The New Times (Kigali)

OPINION
October 22, 2006
Mwiti Marete
Kigali

A new war is being waged in Africa, regarding adoptions of African children by Western celebrities. Just last week, American pop diva Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone and her film-maker husband Guy Ritchie were granted an interim adoption of a 13-month-old Malawian
baby, David Banda, for 18 months by a Malawian court.

The Madonna issue has however helped illuminate the adoptions of Third World children by Western celebrities, especially the Hollywood ‘crowd’, which has been going on ‘silently’ for decades. Actress Mia Farrow, now the mother of 14, began adopting mainly
severely mentally and physically handicapped children from poor countries in 1973. A few years ago top-flight actress Angelina Jolie adopted her son, Maddox, from Cambodia, and her daughter Zahara from Ethiopia. Earlier this year, actor Ewan McGregor adopted a Mongolian
child with his wife, while film star Meg Ryan also got her own from China.

Instructively, unlike against colonialism or the Slave Trade that involved force, this ‘war’ is complicated by a mutual agreement between two parties deciding the fate of an ignorant third party whose destiny will be determined by it. I call it a war because we Africans seem to have been ambushed; no one prepared us for this. A previously unknown phenomenon is now the vogue, and more and more gullible parents, guardians and relatives are getting hooked.

It is true that the continent faces an acute problem of Aids orphans. Already there are more than 43 million orphans on the world’s poorest continent, and by 2010, by UN estimates, 18 million
African children will have lost a parent to Aids. Aids has affected many of the people who might have traditionally provided support – like the extended families – forcing many of these children to either end up in orphanages or on the streets. We can’t feed them all. But then, while some see the adoptions as a good thing that would ease the plight of our Aids orphans, I agree with those who fear it could trigger disaster.

“Madonna might have good intentions but we must follow the law to the letter to avoid a situation where criminals with money might take advantage to abuse our children,” reportedly said Maxwell Matewere, Executive Director of child rights group Eye of the Child. The Human Rights Consultative Committee of 67 Malawian organisations threatened to go to court seeking an injunction to halt the adoption process.

True, it could open doors to anyone from anywhere to come grab any black child and take it to the West and do whatever they like with it, without consequences. I also fear that we may end up with ‘quasi- Africans’, brought up in a totally different environment, coming back to their ‘alien’ home only to feel out of place among their own people.

Again, non-Africans may not fully appreciate the African family set- up. They may not realise that many a relative of the adopted child may be spending sleepless nights worrying about their child -despite all the assurances that the latter is “safe”. An African child can only be safe at the ancestral home – surrounded by kin and kith.

Although it is said the boy’s father, Yohane Banda, a 32-year-old farmer, is said to have agreed to the adoption, saying, “What I want is a good life for my child,” you see the kind of customers we’re dealing with when he proudly says: “I am the father of David, who has been adopted. I am very, very happy because as you can see there is poverty in this village and I know he will be very well looked after in America.” As someone rightly pointed out, little does the man know that Madonna moved to Britain more than five years ago and that’s where David is now!

Ignorance and worries aside, a big debate has arisen: whether it’s in an African child’s best interest to be spirited away to the wealthy West. Who is winning here? “Are celebrities doing it for the right reasons and not to make a statement?” media reports quote Pam Wilson of the Johannesburg Child Welfare Society as having asked.

Yet others are concerned about the child’s cultural and individual identities. “International adoptions are not a solution. The answer is supporting the community,” Bill Philbrick, manager of the Atlanta, Georgia-based Hope for the African Children Initiative (HACI), a pan-African effort established in 2000 as a partnership between organizations such as CARE, Save the Children UK and World Vision, reportedly said.

In an open letter to “Madam Madonna”, Eye of the Child, a child rights group in Malawi, urged Madonna to help fund existing programs in Malawi to help vulnerable children. The group also applauded efforts by her charity, Raising Malawi, which aims to set up an orphan care centre.

I totally agree with them. Why is it that there are individuals who have not hidden behind their celebrity status and have been downright genuine with their philanthropy – even without having to adopt African children ‘for the cameras’? David Hewson “Bono”, Bill Gates, former American President Bill Clinton, Prof Jeffery Sachs and Bob Geldof have all been here and done a lot, but they left the children intact.

These are people with ability; why then haven’t they joined the adoption bandwagon? Don’t they have grand homes where adopted African children can grow up? What’s the sense in giving one child in a million an extremely good life as the rest wallow in poverty?

Again, the issue of identity must be taken very seriously. Having grown up in an African village, I was taught the true African values which I doubt I would have got had I grown up elsewhere and then ‘transplanted’ back home. Although Mr Banda claims that Madame Madonna has promised to take David “to know his roots” when he grows older, I wonder whether he’ll have sufficient time to master the roots as well as he should.

Again, from the West do all sorts of tales bizarre to the African originate – racism, drug abuse, same-sex marriages, sex slavery, guns, devil worship … name them. And, like many black Africans, I don’t want David Banda to come back a foreigner. I don’t want returnee David to ever think of taking his then senile father to a nursing home, because that’s what he’ll have been taught to do: I want him to care for him at home.

Much as I wish he gets the best in life, I want David to grow up in Africa – with the necessary help from genuine philanthropists and not fame hunters. On our part as Africans, let us plan our families to ensure we bear the number of children that we can comfortably care for. That way we shall not need to have our children grow up in ‘exile’.

