impressed with myself so far.  Oh and where we are staying in Orlando has a gym. I’ll be working out there too.

So It Begins Again

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

School is back in swing.  This semester I am not just a student.  I am also an instructor.  I took last semester off to spend more time with the kids–well mostly with Zoë.  I missed teaching but was happy to just have family and my own studies to focus on.  Now I am back multi-tasking when it comes to school.  Hubby and I have been together over 12 years and I have been a student the entire time–aside from one year that I took off after I got my first full-time teaching job.  He has been patient and I am so lucky to have such a supportive husband because it is hard.  School takes up a lot of time and requires me to be gone quite a few hours each week.  I love you hubby. 

I am teaching a course that I haven’t taught before.  I am excited about teaching it because it’s an advanced composition course, but I have the added issue that the class only meets one time a week for 2 1/2 hours.  This is nice becasue I only have to be gone one day a week and I have an awesome aunt who was laid off and has offered to babysit on Fridays until she gets another job.  I have been working hard on creating a syllabus and brushing up on teaching argument and critical analysis.  I am use to teaching the developmental course and this class is an entirely different beast.  It will require much longer hours in terms of preparation and grading. 

I had my first class last night as a student.  I am excited about the class as it an advanced educational research design.  This course is where I first start to think about my dissertation research and create a proposal.  I have a great deal of literature to review and synthesize.  It makes me realize how close I actually am to finishing my course work and sitting for comps is just around the corner.  Holy Shit.

An Addendum

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

Okay, so I have to admit my hubby has a point.  Private school is expensive.  Even with financial aid that we will probably get this year, it will be expensive.  I do have to add that daycare will also be expensive.  I then have to admit that the possibility of getting financial aid for Noah’s second year of school is slim since I will in theory be working fulltime pushing us up higher on the income scale and probably completely out of the financial market.  So, while we could afford his first year I don’t know about the second and I certainly don’t know how we would afford it when Zo is ready to start school.

Hubby pointed out to me that we can’t just think about this first year–we have to think about each year and to consider how we are going to send all of our children to school.  We plan to have four children (we are going to attempt IVF in the fall and then plan to adopt depending on outcome of IVF).  Even if we get financial aid because of the number of children we have can we really afford to send 4 kids to my dream school for the kids at just over $11,000 a year each.  Am I willing to sacrifice vacations and other things to send my kids to this school.  None of these were things I thought about.  I just wanted my kids to have the best education they could.  I need to change my way of thinking.  Maybe I need to give my kids the best education that I can afford.

Hubby thinks we can supplement their education at home and of course we will to some extent, but life will be busy and we won’t have the opportunity to do that as much as I would like.  I know that wanting the best for my kids–in terms of education and other things–is a normal parental desire.  I just don’t know how to reconcile that I maybe can’t give theme the absolute best or at least my impression of what is absolutely best.  I am so conflicted.  I have to accpet that not sending them to this school isn’t a failure on my part.  I can’t go back and think–“If I didn’t spend money on this or that, etc we wouldn’t have other financial obligations preventing us from sending them to this school.”  But I do think about that and I feel bad that I didn’t prepare myself for the cost of private school. 

So, those of you out there in my area–I’m looking for an awesome full day preschool.  Any ideas?

Back To The Drawing Board

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

In terms of choosing a school for the kids.  Hubby doesn’t feel like we fit in at my choice of school and I don’t know if it has something to do with the people, his lack of desire for being social, or the financial sacrifices it would entail.  I am a bit devestated and am not sure what to do yet or where to turn.  I was set.  We toured he liked it.  Now he doesn’t–we went to their winter festival/open house today and had a lot of fun. 

Men can be so frickin frustrating….

I Am Drowning

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 4 Comments

end of semester maddness with projects–very very very big projects. pictures to proof and get to clients yesterday. EOR work to finish (love you ladies and sorry I’m not keeping up).  I am trying hard to keep my head above water.  it should all be better come monday at 7:30 after I have presented my final project that is going to kill me.  no time for capitalization or spell check.  getting PhD might just kill me.  two kids who go non-stop with out the ability to sit still or allow mommy to do anything.  i use to be able to work while Zo napped or while Noah napped but those days are at an end.  i am non-stop playing and entertaining children from 7:30 am until 9:00pm when they are both finally in bed and asleep.  doesn’t leave a lot of time to get anything done.  sorry to all of those who are waiting for me to get stuff finished. it’s coming.

Back in a few days