Why We’ll Never Have That Vacation Home

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

Just when I think that maybe, I could not sent my kids to the private school Noah attends.  Maybe we could then buy that vacation home we want (okay we really don’t want one–but we could have one).  Maybe Bill could get a new car.  Then I listen to something like this and am reminded of all the reasons why I decided to send my kids, not just to any private school, but to this private school. This was about the importance of kindergarten (a good kindergarten–the kind where kids play and learn) but applies to so much more.

The guest on Radio Times, Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, spoke directly to the reasons my children are at TCS.  In research, she and another psychologist, have come up with what they call the 6 C’s.  This is based on both psychological science. learning outcomes and the business world–that place so many of our kids will try to get jobs.  As I listened, she could have been describing Noah’s school.

  • Collaboration–it is imperative that our children learn how to work in teams and to build community
  • Communication–not just speaking but also listening.  Being able to write (not the 5-paragraph essay so many schools teach) but persuasively.
  • Content–content is important but it can’t be the only thing.  Reading and Math scores are not all that matter–and really barely matter outside of schools.  Content should include music, history, STEM subjects.  The information/content of our world is said to double every 2 1/2 years–can we really drill all these facts into our kids?
  • Critical Thinking–need to be able to create “recipes” for problems.
  • Creativity–we can’t only be analytical.  We need and the business world wants more creative innovation.  Look how long it took BP to come up with a solution–we need to teach our kids to be creative innovators.
  • Confidence–the students need confidence to try, not to fill in the right blank.  They need to have the confidence to know there are many, many routes to get to the same destination.

So, I’m happy to know my kids are getting the best education they can.  This isn’t to say that their school is the only place they could get this education but it is the only place I can guarantee they’ll get this education every year in everything they do at their school.

Balance On The Family Vacation

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

We leave in less than three weeks for our annual family vacation–Hubs, myself, our two kids, my brother and his partner, my other brother and my mom.  My mom started this tradition 2 years ago and it’s great.  This will be our 3rd family vacation and I am excited.  We are doing another cruise–which is great.  Cruising with kids is really great because there really is a lot for the kids to do.  Both kids will be old enough to go to camp and the kids can do camp at dinner time–how awesome is that.  The adults can have grown-up dinners in the dinning room.  It seems my husband and I are the only ones who think that is a good idea.  The uncles and grandma want to spend time with the kids as well.  I told my one brother (who lives in Chicago) that we would put the kids in camp at dinner time and he has the nerve to say to me: “Why even bring the kids if they are going to be in camp the whole time.”

This is so easy for those whose kids they aren’t to say and really easy for those who don’t have kids to say.  I love my kids and they are really fun to be around.  But we are the ones who have to parent.  We are the ones who have to take care of and entertain them when every one else is tired of playing with them, wants to do something else, etc.  We plan on taking our kids into port each day we port because it’ll be fun and so everyone else can spend time with them.  But again, they’ll hang with them for an hour or so and then they’ll go off and do other things and it’ll be us and the kids.

I don’t want this to seem like I’m complaining and don’t want to be with my kids.  I love my kids and they really are fun, but they are a lot of work and it would be fun to get to spend a hour or two snorkeling, etc., but those thing have to happen in shifts between Bill and I because while everyone wants to hang out with the kids, no one wants to actually be responsible for them.

I am determined to get to spend a little bit of alone time with my hubs sans children on this trip, regardless of what the uncles want.  But I want to find the balance and enjoy the trip regardless.  Looking forward to Grand Turk and the Bahamas. On a side note–I can’t wait to get Zoë’s hair braided while we are in the islands.

Totally Breaking My Heart

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

For the past week or so Noah has been crying when I leave him at the sitters.  This is totally unusual behavior for Noah.  This isn’t to say he hasn’t been clinging before and a bit of a protester when it is time for me to leave–but even at home he’s been a bit needy and when I leave for a meeting or something else, he’s clingy and it breaks my hear to see his lip quiver and have him say while trying to hold back tears “Mommy, I want you.”

