My Dirty Little Secret

I am coming clean here–no pun intended (okay maybe a little).  I am HORRIBLE housekeeper.  Horrible might even be an understatement.  I am pretty sure that it is.  It isn’t that I like a messy house–because I hate it–I just don’t seem to be able to organize my house in a way that makes it easy for me to keep it clean.  It not just this house but every place I have lived.  I love it when my house is clean and organized–but that doesn’t last long.  I just can’t seem to keep it up.  I won’t make excuses–like I have two active kids, work 3 jobs, etc. because this was not always the case.  I look at photos of other peoples houses or visit other peoples houses and I am often so jealous that their houses are so organized and clean.  Then depressed I return to mine and it seems to overwhelming that I don’t know what to do.

I am a pack rat.  I have a hard time throwing things away and this in turn makes keeping an organized house.  But I am at a point now of being almost 40 that I am sick and tired of having a messy house.  A house that isn’t one I’d like to have people over to.  A house that is a little embarrassing.  But I don’t know where to start.  It’s pathetic and hard to admit.

I want to set a good example for my kids and teach them how to be organized and clean.  I just don’t know how to start.  How to begin to organize.  How to start throwing stuff out.

How do you keep your house clean and organized?  Help me out.

How To Make It Better

Education that is.  There is ALWAYS talk of how bad education is and there are ALWAYS politicians talking about ways to improve it–highly qualified teachers (this means degrees and certification only–no measures of effectiveness), testing every year, mandating that all students (regardless of English proficiency or IEP status) will meet or exceed expectations.  Those of you tired of Education talk please stop reading now.   Because I am just getting started here.  Education reform is my cause.  It is why I am working my ass off getting my PhD while raising two kids and trying to be a wife.  Teacher training is my cause because I believe and know that the single most important factor in student success is teacher effectiveness.  Am I blaming teachers?  No.  I was/am a teacher.  Is it our fault?  No it is the systems fault.  The entire system has failed everyone.  The system has broken many of us and it drives away 50% of us in the first five years.  We need to look at the system–we are all part of the system.

Diane Ravitch has a new book out–The Death and Life of the Great American School System:  How Testing and Choice are Undermining Education. You can check it out here or read a review of it here or here.  Those of you in Education have possibly heard of her.  She is a renowned Education Historian and has been involved in education through Presidential administrations.  You can find our more about her by reading her CV.  She was a proponent of NCLB before it was called NCLB.  She now loudly states her realization that is is/was a colossal failure.  In the last 12 years reading scores have not budged according to NAEP–which is the national testing that is given every 2 years to random students–this is seen as the TEST when comparing American students to others as it is a test that cannot be prepped for or taught to as no one knows what will be on it or who will be taking it.

I agree very much with her. Our school system has become one that teaches to a test.  Test companies are creating curriculum aligned with individual state standards and state tests.  The curriculum are canned or boxed and a one size fits all–Education as become all about outcomes/results but not about the students.  We have gone from teacher-centered classrooms to test-centered classrooms.  Where are the students?  How can they possibly be engaged in an education that is all about teaching them facts, etc. for a test.  How can teachers be passionate about their jobs when they are expected to produce test scores as opposed to students who can think for themselves.

She writes:

It solves no problems to exclude parents and the public from important decisions about education policy or to disregard the educators who work with students daily. Public education is a vital institution in our democratic society, and its governance must be democratic, open to public discussion and public participation.

Schools do not exist in isolation. They are part of the larger society. Schooling requires the active participation of many, including students, families, public officials, local organizations, and the larger community.

I couldn’t agree more.  We have an education system that is run from the top down and no one else has a voice–not the teacher, not the parents, not the community, not the students.  Kelly over at Mocha Momma wrote about parental involvement and this is key.  The education system doesn’t allow for parental involvement.  it doesn’t clearly communicate the values of the school nor does it reflect the values of a community or society at large.  The top down running of schools and the arbitrary use of test scores that are disconnected from students’ lives have helped crumble the school system.

This is something that private schools do (those that are good–don’t get me wrong there are bad private schools).  But private schools are not slaves to the test and test scores.  Parents and the community are an integral to the functioning and the decision making process.

Now to the crux–how can we fix it? Stop all the excess testing–we certainly need some measure of where students are and if they have moved.  Stop punishing teachers for test scores on tests that don’t measure what students have learned but what they can do in 45 minutes on one given day.  Don’t threaten to fire teachers and close schools.  Vow to reform schools and provide teachers with training and tools to help them be more effective. Ensure that educators are running schools and that educators (those who have risen up through the ranks) are the ones making decisions. Teachers often do the best they can–we need to improve professional development and help districts and buildings create a learning environment not just for the students but also for the teachers.

