for the stomach flu. We are all battling it in some form or another. Be back soon.

Today we met other mom’s from my stay at home mom’s group for a playdate at the local mall. Minnow had a blast
He is already trying to cruise for chicks…

What do you know? With his charm and smile it didn’t take him long to find a girl.

After the girl left, Minnow decided he loved himself so much he doesn’t need a girl.

Exploring the tunnel was how we ended the day. Look at that smile. Is there anything sweeter?

I have been doing a lot of thinking about life lately. My life has changed so drastically in the past year. I have a baby. I no longer work. I am now a mom. I am no longer only a wife. Being a mom is an awesome experience and I wouldn’t change it for the world, but it makes you think about things that you wouldn’t necessarily think about. Time is now really of the essence. We only have a limited amount of time with Minnow before he becomes so independent that he maybe doesn’t want to spend time with us–there will be a time when he will want to be with his friends more than he wants to hang out with mom and dad. This is true in so many aspects. The time for hubby and I to be selfish has passed. It is not longer just about us. We are now a family of three and every decision we make has to be evaluated for how it affects Minnow. Even the process of adding to our family has to be evalutated based on what is good for the three of us. I am new at this. The consideration of others when making a decision. Hubby and I have always made decisions–not huge decision–but decisions nonetheless without always consulting each other–now Minnow must come into the frame for every decision.

Finding a balance is important. I don’t want to lose myself. I have been really good about not losing myself in my marriage as has hubby. I really want to make sure that I maintain my independence but also make sure that I don’t ignore the needs of Minnow. I also have to work harder to make hubby a priority because it would be really easy to forget about him in favor of Minnow. If only I had learned how to juggle.

I am really tired of the focus on women who are mothers and who work. Why? Well, I was watching Good Morning America yesterday morning and Diane Sawyer was sitting with the 16 women senators. That is great and I think the bigger focus was on the historical implications of finally having a group of women in the senate–of course it still is not nearly a true “representation” of our society–as all of the women were white and in reality there are more women as part of our population than men. That is a topic for a different post.

What bothers me is that our society is still so focused on Women and that their main role is that of mother and wife, above and beyond everything else. Just this morning Nancy Pelosi was characterized as Mother and Speaker…when was the last time your heard President Bush characterized as Father and President? Ummm. NEVER. I am not trying to minimize the importance of the mother. That is not what I want. When is society going to accept that this isn’t the 50’s anymore and that men too are fathers and bare a great deal of the responsibility of raising their children. That is why this bothers me. I am a mother and a mother first. My husband is a father and a father first, but the focus on what he does is his work outside of the home. As women, we must reject the labeling and the emphasis on us. Why? Because it is time for society to realize and accept that it takes both parents to raise our children–whether it is two dads or two moms, etc. It is no longer odd that mothers–I mean women–work. Women have been working outside of the home for a long time now. Sure, not as long as men have been, but it is time for society to accept this fact.

Women–who are mothers and wives work. Men–who are fathers and husbands work. This is not new. Men have always been absent from the home sphere and that is somehow accepted. But women must constantly be reminded that they have dual roles. “Now remember you are not only a CEO but your a mom too. How do you do it?” Somehow it is selfish if a woman wants to work. I believe a child benefits from having a parent at home with them when they are young. But, I also plan to go back to work when my kids start school. Does that mean I will not be there to raise my kids? Because my husband works does that mean that he is not raising his children? When was the last time a man was asked how he achieved a balance between his home life and his corporate/political life?