Thankful Post Three or Day 21

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

It is very humbling to sit and think about all the things you are thankful for and the reasons why you are thankful for them.  And how much larger some of these things are than my little somewhat insignificant self.  Today my thanks goes a long way–half way around the world from where I sit right now. 

I am thankful for the opportunity to be Minnow’s mom. 

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He is the light of my life.  I was angry for a long time that I was infertile.  Nothing we tried worked (we will attempt IVF this summer/fall).  I felt like a failure as a woman.  It was my job as a woman to bring forth child and I couldn’t.  I won’t get into those feelings as this is a post about thanks.  I now understand why I have been cursed/blessed with infertility.  I was meant/destined to be Minnow’s mom.  I cannot imagine for even a nanosecond another child being mine.  Minnow is a part of me in every way a child is a part of their parent.  I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on him that he was my son.  I loved him instantly and the love has only grown stronger and deeper each moment he is my son.  I am thankful that I could not conceive because if we did we would not have Minnow. 

For those of you who have never met Minnow–which is the majority of you–he is an amazing little boy.  He lights up a room when he enters and his smile is genuine, deep, and embodies his very amazing spirit.  He is strong-willed and loving.  He is special.  He has changed our lives for the better and for that I will be forever grateful. 

I am also grateful to Ethiopia for opening its doors to those of us across the globe who want to desperately to be parents and have chosen adoption or whose only hope of parenthood is adoption.  I am forever grateful to Ethiopia for giving us our son. 

I am thankful (and sad) beyond words that Minnow’s birthmom has allowed for us to raise this child.  I feel so strongly that we were meant to be his parents and because of that I must also feel that Minnow’s mom really had no other choice but to give him up.  I do not know her circumstances but I am no longer guilty at being grateful that she was courageous enough to give Minnow to us.  I think of her often and I hope that she can feel deep in her heart and soul that Minnow is very loved and is a very special boy.  Thank you MA.  We love you and are very grateful for you. 

I am thankful that I am a mom.  I am thankful that being a mom has helped me better understand my parents as well as hubby’s parents.  Parenthood is awesome.  Parenthood cannot be taken for granted as we don’t know how long we have with those we love.  Minnow knows his birth mom loved him–he is so giving of love.  I know this is only because he has been loved since the day he was born–probably even before. 

 Thank you….

Thankful Post Two or Day 20

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

I am so blessed in my life and have so many things to be thankful for–it is hard to separate out each thing.  I am posting today about my husband.  I am so thankful for him and his love and support, his kind and gentle way, and for the husband he is and the father he is becoming. 

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I met my husband over 11 years ago on the heels of the demise of a horribly unhealthy relationship.  Hubby was a breath of fresh air.  He stole my heart on our first “date” and I have never looked back.  That is not to say that our relationship didn’t have ups and downs while we were both figuring things out–like how much we really liked each other and what we really wanted out of live and love.  It took years for us to admit/decide that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.  He has given me so much, that it is hard to write it all here without getting too personal–which I prefer not to do (there are somethings that don’t need to be alive in cyberspace forever).  I am lucky to have found a man who knows his heart and is constantly pushing his own limits–intellectually and spiritually.  He longs to be the best man he can be and in that I am lucky.  He puts me first often and our son always.  He loves my family and welcomes them into our lives all the time–even on days he would rather hang out and not socialize. 

He is a model man and our son could not ask for a better man to teach him and show him how to be a man.  I am thankful that he knows how to cry and express how he feels.  He is the communicator in our family and he asks me to do the difficult task of expressing myself.  I am a closed book and he has figured out how to open me.  I love him for that–as it was not easy.  Thank you hubby for making me better each day and for showing me I deserve to be loved and happy and for giving me hope.  I love you and am thankful everyday that you walked into my bar and didn’t give up on me.  Thank you. 

Thankful Post One or Day 19

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

I am not one who is big on prescriptive holidays.  I try to celebrate the people I love often and without prompting from Hallmark and others.  I know that Thanksgiving isn’t a Hallmark holiday, but it is a holiday that has lost a lot of meaning and has become about turkey, football and pumpkin pie.  I have decided to honor those things I am thankful for all week.  I will post about one thing each day and pay homage to those/that which I am most thankful for.  It is so important to be thankful as we live in a world of vastness, isolation, excess and material pressures. 

I am thankful first and foremost for my family. 