Take the “for profit” companies out of education.

Don’t tie pay to test scores.  You can tie it to evaluations, performance, professional development activities.  But not to test scores. This pits teachers against teachers and creates an adversarial community.

Obviously, there is much more to the problem than I can write about here.  But it is something that is so important to me and pervades everything I do in my life.

to be continued…

Parents, Make It Stop.

It’s our job.  I am sick, sad, heart-broken and pissed off.  Here is why.  I can’t believe that a community–not just a few idiots–but an entire fucking community could do something like this and think it’s okay.  I have been following Constance’s quest to attend her prom with her girlfriend in the clothes of her choice (she wanted to wear a tux).  And everything about it makes me sick and sad and angry.

It is no secret that I have a gay brother.  He’s been openly gay for as long as I can remember–he is nearly 4 years younger than me and officially came out around 1988.  It was certainly no surprise and he was lucky to have a loving family, great friends and a place (home) to be himself.  To be gay.  Most of his friends didn’t have that place as the late 80’s was no time to be gay with the AIDS panic that surrounded that community.  It was a hard time to be a gay teen–not that now is any easier.  He was also denied attendance to his prom by his high school.  There were no protests.  There was no court case–he didn’t really want to go and wanted to push the envelope.  But he was pretty popular in high school and most kids were cool with his orientation.

21 years later.  21 years.  That is a long time–we are still fighting the same fights.  The hate, the bullying, the blatant discrimination has to stop.  Parents it is our job and responsibility to teach our kids what is okay and what isn’t.  If you are homophobic and have strong feelings that it is a sin or wrong–then keep that to yourself.  Don’t make those decisions for your children–they cannot process that.  Those teachings lead to hate, fear and feelings of superiority.  That then leads to what is happening to Constance and what happened to those lynched from trees and to Matthew Sheppard who was beaten and left for dead.  We are different and have to accept those differences.  Sexual orientation is not a choice (not having that argument here) just as skin color isn’t a choice.  Neither of these things make one a bad person.  We must teach our children love.  We must teach them compassion.  We must teach them acceptance.

We have to stop teaching them hate.  We have to stand up for those who have little to no voice.  We have to teach our kids to stand up but standing up ourselves.  Teachers–you are the second line of defense.  Don’t let students use derogatory statements in class. Shut it down.  Stand up.  It is time.

Give All for Love

Jill a fellow adoptive mom with an Ethiopian Princess–has an awesome new shop.  She is selling great hair and skin products and you can pick a charity to donate some of the proceeds to.  Ethiopian Orphan Relief is my choice of charity.  Check out her shop and buy a little something for those in your life.  I’m getting my Ethiopian princess quite a bit.

Vacation Is Good

I know…who doesn’t know that.  We took our first driving vacation with both kids this past weekend.  Noah has been on several trips to Chicago/Indiana but Zoë has not.  Zoë hates the car and for the longest time we just didn’t want to subject ourselves to the torture of her screaming, crying, whining, etc.  But now after close to two years home–we decided it was time to take a road trip.  We went to Kansas City for Easter.  Easter is one of those holidays that is often more trouble than it’s worth–parents to see, grandparents, etc.  It is increasingly difficult when your parents are divorced and now you have two sides to see and everyone wants to so something at the same time.  We aren’t a religious family and therefore, so much of what Easter stands for/represents is not part of our celebration.  The kids are young enough that we don’t have to address the actual holiday–we’ll cross that bridge when they start asking–right now it’s about a bunny that brings eggs and candy–even though bunnies don’t lay eggs (Noah is very certain of this).

I had so much fun with on the family vacation.  The drive to Kansas City–nice and easy.  The kids did great.  They loved the pool.  Noah was so excited to see a pool inside.  He has been in pools before but always on vacation and always outside.  He thought this whole indoor pool thing was the coolest thing ever.  We spent a lot of time in the pool.  He is still a bit afraid of the water–but with his water wings he does okay.  He swam by himself (with water wings) for the first time this vacation.  He is a bit of a cautious boy–he will take chances but just seems to know that the water is inherently dangerous.  This is something that he has developed himself.  Zoë on the other hand–wants to jump in and do it all herself.  Noah will be getting swimming lessons this summer at camp and then after that we will sign him up for formal swim lessons along with Zoë.

Looking forward to our next vacation.