Societial Issues

Who Decides Value?

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

I have to say that for the most part, on a societal level, that the popular media drives our values.  During the CBS evening news there was a story/tribute to Dino De Laurentiis. I feel for his family and their loss, but really–I don’t care.  Why do we put people up on a pedestal.  It’s not like he cured cancer or invented the car.  He made movies.  How has that become so important to warrant a 3 minute segment on the National news?  This is certainly not the only instance of this, but it is really starting to get to me as my children get older and more aware.  It just seems backwards to me that we revere people who play sports, sing, act/make movies.  What about revering the real heros?  Doctors, Public Defenders, Firemen, Policemen, Teachers, Nurses, and Veterans are just a few of the true heroes on our worlds.  They are the ones who should be honored on the evening news and who we should strive to be like.

Part of this says a lot about what our society values and explains why our educational system is as bad as it is.  Every job in our society that is seen as “great” requires little to no education.  Sorry, but it’s true.  Not that our professional athletes don’t get educations at college (as these days most get them) but they aren’t famous or paid millions because they got a college degree and you don’t see many of them out there telling kids how important education is.  Now, I know that we as parents have our role in teaching our children what is important and I’ll make sure that my kids have the values that I do and that education is the most important thing one gets in life.  But what about all those kids whose parents don’t have the time–because they are working.  Or the kids whose parents didn’t get and education and don’t understand the importance?  When we put people up on a pedestal and value what they do, it should be for the right reason.  Is the guy who produces a movie any more important in our world than the guy who runs the line at the facility making school bus engines?  We don’t celebrate that guy–we turn our nose up at that guy because his job isn’t glamorous.

Is someone who acts in a movie or sings for a living more important than the man who runs into a burning building to save a stranger or the lady who stops the guy from breaking into your house while you sleep?  But who do we want to be?  Who do we give more coverage and time too?  Is the guy who scores the winning touchdown more important than the teacher who helps someone learn how to inquire?

Who do you value and why?  It’s time we start valuing what is real and worthy.  Who has the greatest impact on our world?  The actress making 10 million dollars for  3 months of work or the ER doctor who saves your life who makes 70k a year?  I know how I’d answer that, how would you?

Today, In My Car, I Cried

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

I was listening to Dan Savage on Tell Me More on NPR talk about his project-It does get better project on youtube

I cried for the families who have lost children who felt that as  teens nothing in life was worth living for.  I cried for the parents who try to help their children but don’t know how and can’t get in.  I cried for a society that values one group over another.  I cried for the regret they dead carry into the afterlife.  I cried for my children who will experience discrimination that I cannot even pretend to understand.

I cried tears of joy that I was not a statistic.  I had a dark period in high school that stemmed from a date rape incident (at the time way back in the 80’s this wasn’t a term).  I was alone and put on a brave front, but inside I was slowly dying. I didn’t think I could talk to my parents, I didn’t know what to say to my friends or how to say it.  I didn’t want to be whispered about.  I turned to alcohol and dangerous sexual encounters to try to fill the whole that was my self-esteem and self-worth.  I was lost.  I wrote dark (and bad) poetry about death and not wanting to live.  I shared that and I had a friend who helped me.  I don’t remember any more what she said to me, but I know it took death off the table.

I was certainly not fixed or whole at this point, but I knew in that moment that even if I didn’t know how to value or love myself, someone else did.  That is what got me through.  You can’t fix the despair, heartache, loneliness or self-hatred that someone feels, but you can show them they are lovable and valued.  Sometimes that is enough.  It does get better. Not right away and sometimes not for a long time. It took me nearly 13 years to recover from my date rape incident and I still don’t love myself as much as I could.  I still don’t have the confidence in myself the way I should.  But it is better.

Today, in my car, I cried.  Tears of sadness, love and hope.  I have hope.

Senseless Tragedy

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

This is a heavy heartfelt post.  If you want something light–stop reading.

Over the last few weeks, there has been media attention on the suicides of 5 gay teens.  My heart breaks for them in death and for those left to stare at empty rooms, where hopes and dreams will rot.  I have a brother who this could have been.  Why do some kids feel hopeless and other feel empowered.  I don’t  know the story of the lives of these young boys who saw only darkness a head of them.  I do know my brothers story.  I also know that my brother, in high school, lost friends in these same senseless ways.  I imagine what helped my brother the most was his inner circle.  He had a great group of friends who didn’t judge.  Having a group/place is so important as students are developing their identity.  At this stage of development teens are pulling away from their families (which is why what other kids say is more influential in their choices than what their parents say) and towards age group relationships.  Family acceptance and support is certainly important, but not nearly as important or as devastating as rejection from their peer groups.

Bullying is an epidemic in our society.  We only have to look to the way the adults in our society act (especially within our political rhetoric) to see where teens come to this us and them mentality.  Our media and opposing views are constantly belittling the other side, talking about how wrong they are, etc.  The issues of homosexuality is at the forefront of this barrage as the right vehemently opposed gay marriage, etc.  The propaganda that is presented in the media in soundbites is what we see going on in our schools.  The mud that is flung from side to side has trickled its way down into our schools (we see the same thing with sex in our society).  The media has power and influence.  It also has a responsibility.  If our adults are going to be attacking those who are different then how can we not expect our kids to do the same?

