The Long Haul

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 10 Comments

Things are most defintely NOT getting better in terms of us or Peepers sleeping.  We do the separate bed thing once a week each but it is still very very exhausting and emotionally taxing.  Especially for me.  When I’m tired the emotional strain is at it’s worst.  That is when I sometimes just have to walk away.  I have a hard time dealing with the crying.  I feel like a failure because sometimes I am just unable to soothe and calm her.  I know it’s only been a few weeks since she and I have been physically mother and daughter, but it is hard because for so long I have been attached to her and it will take time for her to get attached to me.  She knows I am her mom and she looks for me if I move, etc.  But I have to try and understand the great amount of change this little person has had in the short 8 months of her life.  And, I have to accept that she just might never be a good sleeper.  (I can’t think about that yet). 

Because I seem to have a memory loss of anything not sunshine and roses from when Minnow was just home, I went back and re-read many of the entries I wrote in his first few months home.  I was delirously tired well into december (four months after he had come home).  I can note that he slept a little better but was still getting up 3 times a night and waking up early everyday for quite some time.  It is just harder now because I have an ACTIVE toddler and am two years older than I was last time.  I am muddling through and Hubby is much more patient with the crying and knows when I am on the edge and he steps in and takes her so that my frazzled nerves can settle down.  I don’t expect to be getting more or better sleep anytime soon.  When in doubt lower your expectations and survive. 

But boy she sure is cute. 

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Separate Beds

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 7 Comments

As many of you know, the past couple of weeks have been short on sleep at this house.  It really sucks when neither mom or dad are getting sleep–makes for a tense and snarky marriage.  This past week, I made hubby sleep in the extra room so that he could get some sleep–as Peepers is still sleeping in our bed (which might be short lived as I have unlocked the secret to getting her to sleep and keeping her asleep–more on this later as to not jinx my awesomeness).  He woke up refreshed and much happier.  Last night I was given the same pleasure of sleeping in the extra room, while hubby was on baby duty.  I have to say it was awesome and I cannot believe that we didn’t think to do it earlier.  It is amazing what one good night of sleep can do for you. 

I am glad that separate beds are not in our future, but in the present they are helping us survive and still love each other and our children. 

How did you make it through the beginning with a new baby. 

My Handyman and Friday Weigh-in

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

We put Peeper’s crib together last night.  We are hoping to start the transition to her sleeping in the crib.  She is eating a lot less at night now so should be ready to sleep on her own soon.  It will take time to transition her and we will start with naps first. 

Anyway to the funny part of my story.  I guess it’s funny in that “paint yourself into a corner” kind of way.  We were putting the crib together and I wasn’t paying a lot of attention to Hubby’s part.  We get done with putting the frame together and I am admiring it, but notice that Hubby is in the middle of the crib.  Now he is a big guy–6’5 250lbs.  He has built himself into the crib.  Now this isn’t the funny part.  The funny part was watching my completely inflexible husband get down on the ground and attempt to crawl out from under the crib.  It was priceless and I wished I had had my camera with me. 

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I didn’t lose any weight this week, but I didn’t gain any either.  Considering I didn’t count my points and didn’t really exercise and certainly didn’t sleep or eat very good, I am so very happy. 

Good-Bye Glory Days

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

For the first time since Minnow has been home (nearly 2 years) he did not transition from asleep in the car to asleep in his crib.  I have spent the past 2 hours trying to get him to go back to sleep.  We are now playing trains and he is showing no signs of being tired.  UGH!!!  He has also completely regressed in terms of using his pacifier.  He has to have it all the time.  Before Peepers came home it was limited to use during sleep.  I knew this could happen, but I am so frustrated by it as I want him to be off of the pacifier all together.  UGH!

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On a brighter note Peepers is up to 14.2lbs up from 12.5lbs last week.  She is eating non-stop as well as pooping non-stop.  I must changed 4 poop diapers a day.  Minnow’s colon was never that active.  She is sleeping a little better–in longer segments and I am feeling much more rested.  I am still a little on edge and quick to irritation and anger, but I am getting it all a little more under control.  

First Outing With Two Kids

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 6 Comments

Let’s just say it could have gone better–but not because of the kids.  The kids were awesome.  Me on the other hand am very obviously operating on a brain that has lost use of much of it’s synapses. 

Leaving the house is an adventure.  It takes a little bit more than 30 minutes to make sure I have everything that I need and to get us all out of the house and buckled into our car seats, etc.  I know I will get better at it the more I do it, but the first few times are going to be tough.  This is certainly not something that I considered when I decided I wanted more than one child.  Yes, I do still want more–might have something to do with the decreased brain function.   

I had to take Peepers to the hospital to have her blood drawn for her full work-up of tests.  I should have known the day was going to go badly when they call me back (they do infants with priority–sorry for all of you waiting longer than us as we quickly went back to registration) and there was once nice older lady training another older lady on the intake system.  What should have taken about 15 minutes ended up taking 45 minutes.  Minnow as so awesome.  I was so impressed with how he held it together since I was ready to jump over the desk and tell the lady the training could wait until they were working with someone who didn’t have two kids with her. 

Alas, we were given our paperwork and headed back to the lab.  They needed blood in 8 vials and I have to say that my little Peepers is just that–LITTLE.  Her veins are little–they had to do both arms to get all that they needed.  It was awful.  Not just because she was screaming and I could see the teenager she will become in that face with clenched fists–saying “I hate you Mom.”  It was heart-wrenching because I couldn’t do anything to stop her screaming–if she would have been able to she would have hauled off and hit me good.  So, I am holding Peepers down while Minnow is crawling between my legs crying because Peepers is crying and he wants me to hold him. 

Peepers was crying so bad that she was sweating as though she had just finished running a marathon.  Poor baby girl. Finally they are done and Peepers stops crying and everything is right with the world.  We stop at the cafe and get a soda and a treat for Minnow since he was so good and at this point we are about 90 minutes past nap-time.   So, we finally get out to my car which is really hot–as I had to park on the roof and my A/C isn’t functioning well at all.  I really need to get that fixed.  Minnow asked to go to McDonald’s.  I told him sure–he was such a trooper.  So we drive in our hot car to McDonald’s, I pull up in the drive-thru and stop to get my wallet.  MY WALLET.  Where is my wallet?  I am freaking out.  I empty the diaper bag–all the while my little Minnow is demanding his cheeseburger.  No wallet to be found.  I must have left it at the cafe at the doctor’s building. 

We drive all the way back, get both of my sleeping kids out of the car and go back-no wallet was found.  We retrace all of our steps, look in trash cans.  At this point, I am getting ready to lose it.  Really, I have lost my wallet?  I can’t believe it.  I have lost a lot of things in my life, but my wallet has never been one of them.  So, back at the car I am resigned to the fact that my wallet is just gone and I am really pissed at myself.  I open the passenger door to put something in the front seat and what do I see lodged between the seat and the floor?  Yes, my wallet.  I was relieved but also felt like a complete ass.  I woke up my kids and spent way too much time in the hot car and all because I am an idiot. 

So, my first outing was a disaster but I have to look on the bright side–the next one can only be better.