to your toddler that the dog cannot drink out of a sippy cup no matter how many times the cup is shoved in said dogs face? Minnow just follows the dog around shoving his sippy cup in her face saying “juze, juze, JUZE” It is terribly cute.
Middle Schoolers and S-E-X
Middle school kids are sexually active. Some might say that it isn’t the school or the nurses place to make sure that birth control methods are available to our kids ages 11-13. I am not sure what I would say if I were a parent of a kid at this Maine school. The students can only use the “clinic” if there parents have given permission but the parents do not have to give permission for their child to receive contraceptive aids.
I thinkthis is long overdue on many levels and am saddened on entirely different levels. The nurse as a public health advocate and official realistically sees the issue. She knows that at least six of her female students are sexually active. She feels it is her responsibility to make sure that they do not first and foremost get pregnant–the school also offers condoms (but we were all young and know how that works or doesn’t work sometimes). Parents fall on both sides of the coin. Is this the schools place? I don’t know. As a teacher, I see schools being held responsible for more and more things that family, church and community use to be responsible for. Schools are expected to do so much more than simply educate the masses–they have become parents as well. Teachers are expected to counsel, guide, and impart character education on their students on top of the educational goals set forth by the governing body.
Schools are expected to feed kids two of their three meals a day. Schools are responsible for making sure that students show up each day and that they behave in class and treat others kindly. Schools have become so much more than a place where kids come to learn the three R’s. So, on some level how can schools not start to encroach into other areas that are clearly problems for our society.
Kids of all demographics are having sex earlier and earlier. I remember when I was in middle school–I had barely kissed a boy yet with tongue (I was 13 when this first happened). I was in high school when I first had intercourse and was one of the first in my group of friends. No one I knew had sex in junior high/middle school. I don’t know that we all at that age really understood what sex meant. Now kids are having oral sex parties in grade school (5/6th grade). Where the fuck has childhood gone.
I think if anything this type of issue should raise for parents some interesting questions. Why are kids having sex so early? I was too busy being a jock to think much about boys at 11 and even through high school I would have rather been playing soccer than playing at sex games. Sex was private than too. We didn’t have parties where fellatio would be openly performed. There is a game called “Stoneface” or something of that matter where boys will sit around a table and a girl or girls will be underneath the table giving head to a guy or guys (depending on # of girls) and the object of the game is to be able to not give away with your face which one is receiving the oral gratification. I am sorry but this horrifying to me and I was a bit of a promiscuous teen–but I would have never thought to doing anyting for an audience.
This is an issue that stems from our society as a whole. Have we become so desensitized to sex that kids really treat it as a game? Where is the value that is placed on their own self-worth. Sexual promiscuity in pre-teen and teen girls is in many cases an search for something–usually self-worth. I know this from personal experience. How can we get our kids to respect themselves and each other? How can we get parents to talk to their kids early about sex and all sides of it–the good, the bad and the ugly? Are we so afraid of it that we don’t even want our schools to try and help? It is obvious that we need all the help we can get as kids are younger and younger as they begin to search for something.
Where have we failed and what can we do????
New Obsessions
Minnow’s sitter has a Sesame Street Video…Sesame Street–Do The Alpahbet. I knew how much Minnow liked it as the video case is the first thing he goes for at the sitters. We were at Blockbuster this weekend getting movies–which of course we really never have time to watch, but we keep trying. Minnow loves to help pick out movies. He was looking through the family videos with hubby when I hear this shriek from across the store Continue reading
Finally…The Reveal Part Deux
Having chosen international adoption over domestic for the reason detailed in The Reveal we needed to chose a country. This was more difficult than I could have imagined. For a number of reasons, one being that I have a really hard time making up my mind. I always have and I always tend to question why I have made a life-changing decision. We went back and forth for months–we decided to start the adoption process in April of 2005–we decided on Ethiopia in September 2005. It took a long time. I had packets of info from hundreds of agencies in regards to hundreds of programs. Our top choices were, in no particular order Guatemala, Ethiopia, Taiwan, and Nepal.
We wanted to adopt from a country whose culture and history we were interested in. We felt strongly that we should feel some excitement and desire to want to learn about our child’s birth country. That was one of the most important factors for us. We also looked closely at each country and felt strongly about the way the children were cared for. We knew we did want to adopt from a country with huge government run institutionalized care. We wanted to adopt from a country where the children are cared for and raised in smaller settings with more personal care than was offered in those countries with large country run orphanages. Guatemala was a first choice because of the care the children get. They are raised by foster mothers from the time they are relinquished. I also had the option/choice/ability to foster my own child once we were referred a child. That was an appealing option. But we decided against Guatemala as the process was getting a little longer and to be honest it was very costly and I didn’t and still don’t like the fact that nearly all of the money paid was paid to attorneys. Nepal was another choice that was a fit for us. Nepal requires that couples adopting be married 5 years (I think) and be infertile. It was a perfect fit for us. But then there was some turmoil politically in Nepal and there was talk of their adoption program being closed, etc. This was not something we wanted to deal with. We also didn’t want to wait an incredibly long time for a referral. We were looking into how long each country’s process was taking at the point we were deciding as well as cost and governmental factors as all impact the adoption process. This ruled out Taiwan as their wait times were getting to be longer by the day.
This left us with Ethiopia–which ironically had been our first choice when we first started discussing international adoption. But we decided we should look at all of our choices, but we wound up where we started and we knew there was something to that. Hubby and I are both interested in Evolution Theory and have a background in Anthropology–it is what my husband’s degree is in. Ethiopia has such a rich history and not just as an African nation but as a region and as a people. We knew it was a place we wanted to learn more about and a place we would want to visit over and over again. We felt this was important as we want and plan to take our children to their birth country as often as possible once they are old enough to understand and feel their connection to it.
We have one beautiful Ethiopian born son and there is no doubt that he was born to be our son. We are currently waiting for a beautiful Ethiopian born daughter…Adoption is difficult. Infertility sucks. But I am thankful for the infertility and for adoption because those two things together gave me my son. And he is MY SON.
Congratulations Doris….
Doris Lessing won the Nobel Prize for Literature. She is one of my all time favorite authors. I have only read two of her novels and a few shorter pieces but she is an author that speaks to me as a woman. She tackles issues that are embedded in the feminine consciousness. I think she is amazing. Congrats. It is a long time overdue.