One In 7 Billion Day 2

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

So, today is Day 2 in my 45 day countdown to turning forty.  Day 1 and and explanation of what I am doing and why can be found here.  Today’s donation is $10 to Free the Children and their clean water projects.  This $10 is donated instead of buying lunch out.  I made a sandwich at home instead.  I will not go hungry and that money that would have bought me a sandwich and iced tea can now be used to help bring clean water, one of the most basic necessities to a village and help save lives.  It seems so simple.

I choose Free the Children, not just because they do good work, but because part of their mission is to get youth to do good work for others in need.  I believe in raising activists and children who become adults who give back.  I want my children to have good values and to believe in helping others who have less.

Please consider making a donation today instead of purchasing something you don’t really need.  Also, if you have a charity you would like me to donate to please leave a comment.  I need 43 more charities.  If I donate to your charity, I will do so in your name.

 

One In 7 Billion: I’m Donating My Way to 40

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

Last night I was at the U2 concert and was inspired.  Okay, maybe inspired isn’t the right word.  I was humbled by my own inaction.  After the opening act, the jumbo screen ticked off statistics and some of them were staggering.  Like the fact that yesterday alone over $61 million dollars was spent on video games alone.  Are you kidding me?  On top of that people in the US spent over $151 million on weight loss alone yesterday.  So we spent over $200 million yesterday in the US on video games and weight loss–I see a bit of irony in that.

It made me sad to think about all the waste and gratuitous consumption.  All of which I am a willing participant in.  It really hit me yesterday.  I had been talking to someone about Noah’s beginning and how he almost died before we could bring him home.  About how he would have died if he hadn’t been in our adoption agencies care center.  Dehydration from diarrhea is the most common cause of death in children under 5 in Ethiopia and much of the undeveloped/developing world.  Much of this is caused from lack of clean drinking water.  Something so simple–Water.  Clean Water.  Clean. Water.

It blows my mind.  I dumped out half a bottle of perfectly fine water yesterday because it had gotten to hot in my car.  Just thinking about how the most precious resource in so many places–gets wasted here and in other industrial nations each minute.  Each second.  That water we waste could save the lives of so many children.

I often think, well what can I really do?  I am one person.  One in a world of 7 billion.  But I was reminded that night that one person can make a difference.  I am the writer of my own history.  I am changing my history.  Just like with anything else it only takes a little change.

I am going to 40 in 45 days.  40–wow.  It is an age that the birth mothers of my children may or may not see.  It is barely considered middle-aged here.  So, over the next 45 days I am going to make a donation every day to a charity working to bring the most basic needs to those who don’t have them–water, school, food, water, etc.  I am going to simply take the money I would have spent on something frivolous and completely unnecessary and donate it.

Today, instead of buying a coffee (I can make coffee at work myself), I donated $5 to Save the Children.  I know it doesn’t seem like much–but $5 is $5 and it will help it can help.

What would you buy today that you don’t need?  Can you donate too? ONE can make a difference.

Lucky

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

I am feeling very fortunate these days and I think it is important to remember how lucky I am.  My marriage is awesome, not perfect, but at least totally awesome and healthy.  My husband dislikes his job–the politics part, not the actual work he has to do.  I like my job and know I have it for as long as I want it or until the state runs out of money to pay for it.  All of these things are easy to take for granted. I know these seems like a totally self-indulgent post.  But I need to remind myself of these things and to show thanks for them, because they are not guaranteed.

A couple/family close to us that we have known for nearly 7 years is separated.  While I don’t know the personal details of their marriage, it seems to have happened over night.  One day my husband pointed out something I had noticed–the wife hadn’t been around much.  This is a family who we spend a lot of time with–a family who we consider friends.  Our kids play together all the time and are constantly in each others homes.  Their kids are nearly 5 and 2–mine are 5 and 3.5.  It breaks my heart to see a family fall apart. It is not something that I have every witnessed this up close and personal.  It touches too close to home for my husband. His parents separated when he was 6.  It is a confusing time for the kids and probably just as confusing for the parents.

