Unexpected Trip

I’m going to Denver tomorrow with my baby brother who is running his first ultra-marathon (31 miles).  He had been planning to go by himself and I felt really bad.  I wanted to be able to go and support him but am already going out of town next weekend with my bff and we don’t really have the disposable income we use to when I was employed and didn’t have any children.  My brother and I have had a bit of a rough time lately–I got really mad at him for something that wasn’t really that big of a deal and I went a little off the handle.  We talked about it and admitted the hurt that both of us felt, so for me to say I was shocked when he came by yesterday to tell me that he would pay for my trip if I still wanted to come and cheer him on and support him. 

It meant so much to me.  Hubby of course was awesome about the whole thing and is going to work from home tomorrow so that I can go.  I will be gone only 26 hours, but I am looking forward to being there for my brother and am happy that he would want me to be there for him.  So tomorrow afternoon I leave and I come back Saturday evening.  I have tons of school work to do before Monday and Wednesday but family is more important. 

I haven’t been to Denver before, but I certainly don’t think that I will get to see much of it this trip.  My bro’s run is a loop so I won’t have to travel too much so cheer him on and this should allow me to get some school work done while he is running.  I can’t imagine running 31 miles.  He is training for a 100-mile ultra-marathon that he is doing in August.  He is running a 61-mile ultra-marathon in Wisconsin in June.  He is absolutely insane, I think.  But I love him and I am happy that I get to be there for him. 

I’ll post some beautiful pics from my quick trip when I return.  Wish my bro good luck. 

Peek-A-Boo

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I know I have been sporadic in my posting at best.  Well, I am here now.  So, let’s chat.  Things here at Che Dalai Mama have been busy and crazy.  This past weekend, we had a dinner party on Friday–it went off without a hitch.  It was small only 5 of us, but when you haven’t hosted a real party at your house in about 4 years, you feel a little pressure.  It was nice and fun.  The food turned out great and Minnow was a party animal.  He stayed up partying way past his bed time but did sleep in on Saturday til after 9am.  That was great. 

We had carpet installed last week as well in our upstairs.  We have lived in our house for nearly 8 years now and the floor covering upstairs was circa 1950 and falling apart.  When we first moved in the house, we didn’t use the upstairs at all, except for storage of all the crap that I refuse to throw away because “someday I might need it.”  We eventually turned on room into a guest room (for my MIL who comes for a week every year)–using a beautifully ugly berber area rung in the mustard variety of colors.  Chic Chic–I know!  Once, Minnow was due to arrive we had to clean out another room and upstairs to make it fit for a child.  That sadly, left us with one room left to pile all of my junk in.  Now, with Peepers’ impending homecoming we needed that other room.  We moved Minnow into what was the guest room and cleaned out the office–code for room with all my crap in it–and turned that into the guest room for this past Christmas when my MIL was visiting and it will now become Minnow’s big boy room and Peepers will move into her room.  The original nursery is now a playroom.  I know could it be more confusing?  Hubby is often perplexed by my convoluted overly complicated plans. 

So, we needed carpet.  We thought of doing Pergo–as that is what is in the playroom.  But would have been too much work for us to accomplish prior to Peepers coming home or by the time she goes to college.  We also felt that carpet is a better choice for a bedroom.  Minnow love his “car Pot.”  He thinks it is two words with the emphasis on Pot.  Its pretty cute.  So, to make a short story longer we got carpet and before we got carpet we had to paint.  I spent a lot of time painting prior to carpet installation.  So, we can now use nearly our whole house.  It is amazing how much bigger a house feels when you add on 3 rooms you can actually use.

Then there was easter.  Minnow had his first Easter egg hunt.  Personally, I don’t know why they call them hunts.  It is really more of an Easter egg dash and boy are they fast–it must have been over in about 2 minutes–3 tops.  Minnow did okay–he got a few eggs.  He got really mad while we were waiting for the hunt to start.  He didn’t quite understand why he couldn’t go and get the eggs as we waited.  We had to hold him back by both arms and he was not happy.  He got to sit on the Easter bunny’s lap. 