I find this opinion somewhat disturbing. Not because it is questioning the motives of celebrity but because it makes the generalization about African children who are raised in the west. I have worked hard to make friends with people from Africa. I have a good friend who is Nigerian and through her have met some wonderful Ethiopian people. It is our goal to make sure that our Ethiopian Children know their country and understand the cultural differences between their birth country and America. On both sides of this debate, as with any debate, we think our way is better. We are all a litte ethnocentric and think that our values and beliefs are better than those of someone/some place else. I think all of us can and will admit that a child is almost always better off with their birthparents. I say always because there are parents who neglect and abuse their children. I also think that we will all also agree that every child deserves to have a family that loves and takes care of them. I don’t mean takes care of them in the sense that they own a mansion and yacht, but a family that can meet thier most basic needs.

I did not adopt my son because I wanted to save him. I adopted my son because I wanted a family. We cannot have our own children and we know it is our destiny to have a family. So. we two loving parents (not that the number or gender matter) wanted a child (needed a child to be complete) and our son needed and wanted a family. I don’t see and/or understand what the author of the above piece sees wrong with that.

Monday’s are not my favorite day and never really have been. I can’t really say now why I don’t like them as I no longer work outside of the home. Maybe it is because hubby has to go to work, leaving me at home with a child who is not yet mobile, but wants to be so badly that he tells (whines) about it all day.

Sadly, our Cardinals lost last night. I hope to never see Kenny Rogers again pitching to us Cards. Yes, that would mean that we have to win the next 3 in a row. Well, we will be at home, maybe we could swing that. I will be hoping. Minnow will have to don that rally cap again.

Need a laugh? Those of you pop culture afficinados will appreciate this.
It gave me a good laugh.

Have a great Monday.

Here we come Detroit. Maybe being the underdog is a good thing. GO CARDS!!!!!!!!

Wet dog kisses!!!!!!!

I know it is a heavy title for a post. Now that I am home full time and a mom I have a lot more time to be disgusted with our western world. It is election time and oh how I hate election season. I am tired of adds that tell me how “bad” the other guy is for our community, city, state, and/or country. I would like to see adds that tell me honestly–yes I do know that I am talking about politics–what the candidates stand for. I don’t want you candidate one to tell me how bad/wrong/dishonest candidate two is. I want my vote to be informed by what someone stands for. Besides we all know that it almost doesn’t matter who we as constituents elect. Big money and lobbyists really control the government. My Representatives don’t represent me individually and I’m really tired of them telling me they do. So here we are the “greatest” country in the world trying to police the world. There was a time in our history when we were more isolationist and our people were better off. When you take on the worlds problems you must ignore some of your own. We can’t do it all.

I was watching Good Morning America this morning and Diane Sawyer was in North Korea. She was showing the country to us Americans who might not be able to comprehend what it is like behind the communist curtain. Their apartments are small and the children in school don’t know anything of America. Oh My Gosh. They haven’t seen a Tom Cruise Movie. Somehow this is surprising. We have people in our own country who haven’t seen a Tom Cruise movie. We have people in our country who can’t name all 50 states and couldn’t tell you the name of their Representatives who represent them in government. Yet you don’t see Diane Sawyer doing a story on that. People in N. Korea are on average a head shorter than those in S. Korea because of the malnutrition. There isn’t a developed country that doesn’t have malnutrition. We have people in our own country who don’t have a place to live, don’t have a job, and certainly don’t have food to eat. When are we going to ignore the world’s problems and work on our own. We have more folks without health insurance than is reasonable in a developed nation. It wouldn’t be so bad if health care was affordable, but as we all know it isn’t and it will break you if something happens and you’re not insured.

I understand why we are so concerned with N. Korea. Japan is afraid and well since we don’t allow Japan to have a military we feel responsible to defend them. Okay great. So we really aren’t the white knight riding in on a horse to save the damsel in distress. We are doing what we think we need to. And because N. Korea is now nuclear. If they weren’t nuclear we wouldn’t care about them anymore than we care about any other nation that isn’t really a threat to democracy (that was a little tongue in cheek). I am saddened by the selfishness of our country. Yeah, I said it we are selfish. If we weren’t we wouldn’t be waging a war in Iraq we would be in Darfur. We aren’t about doing what is moral. We are about seeing an agenda to fruition. If we really cared we would be waging war in our own country against big business who wants to keep the poor poor. We would be doing something to feed our children and to make sure that all children had a place to live. But really, that doesn’t seem noble enough for us here in America.

I am happy to see GAP, Apple and other companies step up in the latest campaign to do something. Go Bono. The new Red Line products are great. A percentage of the cost of the items will be given to fund AIDS drugs for the whole of Africa. This is great. The AIDS drugs cost the people of Africa’s many nations about .50 a day–it is two pills a day that can keep those affected alive so that they can raise their families. This is too much for nearly all in Africa’s countries–most people don’t make but $100 a year: but come on, how much did you spend on your coffee this morning. We as a nation could easily fund the needed medicine for those in need. But we are spending Billions of dollars a month to bring democracy to a country that didn’t ask for our help. For a country that is not in any way our responsibility. Oh wait. That’s right. We put Saddam in power. We also put the Taliban in power and I don’t even want to get into the issues we have helped create all over South America. Don’t you think we would have learned our lesson by now. We create these democracies, or put particular people in power and think that we can influence and control them. You’d think we’d learn. You’d think we would try to really do something that would leave the world a better place and not just push through our particular political agenda.

Okay, this is a lot longer and more preachy than I was anticipating. I am just frustrated by our ability to truly ignore the real problems in the world and our desire to focus on those things that don’t really improve any thing for the world. Isn’t that really our responsibility as the wealthiest country in the world. Where is our social consciousness? When did we lose it and how do we get it back? Buffet and Gates are doing it? Why can’t we all?