I am being supportive as possible and reaching out to the family.  We invite the kids over when we can as this time isn’t easy for anyone and if inviting the kids over to play gives them a small sense of normalcy and the parents a feeling that they aren’t totally alone, then that is the least I can do.  Because we are a community and it does take a village.  So, I will continue to help and be thankful that I am as lucky as I am.

 

Playdates–I Don’t Totally Suck

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

I will say it right now–I am a total slacker when it comes to scheduling playdates for Noah and I’m sure it will be the same with Zoë.  I often am rushed at pick-up and/or drop-off and don’t always have a lot of time to talk to the other moms.  This isn’t to say that Noah hasn’t had playdates and hasn’t been on playdates–he has, but not nearly as many as he could have had. And this year I have been especially bad about arranging playdates since we have 4 neighbors who live on either side of us that the kids play with.   I just didn’t feel the impetus to arrange playdates.

But Noah has been asking to get together with some of his friends and his school has asked us to get together with two new families who will joining his kindergarten class next year.  So, in a way I am being forced to arrange playdates and I have.

Noah has two this weekend–his BFF and future wife is coming over on Saturday and then on Sunday we are meeting with a new family.  And am working on another playdate with another of his BFFs and another new family.  So, I am feeling pretty successful at this point with getting Noah together with his friends.  But it is still hard, especially since I work and many of us work. But I will continue to attempt to make sure Noah has some playdates.  And, I guess I’ll have to do the same for Zoë since she is starting school in the fall.

Great….Just….Great.

What We Need Is Compassion

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

It is so easy to judge others for the parenting mistakes they made.  It is so easy to forget that in the blink of an eye–it could be us that tragedy strikes.  Recently there is the story of Karen Murphy, a veterinarian in the DC area.   She, sadly, left her 2-year-old in the car for 7 hours on a hot day.  There is no good ending to this story.  Her husband went to pick up their son at daycare and he wasn’t there.  He called her to ask where their son was–thus began their nightmare.  And nearly every parents nightmare.

Karen Murphy is being prosecuted with a charge of felony murder–it carries a sentence of 40 years.  She has two other children.  The prosecutor in the case wants to send a message, “We hope it’d be a wake up call for other people who might be inclined not to take care of their children.”

I don’t agree that felony murder is the appropriate charge.  My first reaction to this story was sorrow.  I cried for this family.  It is sad and tragic and has already happened to 20 families this year and 49 last year and 514 families since 1998.  The comments left by readers of the story are so judgmental and vitriolic.

When I became a parent 5 years ago, I couldn’t imagine ever leaving my child in a car.  I was obsessive about it.  I can say that I have never come close to doing it.  But that doesn’t mean I have a right to judge this woman.  I think it is horrific and I also know that there is no punishment that could ever be worse than losing a child and knowing it was your fault.  But murder?  It is a tragic accident.  When a child drowns accidentally, I don’t think we file murder chargers against the family.

I was almost a statistic.  My kids were in the bathtub.  My son was 2 and my daughter 1.  I walked to the door of our small bathroom to ask my husband a question.  I did not leave the bathroom but I did turn my back.  When I went back in, my heart stopped.  My daughter was under the water and couldn’t get herself back up.  I grabbed her and she was fine, but I hate to think what could have happened.  What would have happened if I hadn’t turned my head when I did.  In a split-second tragedy strikes.

Most parents (boy how I wish I could say all) spend their life looking out for and protecting their children.  Witnesses who saw Karen Murphy go out to her car and find her dead child said her screams could be hear fro blocks.  This was not a women who wanted to hurt her child.  This was a woman who loved her child.  This was a woman who was a mother and who was overwhelmed and over busy.  I am certainly not making excuses but it is time that we all banded together.

We have cars that can park themselves, why can’t we have cars that have sensors for car seats?  Why can’t car seats have a sensor tied into the car that dings when we turn off the car if there is weight in the car seat?  There must be a way for technology to help parents.  Why can’t day care centers have auto-dialer systems like schools do when kids aren’t there.  Maybe it could save a child’s life.  Because for whatever else we are, we are all human.  We all make mistakes and kids shouldn’t have to die because we make them.