I am finished with the final draft of my 21 page action research project. I have read it. Re-read it. Changed it. Re-read it. Changed it. Re-read it. Spell checked and proof read it. I am done with it. I am now nearly blind and I think I am physically stuck in my chair and at my laptop. I will go to bed now and celebrate tomorrow while turning the paper in.
We will return to our regularly scheduled blogging tomorrow. I have totally missed you all.
I love the weekend. I love the weekend because Hubby is home and I get a little repreive from 24/7 parenting. I get to do school work to my content (yes I am a total dork and love going to school–is it any wonder I’m working towards a doctorate). I get to go to the gym when I want to not when I have to in order to fit it into a usually busy schedule. The weekends are awesome–even though they really aren’t that different than my other days of the week.
I am applying for a graduate research assistant position for next year. I am nervous that I will get it and that they won’t even want to interview me. I am nervous I will get it because for those of you who haven’t been following along, we are getting ready to bring home a new baby in June. I am also nervous that I will get it and will be expected to do real-world academic work. It will be awesome for me as I hope to get a job at a University on completion of my doctorate. But then there is the whole–childcare issues, etc. But it isn’t a full-time job (approx 20 hours) and there is a stipend for tuition and some pay involved. So, we’ll see.
I am nervous about not getting called for an interview, because I really really want a job in academia. I would love not to be teaching as an adjunct at the community college. I would love the research experience and the close work with an esteemed compositionist. I have had her as a professor and I think that my status as a doctoral student will help me, but who knows. I hate these moments when my insecurities kick in and make me feel unworthy of all that I have done. As though, I am an impostor and at any moment I will be found out. I know its crazy, but real nonetheless–even if only in my own mind.
Well, I am going to enjoy the fleeting moments of my weekend, before it’s Monday and I have to get back to being all things to all people. I love it when I only have to be me–even though those moments become fewer and farther between.
How do you manage to balance only having to be you with all the other hats you wear?
Busy painting Peepers new room and the stairs and the upstairs hall–as carpet is coming Tuesday. Busy procrastinating the writing of a research proposal for class and reading a chapter on gender and literacy. Also procrastinating on life. Busy drinking a delicious SF Vanilla Capp at Panera and waiting for inspiration to strike.
So muses of academia where ever you are lurking please come and strike. I need you.
Well first off let me say…why didn’t I think about totally playing dumb about getting the email homework? Really? There were only about 6 or so of us who prepared something official for the class while everyone else lied through their weasley little teeth about not getting the email…LIARS!
I am not really happy with my self-portrait I created, but you know I had nothing at 2 pm yesterday and I had to have it done and be ready to leave my house by 4:45. It is what it is and I think it give a quick snapshot into my life. I certainly could have added in more pictures of Minnow. I mean I now have over 5000 of them. Yes you saw that right. I also just got two new lenses for my camera so you know there will be more.
I have deduced from my sharp detective skills that there are two families ahead of us waiting for a baby girl (there could be one more, but I don’t think so…Becky correct me if I am wrong). That is so very exciting. I keep thinking, if only I had gotten that paperwork done a little faster. But it is only in jest, as I know that the child that was meant to be ours will be. Minnow is a great testament to the power of fate.
A commenter (Hiya Jess) asked a very good question about how I am going to lose this weight. Well, I am doing it the old fashioned way. I am watching what I eat and exercising. I have tried lots of different diets, etc and have been successful in the short term. I finally decided that I needed something long term and I needed something that worked for me. As, I posted a while ago, I signed up at myfooddiary.com. It rocks. I put in my goal weight (140 lbs) and what I weigh now (a whole hell of a lot more than 140) and it calculates for you how many calories you can eat to lose 2lbs and 1.5lbs a week (this is customizable). It calculates fat/carb/protein/fiber/sodium/calcium/vitA&C/and iron. It is great. I have PCOS and I really should (but don’t) watch my carb intake. This really helps me see what I am eating, exactly. I think weight watchers is a great program and I used it previously at one point, but I am not a program girl and I finally have to admit that programs like that don’t work for me.
Oh and Minnow was up last night with a stomach bug. I was puked on not once, not twice, not even three times–yes ladies and gentlemen I was graciously puked on 4 times in the span of two hours by my little baby who only wanted “mamammamaaa ” (yeah he really says it like this) to hold him. He woke up feeling great today and didn’t stop eating all day. He is a resilient little guy.
Happy Wednesday!
Embracing Imperfection 