It is so hard.  I don’t know what is happening?  I know the sitters is fine and he has fun.  By the time I pick him up he is happy to see me but is usually playing just fine and is totally happy.  It is so hard.  Because I want to just scoop him up and bring him to work with me and just love him.  These days go by so quick.  I need to remember to enjoy the time we have together more and I have been making a concerted effort of spending quality time with him while increasing the quantity of time we spend together as well.

I love that he needs me and wants to be with me, but it is a departure from his usually outgoing behavior.  Or am I just now recognizing it?  I hope not.  This morning was the hardest, as you could see he was trying to hold back the tears and his little lip was quivering.  I just hugged him so tight and I didn’t want to let go.  Letting go is so hard.  It’s moments like this that make me question working.  I know that I need to work, but can it be about me?  I know it is best for my family that I work and that what is best for me is often best for the family.  I am a better mom.

I think that maybe this behavior is his way of expressing his feelings of insecurity.  He is growing up–he’ll be in a new class at school in the fall–most of the kids are kids he was in class with last year and he’ll have new teachers.  He knows the teachers and is excited but it bet there is some degree of uncertainty as well.

I feel bad leaving him at the sitters and I feel bad that I feel bad because I know he has fun.  Motherhood is awesome but sometimes being the parent Sucks.

Moving Toward A Mostly Whole Food Life

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 4 Comments

I will be 40 in just over 12 months.

I always thought, believed, hoped I would be in better shape and thinner by now. But the truth is I’m not. For the three of you who have been reading my blog for a substantial period of time know that weight has always been an issue for me and I am just now coming to grips with what that means in terms of my life and the choices I make. It means changing the way I see and think about food. It means changing my relationship with exercise (even if it’s 100 degrees).

I committed (finally) to being in great shape by the time I turn 40. That means eating a mostly whole food diet, exercising regularly and shedding on average 7 pounds a month. I am worth it and I owe it to myself and my family to follow the example I expect my children to follow.

Here is my second whole food meal-shrimp, quinoa, poblano chiles, edamame, goat cheese and cilantro.

One Of The Lucky Ones

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 4 Comments

It really is true what they say.  There really are 6 applicants for every job opening out there.  I have been lucky enough to turn my part-time job into a full-time job.  But it isn’t as easy as it sounds.  Because I work at a public university, we had to advertise the position even though the job is mine.  We only advertised by one mass email and we had 8 applicants including myself.  I feel bad but it really hit home for me how bad the job market is.  This isn’t a glamorous job with big pay.  It’s an administrative job with lots of emailing, report writing, and data analyzing.  It is a job that has no real option for upward mobility, but it is a job at a university.  That alone opens other doors for future advancement.  I feel bad for those 7 people who won’t be getting my job.  I understand something that I didn’t before.  It really is tough out there in the job market.  I have been really fortunate all my life to have jobs when I wanted them and to have never been out of work (knocking on all the wood I can find).  But there are so many people out there who are educated and cannot find work and those who are less educated and  cannot find work.

I do know how lucky I am to have a secure job and be married to a man who has a secure job.  Our kids don’t want for anything they need (there are plenty of things they want), our mortgage is easily paid and we have extra for vacations and the unnecessary things in life.  So many of the people who are out of work aren’t out of work because they are lazy or don’t want to be bothered to look for a job, but because the job market is so tight that everyone is fighting over the few jobs there are.  Companies are filling their vacant jobs, they are asking their employees to work harder for slightly higher wages, but giving a few employees who are picking up the slack a few extra bucks is a lot cheaper than hiring another employee who needs benefits, etc.

I hope that someday it all bounces back and that most people who want a job can find one that pays well and allows them to provided for themselves and their families.  I know that we will always have a certain number of people out of work, but I hope that soon it gets better.  I certainly appreciate the opportunities I have.