I am really tired of the focus on women who are mothers and who work. Why? Well, I was watching Good Morning America yesterday morning and Diane Sawyer was sitting with the 16 women senators. That is great and I think the bigger focus was on the historical implications of finally having a group of women in the senate–of course it still is not nearly a true “representation” of our society–as all of the women were white and in reality there are more women as part of our population than men. That is a topic for a different post.

What bothers me is that our society is still so focused on Women and that their main role is that of mother and wife, above and beyond everything else. Just this morning Nancy Pelosi was characterized as Mother and Speaker…when was the last time your heard President Bush characterized as Father and President? Ummm. NEVER. I am not trying to minimize the importance of the mother. That is not what I want. When is society going to accept that this isn’t the 50’s anymore and that men too are fathers and bare a great deal of the responsibility of raising their children. That is why this bothers me. I am a mother and a mother first. My husband is a father and a father first, but the focus on what he does is his work outside of the home. As women, we must reject the labeling and the emphasis on us. Why? Because it is time for society to realize and accept that it takes both parents to raise our children–whether it is two dads or two moms, etc. It is no longer odd that mothers–I mean women–work. Women have been working outside of the home for a long time now. Sure, not as long as men have been, but it is time for society to accept this fact.

Women–who are mothers and wives work. Men–who are fathers and husbands work. This is not new. Men have always been absent from the home sphere and that is somehow accepted. But women must constantly be reminded that they have dual roles. “Now remember you are not only a CEO but your a mom too. How do you do it?” Somehow it is selfish if a woman wants to work. I believe a child benefits from having a parent at home with them when they are young. But, I also plan to go back to work when my kids start school. Does that mean I will not be there to raise my kids? Because my husband works does that mean that he is not raising his children? When was the last time a man was asked how he achieved a balance between his home life and his corporate/political life?

Nothing keeps me busier than my little busy body. Here are a few pics of the little one.

Here he is trying on a new shoe–he wore it for about 30 minutes. Look at the money I will save. A box of kleenex is only about a buck.

The ever elusive first tooth. It has taken me nearly 16 days to get this picture. It’s so cute.

He is very helpful on laundry days–he usually can be seen tossing all the folded clothes off the table and onto the floor.

He absolutely loves music. All music. I can’t keep him away from the piano.

Anne got me thinking about Minnow’s time in Ethiopia and his time with us. Minnow spent 145 days in Ethiopia before being united with us. Twenty of those days were spent with an angel who took care of him and the other 125 was spent being cared for at Wanna. Today is the day that he has been part of our family longer than he was in Ethiopia. This is a milestone of sorts. More for us as his parents than for him. He will unfortunately never remember his time at Wanna nor the first 20 days that a stranger cared for him. He will not remember the love that he received and the pure adoration of many of the nannies who work so hard to help the children we will adopt be loving and happy children. So much has changed over the last 146 days. Our little Minnow has blossomed into a little boy with a personality the makes everyone around him smile. I owe much of that to the women of Wanna who laugh, love, kiss, caress and care for our children while we wait. If you child is at Wanna waiting, know that the place is filled with love and that love can make up for all the material things Wanna lacks. I will forever be grateful to Wanna for they have helped raise my son and have contributed to his beautiful personality.

I wish I had more pictures of Wanna. We do have video. But I regret not taking more pictures. It is an important place in my son’s history and I wish I had thought more about it when we were there.

Minnow is growing up so fast. Now that he is mobile, we are starting to do a lot more with the SAHM’s group that I belong to. We went on our first playdate last week at one of the mom’s houses and today we met up with about 10 other moms and their kids at one of our mall’s indoor play areas. It was awesome. Minnow is such a ham. He loves to be the center of attention. He was playing–as much as a nine month old can–with the other kids. He crawled after him and then they crawled after him. He had such a blast. He didn’t freak out when the bigger kids were running around. He laughed and giggled and kissed and touched, etc. It was great. I love to see him being social. I like how mobile he is and how he compares in size to other kids his age and to those a little older. I hope he stays outgoing and gregarious as I don’t know what I would do with an introvert. I wish I had my camera with me, as there was a funhouse style mirror and Minnow spent a good 15 minutes kissing himself in the reflection. Good to see his self-esteem is intact. I love being a mom and I love being his mom. I have found peace.

I use to curse whatever higher power there is out there because I couldn’t have kids of my own. But I am so very thankful because I cannot imagine not having Minnow. He is the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. Thank you fertility gods. I wouldn’t trade Minnow for anything.

I never really thought about this as I started my new job as a stay at home mom. There is no longer a service I can call and say that I a sick and then a substitute would be sent to my classroom and my students would be at least supervised. There is no service like that for me now. I am not sick enough to take hubby up on his offer to stay home from work, but sick enough to be really tired and feel like crap. Minnow is still teething and fighting his first cold.

On days like this I wish I was here…walking the streets of Paris, eating a crepe from a street vendor and lounging in a cafe eating warmed goat cheese rolled in roasted garlic and drizzled with olive oil.