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I have been blessed with two parents who love me intensely and unconditionally and who would move heaven and earth to help me in anyway they can.  They pushed me to the best person, woman, sister, daughter, wife and mom that I can be.  They supported me when I needed support and forced me to stand on my own when I leaned too much.  I am thankful that my parents sacrificed their happiness to keep our family together, so that we as kids didn’t have to endure separate homes and separate families. While I was growing up, I often resented my parents for their unhappiness and often wished they would divorce.  Looking back, I know that they did what was best for us.  They made the best of a bad situation and I think we all benefited from it.  Thank you mom and dad.  Your sacrifice is not forgotten…

I am thankful for my two amazing and wonderful brothers.  They are younger than me by 3 and 4 years.  We were not always close and we have not always seen eye to eye, but they are two of my best friends.  The love I feel for them is unrivaled (except for the love for my son and hubby–but family ties are super strong).  I would do anything for them and I know that they would do anything to help me and each other.  I am lucky to live in the same city as my parents and my baby brother.  The middle brother lives in Chicago–so he is very close.  I am lucky to have a close family and a family that loves so greatly.  To them I am thankful for helping me become who I am today and for allowing me to be such an important and integral piece of their life. 

To my family…I love you. 

Oh Internet It Really Isn’t Your Fault or Day 18

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

Internet Addiction?  Cyberspace Detox?  Really?  We now live in a world where the Internet is as tempting and addictive as alcohol, narcotics, gambling and sex.  WOW.  I am sure here in the US we have issues with this and there are kids and adults whose live are dictated by the Internet.  Hello…I check my email an infinite number of times a day–especially during this who waiting for a referral business.  In South Korea this whole wired world has gotten out of control.   There is now  a boot camp where you can go to break your Internet addiction.  I find this whole idea fascinating. 

Compulsive Internet use has been identified as a mental health issue in other countries, including the United States.

I just have a hard time understanding addiction to things that aren’t alcohol or drugs as these things really screw with your physical body as much as with your mental body.  But addicted to the Internet?  Really.  I enjoy being online and I blog and I read other blogs and I use to play poker online–when I had time–but I’m no able to spend that much time on line because I have other responsibilities.  I am not saying that Compulsive Internet use or Internet addiction isn’t a real thing; I guess I am just happy that I don’t have it.  I can leave you Internet if I want for hours at a time…

The NY Times has an article on it, as do other papers.  I even saw a teaser clip on a news broadcast recently.  One of the kids at the camp–most seem to be teens and young adults who have the biggest problem–said that 17 hours a day online is fine.  I have one questions.  What the hell do you do on the Internet for that long?  I have a hard time finding stuff to do online for a couple of hours.  I read your blogs and some others but that is about it.  What the hell else is there?  I know this is a generational thing.  I am old.  I didn’t have my first email account until I was in my mid 20’s.  That should help place me generationally for all of you younger folks out there who are laughing because there really is so much to do out there in Internet land. 

I fear for my kids that the online world has become so interesting and full of things to do.  When I was a kid we played outside.  I know that there wasn’t the Internet or online gaming–hell there was barely even a video game that you could have at home.  We played sports, cops and robbers, cowboys and indians, charlie’s angels, rode our bikes, and beat each other up.  Good Old-Fashioned fun.  Now kids play fantasy football and have a Second Life.  How did we get here? 

I can say that I will not allow my children to have a computer or even a TV in their room.  I will make sure that it doesn’t get to the point where they are staying up all night filling themselves up with Red Bull so that they can play some game on line and eventually drop dead from exhaustion.  How does it get this bad?  How do we get so out of control?  Technology is great but it also is sucking the life out of us. 

I know I am rambling here.  Maybe I should spend a little more time online perfecting my posts so that they maybe make more sense. 

I spend about 2 hours a day total online (if you add all the little minutes that I check email, etc).  I blog and visit your blogs (many I get in my email).  I research for school which often requires I go online through my University to access our library.  I shop online–this week I bought Christmas Cards (Shutterfly) and I read the NY Times online in the morning. 

Now its your turn…..

How much time do you spend online?  where do you go online and what do you do?  How do you handle the Internet with your kids?  I am curious. 

A Day Sans Minnow or Day 17

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

My awesome dad and bonus mom took Minnow for the day today so that hubby and I could some much needed work done around the house.  It is amazing what you can get done in a day without a little one underfoot constantly wanting to tell you something, give you something, or ask you do something.  I managed to go spinning for an hour, go to the grocery store, clean out the garage, take out a bunch of trash, put things back in the garage and clean out a big part of our basement. 

Now I am exhausted.  Minnow got to go the zoo with grandpa and grandma, go out to eat and bake cookies.  Needless to say we are all tired here at casa dalai mama.  I am going to curl up and watch a movie and then sleep like someone who actually does manual labor for a living.  See you all tomorrow with what I am hoping will turn into a more substantial post.  Until then….