Haters Abound

By now, there are very few people on the planet–or at least in the mommy blogger world I often live–who haven’t heard that the Duggars are expecting their 20th child.  The mom is my husbands age.  The idea of a 20th child gives me absolute nightmares.  NIGHTMARES.  I am happy with my two children.  Would I have “had” more if I were younger?  Absolutely.  But I’m not.  I’m 40 and that last thing I want is more little butts to wipe and people in my bed.

But that is me.  That is my choice.  I am slightly irritated by the sheer amount of criticism that has be waged at the Duggars for their choices.  Is it a choice I would make?  No, but it also isn’t my place to judge them.  They seem like perfectly nice (if not slightly insane) people who love their kids and have an amazing family bond.  So, hey.  Produce away.

I also respect their choice to not use birth control and give over the destiny to God.  This is not something I subscribe to.  I’m not religious but I get their faith and appreciate that it is theirs.  They have the means to support their family.  I understand that some of their income comes from the exploitation of their family for TV–but when I watch their show (which is rarely) they seem like a well-adjusted family.  I am not naive to think that everything I see on TV is true, but after all the years they have been on and having all of these kids–I think that if there were some severe issues, we’d have heard already.

This is one of the issues within our community of moms–we are quick to judge the choices of others.  How ever many kids the Duggars have has zero effect on me.  Whether our not someone stays home with their kids or works outside of the home because it has zero effect on me.

So, as you (we/me) sit in judgment of others it is important to understand the negative effect our judgments have on our community of women who should support the right choose.

Choice Matters

I have long espoused that one of the problems I see with our current education system is that it operates as a one size fits all ideology.  This is also the problem with many teacher education programs.  One size fits all is a fallacy.  We all aren’t the same.  Our kids aren’t all the same.  If we were doing our job right–our test scores and students performance would fit perfectly on the bell-curve.  Well, guess what it doesn’t.  We have a huge proportion of our kids who are in the bottom–more than should be.  Will there always be kids at the bottom?  Yes.  Just as there will always be kids at the top and the rest happily spread out in the middle.

Our educational system is bottom heavy in terms performance on a bell-curve.  Especially in our urban schools.  But even in our suburban schools–the system we have doesn’t work for everyone.  We talk about choice and how charters are about choice–I agree they should be about choice and they should be about different.  Schools that try the same thing that other schools have failed at are not offering a choice.  They are offering the idea of a choice.

My kids are in private school.  That is a choice I made.  I looked long and hard for a school that fit my kids and fit what I believe is important as a parent and as an educator.  My kids school is small and we pay a lot of money for their education.  But if you look at per pupil expenditure–they don’t spend much more than the local urban district.  One thing that is different is that my kids school has a mission.  A clear mission and everyone in the building has bought into that mission.  The students are at the center of the mission.

At many public schools, there is no mission.  They are the defacto choice and don’t need a mission to help hold the school together.  I would argue that they do.  There is no reason why every district school has to look like the every other one.  Why can’t districts create schools the have a mission. A mission that guides instruction and choice.  A mission that puts students first.  A mission that parents can understand and use to determine which school to enroll their child.

We have to think outside of the box.  We need to think about how our education can be redesigned to serve our constantly changing population.  Just because I live on x street shouldn’t dictate where my kid goes to school. As a parent, I should get to look at all schools in my district and determine the best fit for my child.  I know that this would pose a problem with transportation, etc.  I get that–but then maybe we don’t need to offer transportation any more.  Maybe we need to think about transportation and other ways to do this effectively so that where someone lives doesn’t dictate the school they have to go to.

I know that in some districts Magnet schools were meant to do this–but many of them are only innovative on the surface and still teach and design coursework the same way as the district does.

This is why I support choice.  I think that when something gets too big the only way to manage it is to streamline and make everything uniform.  So each school and each class is taught the same thing in often the same way and at the same time.  This makes it easy for those who manage the system, but does nothing to develop learning in the staff nor the students.

School districts are too big.  Sure it’s nice to have a central office to handle all the paperwork, etc.  But is the trade off really worth it?  Does it make sense to create huge conglomerate districts. The larger something gets that harder it is to change and who loses out? The little guy.  The little guy in this case is the students.  They are the 99% in education.

This is why charter schools have caught on so greatly.  They are little “districts” and they give parents an option.  They give parents a choice of what type of school they want their kids to attend.  Larger districts could revision their schools and create the autonomy needed to allow for such free-thinking.  Allow each school to determine what is best based on the population who has chosen their school.

We need to not only think outside the box–we need to revision why we have a box in the first place.  Students don’t fit in any box I’ve seen.

Just When You Think People Are Normal

Okay–well normal might be a stretch.  But this whole idea of a “pox party” totally creeps me out and gets me a little mad too.  I know this post is going to be all judgy and well–that is fine.  I’m a parent of two children and I have this venue to allow for me to voice my opinion.  I was shocked this morning when I heard a news story about Pox lollipops via mail order on my local news.  I had to rewind the story twice just to be sure that I was hearing the right thing.  I couldn’t believe what I heard.  Parents are buying lollipops that have been licked by kids who have the chicken pox.  Gross.  Wrong.  Unbelievable.

Chicken pox is an airborne disease.  Airborne.  As in, not through licking an old lollipop.   Who is their right mind would think this was a good idea?  Who else would think that a virus can live on a lollipop as it is mailed to you?  WHO?

It just blows my mind that there are parents who do this.  If you are one of them–I’m sorry for judging you but doesn’t this sound the tiniest bit CRAZY?  I think so.  I understand that there is a portion of the population that is opposed to vaccinations for their children for whatever reason.  I am not one of those people.  I don’t mean to devalue someone else’s thoughts and beliefs.  We all can parent our children the way we want, but I do get upset when someone else’s choices endangers my children.  Anyway, my kids have had their chicken pox vaccine as well as every other vaccine they need.

I get that parents want their kids exposed to chicken pox so that they can get it over with and build their immunity to it.  But isn’t this a little extreme?  This certainly seems more dangerous to me than the vaccine.  And it’s creepy.  I just imagine ever thinking about doing something like this to my own children–making them sick on purpose.  I know that end goal is important but the route to get there is just not okay with me.   What is next–mumps parties and mumps lollipops?  Where does it end?

Best Laid Plans

Today was going to be the day that I get back on the exercise wagon. Today was the day that I was going to make that fresh start.

Today is the day that my husband is sick and has been in bed all day. Today is the day that started an hour earlier than it needed to.

This is the day that wasn’t.

Sugar Failure

I have totally failed with my no added sugar challenge. I feel sick and am boring you readers with this info so that I can have a place to go and remember just how disgusting how feel right at this very moment.

I tend to totally self-sabotage my endeavors related to health. I embrace every challenge in my life with success. My health (aka weight) is the one challenge that has beaten my ass. Every. Single. Time. It is my “white whale.”

Call me Ishmael.