Up For Air

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

or procrastinating if you want to call it that.  I have been MIA lately and so many of my wonderful readers have dropped away.  I can’t blame them, since baby #2 entered the picture, I have had less and less time to think, let alone blog.  I miss it.  I miss all of you–even though over 60% of you are gone.  But, I won’t focus on that.  I didn’t start this blog with the aspirations that I would become widely read and I am lucky for the people I have met and who I now call friend. 

I am sitting at the local bread co. supposedly working on my literature review.  I need to finish it today so that I don’t need to do it on vacation.  We leave tomorrow morning…7:45am.  I can’t wait. 

Noah got into what was my first choice of schools and waitlisted for Bill’s and my mom’s first choice of schools.  I strongly believe  that everything happens for a reason and that he will be really happy at his new school.  And if for some reason he isn’t and we aren’t, we have the other school for next year.  I am happy and it is one less thing for me to worry about. 

Job hunting.  Can I just say that it frickin’ sucks.  I hate job hunting.  Absolutely hate it.  I went to the teacher job fair at my university on Friday.  It went well, other than the waiting in line for hours to get brief face time.  I have a few leads and people seemed impressed with me, so who knows.  I did score an on-site screening interview and did really well.  The lady who interviewed me was ecstatic that I had an MA in English–as those are really hard to come by as most folks choose to get the M.ed.  So, we will see.   Most districts on are spring break this week or next so it will probably be end of the month or April before I hear about more interviews.  UGH.

Okay, I am quickly running out of time away from home.  I. Need. To. Write. My. Paper.  I don’t want to do it.  I haven’t done one before and I am really uncomfortable with it thus far.  I totally understand how my students feel.

Well Hell…

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

I don’t even know where to begin, other than to say I should be studying and reading about Writing Across the Curriculum until my eyes bleed and brain explodes since I have a literature review due in one week and we are leaving for vacation on Monday and the paper is a minimum of 10 pages.  I have thus far read 23 articles of varying length (4-25 pages each) and have about 10 more to read, plus I have 3-4 books to overview (skim) to also include in the review.  This task is one that has kept me from blogging recently.  That and the immense guilt I feel when I am doing something completely unrelated to the task at hand.

But, did I mention we are going on vacation?  A real family vacation.  As in just us four.  I am looking forward to it.  We are going to Orlando and are staying most of our stay at the Nick Hotel.  I am looking forward to a vacation and Noah is looking forward to Disney World.  Yes, I know he is too young (not even 3 yet–but he’s super close to it).  But that is the beauty of it.  We don’t have to pay for either of the kids because they are under 3 and Bill’s never been to Disney World.  He grew up in LA and has been to Disney Land, but this will be a new experience for him.  And to get to see it through their eyes will be awesome.

What else is going on over here?  I have been applying like crazy for jobs.  Interviews will probably start in April for the most part.  The application deadline for many of them was this week and then they will most likely weed out people and then interviews should start.  I did interview twice with one district and they will be calling folks back at the end of the month for third interviews at the building level.  I am just not looking forward to this whole process.  I am going to a teacher job fair on Friday after work and it’s just pure torture.  But I am still more than ever ready to go back to work.  So, we’ll see what happens.  It’ll all work out the way it should.  I hope.

Tomorrow is the day that acceptance letters are mailed out by the two schools that we applied to for Noah.  I am nervous and excited to see where he was accepted and to see what our financial aid award might be.  This is harder than when I was waiting to see if I got into college when I finally decided to go back.  I will certainly be posting here when I know for sure.

Oh, and as far as bad mother of the year goes.  I forgot to lock the screen door–Noah has become quite the escape artist.  He likes to go outside and come back in.  So we were all playing in the backroom today–he and Zoë were chasing each other and I was the ending spot in the backroom.  They ran back and forth a few times and then they stayed up front–which isn’t odd as there are toys everywhere in this house.  I was petting the dogs and could hear Zoë screaching and laughing.  Then another minute or two goes by and I hear the door open.  I run up front and Noah is yelling proudly “I’m back” and I am thinking Back, where the hell did you go and how did I not know? He proceeds to tell me that “The nice man helped me open the door to come back in.”  Needless to say I flip out.  I yell a little at him–because I am so mad at myself for leaving the door unlocked.  I am freaking out that I had no idea he was outside and that some “man” helped him.  It turned out that man was our neighbor who has kids and one of them is Noah’s age, but still.  It could have gone so wrong and I would have no one to blame but myself.

It really is/was one of those moments that you question  yourself.  I would never forgive myself if anything had happened to him.  I am still a little shaken up and I cried with him. He just doesn’t understand and how could I expect him to.  He is not yet 3.  So, let me just say it wasn’t one of my finer moments.  But he is safe and sound and the doors are locked.

A brief year of exercise update–I have made it to the gym everyday this month except for 3 days (in a row) because I had hurt my lower back.  But I am pretty impressed with myself so far.  Oh and where we are staying in Orlando has a gym. I’ll be working out there too.

