With all the political rhetoric being quite nasty and the memories of 9/11 being broadcast, I am in need of some happy. So, I am simply posting some pictures from our family vacation–I didn’t take nearly as many as I wanted to/should because with two little ones, I was often very busy swimming, etc chasing them around. Our vacation was great and the kids had a good time hanging out with their uncles and grandma. Here’s a glimpse at our vacation. The highlights included shelling, wave jumping an seeing the dolphins “play” in our boat’s wake.
Oh Pumpkin Spice, I Just Can’t Have You In My Life
But damn you are good. I had my first and last Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season. I am so sad. So. Very. Sad. But you have 330 calories and 64 grams of sugar. Are you freaking kidding me? Really? Shit. I feel sick now that I know. I kinda want to lick the inside of the cup–knowing that this is the last time I will drink this. Normally, when I mess up a new way of eating (aka diet), I’d just throw the day away and eat whatever I want. But, that isn’t the case. I am realizing that I am not going to be perfect. I don’t expect to be perfect. And giving myself that permission is liberating.
When I went shopping yesterday at the market, I went with new eyes and a new attitude. I have never paid much attention to the ingredients for the most part–I always look for corn syrup or high fructose corn syrup or modified corn starch and stay away from anything that has those things in it. Not just for me but especially for my kids. But now, I am looking for things that don’t have any sugar–okay really don’t have any added sugar. Do you know it is almost next to impossible to find tomato sauce at the grocery store that doesn’t have added sugar–I read all of the labels and found one from a local restaurant that didn’t have any added sugar.
Also, salad dressing–they all frickin have sugar in them. All of them. I know, I know, I’ll just have to make my own–but crap, I don’t have a lot of extra time for that. Sugar is in everything–no more Chinese sauces for me either–that I don’t make myself. I am committed to cutting refined sugar out of my diet and all unnatural forms of sugar as well. I haven’t made a stand on stevia yet, but will do some more research on it and how it might make my body react–in terms of insulin production and processing.
I haven’t decided where I stand on grains–like quiona, Oats, etc. I am going to avoid eating them in too much quantity but also know that they are good for me in moderation. This is all a learning process for me and I am truly committed. I have given myself 10 free-days over the course of the year (you know, thanksgiving, christmas, birthdays) but who knows to what extent I will take them.
I feel really at peace with my decision and it is interesting that after making the decision, I haven’t really been tempted by anything or looked at anything and thought–OMG, I want that. Well, not unless you count the Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Saying Good-bye To Processed Food
I have decided to make a BIG move for my health. I am ceasing to eat processed foods. I want to be healthier. I need to be healthier. So, I’m committed to eating clean–as clean as possible for the next 363 days (I already have two under my belt).
I thought it would be hard on vacation, but it’s pretty easy to eat fresh foods and protein. I’m not being a fanatic about it, but am being really careful.
It’s amazing how much better I feel even after just two days.
Teaching Our Girls To Respect Themselves
There was a huge brouhaha that lit the interwebs and twitter up like Times Square. Ah….JCPenney, what are you thinking? What were you thinking. As the mother of a little girl who loves being pretty and make-up and frilly clothes, I struggle with teaching her that those are not the things that matter. And this doesn’t help…
Cute and sassy? I don’t mind if my daughter is cute and sassy, but she is also going to be intellectual and use her brain for more than picking out the right shade of lipstick. I know that being pretty is overvalued in our society. I know the research that says that pretty people make more money and have more opportunity (just look at TV, movies, print ads–we totally overvalue beauty). These pressures are abundant in our society and they don’t go away as you get older. Hell, I’m 40 and I still feel them. But to market to that? To make being pretty a value just doesn’t sit right with me.
Our job as parents raising boys who are caring and girls who value smarts is already difficult enough, does it really need to get any harder?
Ushering In A New Decade
Last night I went to sleep in my 30’s and this morning I woke up in my 40’s. I’d like to say I feel different, older, more mature. But I don’t. It will be weird to say I’m 40. I’m one of those people who “forgets” how old they are. I always have to think about it before I answer. Age just isn’t that important to me. I feel young–I’m sure part of that is due to the fact that I am still in school–PhD or die! Or that my kids are only 5 and 3 1/2. I feel like I should be younger than 40. I am certainly not where I thought I would be at 40. But, I’m pretty happy with where I am and the life I have. I wish I wasn’t so heavy. I wish I didn’t have so much debt (thank you adoption, staying home as a mom, and college (undergrad, grad, grad, grad) and private school for our kids). But all of those things that have put us in debt–have added so much more to our lives than they’ll cost us in the long run.
This is the year to put up or shut up. I’ll finish my dissertation research and my dissertation before I turn 41. I’ll finally commit to getting into the shape I want to be and to being healthy. I owe it to myself and my kids. I can say it hasn’t been a priority–because I have had other priorities–school, family, school, school, work, family. But now it is time to make health a priority and to set a good example for my kids.
I love my life and who I am. I can’t complain about being 40, because I can’t complain about where I am and what I have that makes my life great.
I use to wish for things and now I have everything I have ever wished for. Everything else is gravy. I have an amazing husband and two of the most wonderful kids in the world. I have a family that I love and loves me. I have a community that I belong to and amazing opportunities. I have an education that is worth every single penny (and it’s a lot of pennies :)). Is it perfect? To others, no. To me? Absolutely. I would not trade what I am, who I am or what I have for anything.
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I dropped the ball with updating about my donating. But I will give you a final total–I was able to ‘save’ $275 of money I would have otherwise spent on stuff we didn’t need and donate it all to charities. I donated to many well known charities and to some smaller ones. I am proud of what I was able to do in 6 weeks time. Will I keep doing it? I don’t know. I will to some degree and I am a lot more aware of what I am spending and if it is really something we need.
Embracing Imperfection 