My life is a complete and utter frenzy of chaos, excitement, sorrow, happiness, sadness, and so on and so on.  I leave for Ethiopia in 3 days.  Saturday at 12:50 I will be on my way to Peepers.  I am so excited and if I didn’t have almost a million other things to do before I left, I might be calm.  But there is so much to do.  I have to admit that I catch my breath every time the phone rings.  I know that this adoption is going smoother than Minnow’s adoption.  I mean we passed court the first time and all of our paperwork is in order.  But I can’t help but be cautious. 

I am having a hard time balancing my happiness with the feeling of sadness I have for my friend Anne and her loss of their beautiful baby.  The loss of a child is something one never gets over.  It forces me to remember and appreciate the miracle that is a child.  During our last adoption another family lost their baby two weeks before they were to travel and about a month or so before we traveled.  It is scary and reminds me of the dangers of life in a developing nation.  I am happy and sad at the same time. 

I have a list that just keeps getting longer and lists about my lists that keeps getting longer.  I know it is all worth it, but I am gettin dizzy trying to keep it all straight and together.  And, I cannot believe that I am leaving Minnow for 8 days.  I don’t know how I am going to do that.  I don’t know how Minnow is going to handle me being gone.  I am sure he will be fine and won’t really miss me that much–but I worry that he might and then what. 

Okay. Must. Stop. Worrying. About. The. Things. I. Cannot. Change.

I am leaving just over 72 hours.  Holy Shit.