35-Months-Old

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 4 Comments

Noah, Noah, Noah,

What to say about you this month.  You are almost three and I can’t believe it.  You have grown so much and are becoming such an amazing a little man.  You aren’t potty trained yet–but you are coming along–kinda.  You’ll get it baby if it kills me, you’ll get it–thank goodness for hardwood.

You continue to amaze me with your language.  Your new world this month that flabbergasts me is technique.  You ask me about my “technique” all the time and “what your technique” and “tell me what technique mean again.”  It’s so cute.  I laugh often.

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You are loving school more and more but also beginning to understand that you have some independence.  You are starting to comprehend that you don’t necessarily have to do everything you are asked/told to do.  Your teachers have had to threaten you with “time-out” at school.  They haven’t had to use it, but they have held it over your head.  But you love school and you like to see your friends.  You talk about “big-boy” school as a couple of  your friends from Mom’s Day Out have matriculated to “big-boy” school and you want to know when it’s your turn.  Don’t worry little man, your turn is coming–but you need to be potty trained first…hint, hint.

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It is getting harder to write these letters some months, because I am just so busy with school and work and raising you.  It’s tough and I feel bad that during the day, I don’t give you all the attention you want/deserve.  I hope you will forgive me someday.  I am pretty sure that you will because I am pretty sure all you will remember from this time is all the cool toy Cars you have and how your sister likes to steal them from  you while you are playing with them.

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You still come down into our bed almost every night between the hours of 2am and 4am.  Your dad now sleeps on the outside of the bed and you bug him to help you up into bed.  It’s sweet.  Your father use to hate it when you would come down, but now in the middle of the night or early in the morning he notices you aren’t there and he’s a little sad.  You daddy loves you so much.  It is great for me to see the two of you together.  If you turn out like him, you are doing well.  He’s a great guy.  I think both of you are amazing.

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You still light up every room you walk into and you make friends every where we go.  We went to the zoo one day this past month when it was warm and you made friend with a boy about 5 and you looked at me and said “We walk with them.  I like him.  He’s my buddy.”  It was so cute.  So you all chased each other around and played.  I love watching you and I love how you are not afraid to put yourself out there.  I hope that continues because, sadly in the world we live in there will be people who won’t want  your friendship.  I of course think those people are crazy.

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I count my blessings everyday that I get to be your mother.  It’s an amazing honor and priviledge.  I love you baby.

Mommy

A Tad Bit Under The Weather

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

At least it is gorgeous weather today–just over 60.  It was nice to get outside with the kids and to get some sun on my pale face.  Our days around here have been pretty boring–the kids and I go to the gym in the am, we come home for lunch and naps and hang out.  It was so nice to get out today, even if I don’t feel all that great.  Getting a little bit of a cold.  I’ll survive. 

I weighed myself today at the gym and I am down a total of 7.5 pounds so far this month.  Not so bad considering I didn’t lose any weight in January. It’s amazing what you can do when you are actually honest about what you are eating.  I would have lost a little more, but I refuse to deny myself the occasional treat–hello Ted Drewes.

But I have been attempting to limit my calorie intake to 1460 calories a day.  And I have still been exercising everyday for a minimum of 30 minutes but I usually do 45-60 minutes each day of cardio.  I haven’t been doing any weight training, but will start working out with my personal trainer again in March–probably 2x per week.  That should also help the weight melt off a little faster.  It is nice to have some success–even though I fully agree that 56 days of exercise in a row is a success too. 

Here are a couple of pics of the kiddos together. 

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That Damn Media

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

I have posted about this whole “octo-mom” thing.  I admit I was judgemental.  I’ll say it.  I was and we all have been.  There is a great momversation about it and the whole judging mothers thing that all of us like to do.  It’s natural but really isn’t all that productive.  Rebecca really made me think about it from a different perspective and I appreciate that. 

I blame the media for so much of what is happening.  Again, these are all real people involved and we don’t know what the outcome of this is going to be for those innocent children.  It is awful that they have to have their young life invaded by media speculation and world-wide judgement of their mother.  That just sucks. 

Hubby and I had decided that we were going to do IVF this fall.  All of this media circus surrounding Ms. Suleman and her babies has caused my husband great pause about undergoing IVF.  Part of him thinks we should be happy and feel blessed with the children we have.  I agree to some point.  I know our situation is different as we are infertile and Ms. Suleman was/is not–she is just single and that is something very different.  Our cases are not parallel in any way.  But we have to wonder if there will be a backlash against those of us who do conceive through IVF.  Will it all of a sudden be something we don’t talk about anymore?  That would suck. 

We talked about it and have decided to pursue it–because we want more children and we would like to exhaust all avenues attempting to create a biological child.  We also plan to adopt if we cannot conceive a biological child.  We know what we want and I know it isn’t 8 kids at once (or at all for that matter).  And, I’ll continue to talk about our avenues for creating the family we want.