There is so much I could say and my heart is heavy with sadness.  There are always going to be bullies–at every age.  I am not excusing bullying, but there is a deeper root to these acts of suicide than just bullying.  The difference I see is that these kids didn’t kill themselves because they were bullied, but because they were not accepted by their peers.  Who could they turn to as their friends or confidants about that bullying?  Who accepted them?  Who were their friends who cared about them?  If they felt like they didn’t have those, they feel like they don’t have a reason to live.

We need more support groups in our schools for those who are different.  Every school should have a GLBT alliance chapter in their schools so that these kids have a place to turn for support.  If your child comes out–get them into therapy–not to fix them (they aren’t broken)–but so they have someone to talk to about what happens at school.  Make sure you are aware of what goes on.  Help them foster friendships and encourage it.  Kids need friends and to feel as though they belong.  During the teen years, they need to belong with other their age.  Consider changing schools if your son/daughter is struggling to make friends and belong.

There are no easy answers. Our society if filled with hate and separation.  Kids need to be taught about being different and our media personalities who get so much time in the press need to start acting with common decency. We can have differences without having to attack on another.  It’s time was all accept each other and start the conversation about common human decency.

Waiting For Superman? Don’t Hold Your Breath

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

I might be one of the only folks out there not excited about seeing the movie Waiting for Superman. Am I going to see it?  Absolutely.  I’m a trainer of teachers and an overseer of charter schools. This movies embodies everything that interests me and maddens me in education.  There has been a lot of hype around the movie, even more so since Oprah did a whole show about the movie and charter schools.  I won’t get too involved in that whole brouhaha.  There is another documentary, that came before Waiting for Superman called simply enough The Lottery, that deals with the exact same issues.  It actually does the same thing–it follows kids/families as they compete for “coveted” spots in charter school.  I’m guessing it didn’t garner quite the attention that Waiting for Superman has because of it’s title and famous director.

I will be seeing The Lottery at our states charter school conference in November.  I will wait to see Waiting for Superman until after that.  It isn’t that I place value on one of these movies before the other.  I admit often that our educational system is in a state of emergency and has been for a long time.  Academics and the like have been struggling about how to improve our educational system.  It isn’t as easy as opening charter schools.  I am an advocate of choice–that is why my kids are in private school.  I put them in the best school for them and one that I believe offers the best education.  Would I put them in public school?  Yes, if I felt they could get a great education, I would be happy to not pay tuition.

The problem I have with these two movies and the media in general is that charter schools are being touted as the silver bullet for our educational system woes.  Charter schools are no different than regular public schools in most ways.  For every great charter school there are 15 that are poor performing.  Charters have been lifted up and parents think that by sending their kid to a charter school the education is automatically better.  We have parents lining up to send their kids to charter schools here who are doing no better at educating students than the traditional public school they would attend.  I am for innovation (which is what charter schools are suppose to be) but I am tired of seeing charter schools open who look no different than a traditional public school.  Every kid in the US deserves to get the kind of education I am paying 5 figures to get for my kids.  I fully believe that.  But how do we make that happen?  We have to start by changing education.  Changing our view of it.  Changing the way we deliver it.  Our world has changed vastly, but students still attend schools that were build in the early 1900’s.  Buildings that don’t have computers, etc. Teachers and administrators who are ineffective and poorly trained.

One of the answers is better administrators.  I have friends who are administrators and some of them are amazing.  I have other friends who are administrators and most certainly should not be.  I have lots and lots for friends who are teachers and many of them should be and are effective or are working hard at developing the skills that will help them be effective (teaching isn’t something we learn overnight and we need better teacher prep programs that allow new teachers to develop their skills with a truly amazing mentor teacher).  We need better teacher education programs.  We need better teacher evaluation systems.  We need to re-evaluate the practice of tenure.  We need administrators who are effective and who can encourage teachers and inspire teachers.  We need measures of success that are relevant to our students lives.  The list goes on and on.  Firing all the bad teachers is one answer–but many teachers who are deemed “bad” could be good or great with some targeted and practical professional development that happens over the course of a year and not in a two hour block at the end of a school week.  There are no easy answers.

Charter schools are not the answer, they might be a part of the answer.  Trying to replicate a suburban upper-middle class school in an urban center isn’t the answer.  There is no one-size fits all approach.  We need to look at education with new eyes and redefine what it is our children need to be successful in the world.

Sorry Superman, I can’t wait for you.

Shocked

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

Every 9 1/2 minutes someone contracts HIV/AIDS.  1 in 5 people don’t know they have HIV/AIDS.  That is 20% of those infected.  How is this even possible?  We have been working as a country to fight HIV/AIDS in Africa (and we should–please don’t get me wrong) yet have done little as a nation to wage the battle here at home.  Pres. Obama just unveiled a National Plan to fight HIV/AIDS here in the US.  In 2010.  I can’t even believe it has taken this long.  I am at a loss for words.