I am so not in the holiday mood and I am not sure why. I have waited for such a long time to have a Christmas with a child. But as I look around the house and the Christmas tree is still without ornaments–we did only get the tree on Sunday and there aren’t any presents under the tree, etc., I am without the holiday spirit. Maybe it is because I finally got on the scale. Maybe it is because I still haven’t gotten hubby anything to open on Christmas. He already got his big present–a new golf club. Maybe it is because I am sleep deprived. No, Minnow is still not sleeping through the night. I am beginning to accept the fact that he just won’t until he is in college maybe. But, as I read in the NY Times this morning, finding the reason for something is sometimes not all that helpful, as it allows us to make excuses for our behavior. I will stop asking why and start doing. Maybe that will get me in the holiday spirit.

Have you ever woke up one day and realized that you have let your dreams go? This is not always bad, but it is a reality. Dreams come and go with life’s changes. Desires wax and wane. I have always dreamt of being an artist of some sort. I can’t paint or draw to save my life. I have tried. I toiled in my parents basement with canvas after canvas and let’s just say–I would not have passed art class. I found an outlet for my creativity early on through writing and later on through photography. I moved to California at a young age to persue my dream of photography. I went to Brooks Institute of Photography, but it wasn’t what I had hoped. As with any professional training there are restrictions on what you can and cannot do. I was stifled by the exercises that would teach me to be a photographer. I also was not ready to be the person I dreamt of being. I was a lost soul trying to find not only my place in the world but myself. I learned that you cannot realize a dream until you know yourself. I have come to a place where I now know myself. I have found my creative center again. I am lucky that I have a model who will pose for me and not worry about how the pictures turn out. I will continue to explore my creative side and will post my photos here on occasion. Thank you for letting me share my dream with you.

I am training for a century–for those of you who don’t know what that is it is a 100 mile bike ride. A marathon for bikers. I have done one previously but that was in September of 2004. I trained minimally for that ride and it wasn’t easy. I did not ride my back after that until just over 2 weeks ago.

I know pathetic, but I was over it and I didn’t have another ride planned. I am a person who needs to be working towards something, I am not going to exercise just to exercise, I need a goal. So, when my best friend called me up a month ago and asked me if I wanted to do the Tour de Palm Springs in February, I said yes. Forget the fact that I live in the Midwest and it is winter, I decided I could train and be ready for the ride. So I bought rollers and I use those freqently–but they are hard to ride and I haven’t been able to do more than about 30 minutes at a time on the rollers. I have been lucky with the weather the past week or so and this past weekend I did two rides–one 13 miles and one 18 miles. These were just warm up rides as it was pretty cold outside, and I hadn’t ridden in just about forever.

Yesterday and the rest of the week it will be in the 60’s and this weather will carry over through the weekend. Hubby worked from home yesterday and I was able to take advantage of the weather. I wanted to do a long ride so I rode 46 miles. I was able to keep up a pretty decent speed (13 mph) given the amount of rolling hills that I swear were always a little long on the up than the down going in both directions. I also did a good portion of my riding on city streets which always requires lots of starting and stopping which is hard especially on the return trip when your muscles are getting a experienceing a little lactic acid build up. Needles to say, my back and arms were a little sore yesterday and my knees a little creaky. No my ass wasn’t sore, it doesn’t get sore anymore when I ride. I am happy that after only 2 other short rides that I was able to do nearly 50 miles, but I now know I would have been in pain in the next 50 if the century was this weekend. Thank goodness it isn’t.

I can’t believe how long it has been since my last post. Things have been so crazy. Minnow is now completely mobile. He is crawling and crusing and of course falling and crying. He no longer has a fondness for baby food. He will tolerate a little, but wants cherrios, cheese, bread, pizza, ice cream, etc. He is pretty good at feeding himself with a spoon, but can’t seem to get his fingers to work the way he wants them too yet. It is amazing how fast he is changing and how opinionated he is becoming. I am so going to have my hands full–well I already have my hands full.

As you can see, he can pull himself up to standing at the coffee table, and then he can knock everything off and he can cruise around the house as long as he has something to lean on. He is every where.

This past Saturday he got to meet Santa and one of his reindeer. He really like the reindeer–I’m pretty certain he just thought it was a funny looking dog.

On a more positive note, the weather here has been relatively mild and I was able to ride outside this weekend–of course I still had to be decked out in full winter bike wear. Long underwear/under armor/cycling jersery/windbreaker/shorts/leg warmers/full gloves/hat/booties/wool socks/and of course helmet. It took a long time to get dressed, but 40 degree is still cold when you are biking. Also, for those of you who think that the midwest is flat should try biking here in my city where everything is up hill from my house in all directions and never really seems to be down hill. I don’t know how ready I will be for the Tour de Palm Springs, but I will finish the ride. I certainly won’t be breaking any records that is for sure. I will get to ride this weekend too as it will be in the high 50’s.

I will try to post with a little more regularity, but this whole motherhood thing is exhausting and no longer can I plop minnow down with a toy and he is happy. I turn and he is pulling over my bike or eating the dogs paws.