Having chosen international adoption over domestic for the reason detailed in The Reveal we needed to chose a country.  This was more difficult than I could have imagined.  For a number of reasons, one being that I have a really hard time making up my mind.  I always have and I always tend to question why I have made a life-changing decision.  We went back and forth for months–we decided to start the adoption process in April of 2005–we decided on Ethiopia in September 2005.  It took a long time.  I had packets of info from hundreds of agencies in regards to hundreds of programs.  Our top choices were, in no particular order Guatemala, Ethiopia, Taiwan, and Nepal. 

We wanted to adopt from a country whose culture and history we were interested in.  We felt strongly that we should feel some excitement and desire to want to learn about our child’s birth country.  That was one of the most important factors for us.  We also looked closely at each country and felt strongly about the way the children were cared for.  We knew we did want to adopt from a country with huge government run institutionalized care.  We wanted to adopt from a country where the children are cared for and raised in smaller settings with more personal care than was offered in those countries with large country run orphanages.  Guatemala was a first choice because of the care the children get.  They are raised by foster mothers from the time they are relinquished.  I also had the option/choice/ability to foster my own child once we were referred a child.  That was an appealing option.  But we decided against Guatemala as the process was getting a little longer and to be honest it was very costly and I didn’t and still don’t like the fact that nearly all of the money paid was paid to attorneys.  Nepal was another choice that was a fit for us.  Nepal requires that couples adopting be married 5 years (I think) and be infertile.  It was a perfect fit for us. But then there was some turmoil politically in Nepal and there was talk of their adoption program being closed, etc.  This was not something we wanted to deal with.  We also didn’t want to wait an incredibly long time for a referral.  We were looking into how long each country’s process was taking at the point we were deciding as well as cost and governmental factors as all impact the adoption process.  This ruled out Taiwan as their wait times were getting to be longer by the day. 

This left us with Ethiopia–which ironically had been our first choice when we first started discussing international adoption.  But we decided we should look at all of our choices, but we wound up where we started and we knew there was something to that.  Hubby and I are both interested in Evolution Theory and have a background in Anthropology–it is what my husband’s degree is in.  Ethiopia has such a rich history and not just as an African nation but as a region and as a people.  We knew it was a place we wanted to learn more about and a place we would want to visit over and over again.  We felt this was important as we want and plan to take our children to their birth country as often as possible once they are old enough to understand and feel their connection to it. 

We have one beautiful Ethiopian born son and there is no doubt that he was born to be our son.  We are currently waiting for a beautiful Ethiopian born daughter…Adoption is difficult.  Infertility sucks.  But I am thankful for the infertility and for adoption because those two things together gave me my son.  And he is MY SON.