We then colored Easter eggs on Saturday night.  If it were up to Minnow all of the eggs would have been brown.  He did get to make one brown egg (had to put it in all the colors). 

Minnow enjoyed Easter.  He got a basket–he had to find it.  He got tons of gifts at my Grandma’s house from my aunts and uncles and his grandpa and grandma.  It was crazy how much stuff he got–especially since his birthday party is this weekend.  I cannot believe that my little baby is going to be two.  Off to put the little one down for a nap and to try and get caught up on my school work. 

Impatience + Winter Blahs = Eating

Well yesterday was day number 252 that we have been waiting for a referral.  I really thought that we would have our referral already.  I am sad that we don’t.  Really sad.  I know that we should be hearing soon.  But I just don’t know what soon is.  Our agency director is back and I thought for sure we would have heard already about our referral.  It makes me slightly anxious to be waiting and knowing that it is forth coming. 

I am slowly getting frustrated at the wait.  I know it is no ones fault.  There is no one to blame that we are having to wait but my feelings are what they are.  I then in turn feel guilty that I am waiting for a child to be given up by their birth parent(s).  That I am hoping for this to happen.  How messed up is that?  I mean really.  Adoption is for more difficult emotionally once you start really thinking about it than I can imagine pregnancy to be.  I can only add to my family because another family cannot stay together.  That is so sad. 

To the birthmother of my little daughter (an my already adopted son), I am so sorry for the tragedy in your life that has made you choose adoption.  I can only imagine how hard the choice was for you.  It is a brave choice.  It is a choice that I wish didn’t have to be made. Please know that your child will be loved and will be reminded of his beginnings and will be taught to honor you through our own example of honoring you.  You have given us the greatest gift anyone could give another person.  You have given us the gift of life.  We will be forever grateful for this gift.  There are no words to properly express our feelings for you.  But know that we love you and will teach and encourage our children to love you as well. 

To compound on these feelings of frustration and sadness the come with the adoption process, winter is kicking my ass.  I am so very tired of winter.  It was snowing again this morning–just flurries and they are gone now–but it is cloudy and cold again.  This winter has been hard because not only has it been cold but it has been without sunshine for a great majority of the time.  I don’t mind the cold, but what I can’t stand is the cold and the cloudy. I am having some serious winter blues.  I am so ready for spring.  I am thinking that I just might go back to San Diego until the sun decides to take up residence here again. 

To make matters worse, I am getting a bit of a cold–so I don’t have the energy or drive to work out and when I am feeling down–well I eat.  I eat cookies, brownies, bread…all the shit that makes me feel bloated and like crap.  So, I feel worse but I can’t seem to stop myself, because I am too sad and frustrated to care.  OMG.  Just let me have some sunshine and my referral already….

Dogs, Beads and Big Bird

What a fun-filled, action-packed day Minnow and I had today.  The festivites started with Minnow waking up at 4:45 am ready to go for the day…well at least ready to go until 6:30am when he fell fast asleep in the middle of playing with his legos.  This is the weekend before the big Mardi Gras celebration in our city and the weekend before the Mardi Gras weekend is the Mardi Gras dog parade.  Yes, I did say dog parade.  Upwards of 8000 dogs attend with their owners and then there are thousand more of us watching the dogs prance around in their costumes (yes the dogs dress up) and watch the wiener dog derby.  People throw beads and drink and reveal in a pre-Mardi Gras warm up.  Minnow had a blast and it wasn’t long before he was screaming for beads and clapping for the dogs and handing our high fives. 

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He was tuckered out after all of his Mardi Gras Partying and needed to be rested for Sesame Street Live. 

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Minnow had an absolute blast and now Mommy is tired and wants to go to bed.   Childhood is awesome and being a parent is even better.