Peepers has been my second child–in real life–for one month now (A little longer if you count our time in Ethiopia). But I am starting to count since we have been here at home with my first child–Minnow.
I am not going to lie and say how awesome it’s been and how great. Because quite frankly adjusting to a second child has sucked. Not only because she doesn’t sleep, but because she is very demanding–part of that has to do with her age–she is nearly 9months old now and wants things. She isn’t content to just hang out. She needs things to do and it’s hard to provide both her and Minnow with age appropriate things to do–so often I let her drink (pour) my coffee and pick up hubby’s cigarette butts. I have struggled with finding time for myself as their nap schedule resembles torture—Peepers sleeps and Minnow naps after she wakes. Peepers naps again and Minnow wakes up 30 minutes later.
I have gone from having 3 hours to myself to regenerate and pretend I don’t have any one other than myself demanding my time to having only 30 which serves as a stark reminder that my life is no longer my own–at all.
But there are upsides to having a new baby–I am totally in love with her. She is happy and has a great personality. She doesn’t cry unless she is hungry and/or tired. She is growing and now sleeps in her own bed and is sleeping longer and I can see glimpses of more sleep in my future. The love is amazing and seeing her every morning is awesome and watching her learn new things, etc., just plain rocks.
I am happy and blessed to be her mother–we’ll see how she feels about that later. But it’s tough and I am not afraid to admit it. I know that doesn’t make me a bad mother; it just makes me a real and honest woman who is also a mother.
So, what do you struggle with and what gets you through?
Embracing Imperfection 
I also struggle with the not sleeping–we were having some seriously bad times here for the last couple of months because the new assistant director at Amelie’s daycare is in college and learning all kinds of new childcare stuff, including “How To F&$k Up Half Time Student’s Napping Schedule”. I pick Amelie up at 12:30, which for the last year or so was right after lunch, during pick up and clean up, but before naps. Perfect. She napped at home. Then this new chick decided to put them down for naps at 12:00pm. So Amelie would sleep for approximately 10 minutes before I’d arrive–just enough to make her think she’d had a real nap and take the edge off, but not so much as to actually rest and not be a basket case for the rest of the day and night. I was ready to kill someone and cried basically everyday. We talked with the staff several times and they eventually agreed to let her stay until 2pm for the same price, so she could nap there and we’d be guaranteed a nap everyday. Eureka! My life has improved.
Having Brayson as a second child is easier because newborns don’t do anything except sleep and eat. It’s a very different experience than Amelie who came home at 10 months, already a tornado. I kinda want to slap people who think newborns are SO HARD. Really? Unless they have colic, you need to up your pain threshold, people.
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I struggle with all letting myself relax and just enjoy hanging out with my girls when there’s *so* much stuff that should be done. Being a student I’m used to putting in full effort to get the results I want in school, and that just doesn’t transfer too well to being at home with a 8-month old and two pre-teens. The only thing that works for me is to let myself take the time to check blogs, read a book, and just relax – even if there are dishes in the sink and laundry to be done!
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Ugh – I struggle with it all!
Seriously, I love Elsa to bits, and I wouldn’t change anything, but it is HARD.
I miss my independence, spontaneity, peace and quiet, and my social life. I knew I was going to give those up, but the reality of doing that is more difficult than I anticipated.
Elsa is VERY active and has tons of energy and a short attention span (which is normal for her age, I’m sure). This means she needs constant stimulation and attention, it seems. Which exhausts me.
And the lack of sleep makes every single thing harder.
I just went back to work – this means I’m a bit MORE tired, but I am also grateful for the break.
Think I might need to steal this topic for my blog… hope you don’t mind. 🙂
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My Bunny has decided she doesn’t want to nap lately (but she still needs to) so my time has diminished greatly. I wonder what will happen when we bring home her brother from Ethiopia next year. Will I have any time, will I completely lose my mind (or what is left of it)?
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Oh where to start… First I struggle with a lot of mommy-guilt. Guilt about the mess our house is, guilt about my tuning the kids out while I’m on the computer/watching tv, guilt about WANTING to go back to work, etc, etc, etc. I found one remedy to that was to unsubscribe from several blogs. You know the one’s where they talk ONLY about how wonderful their children are, how much they LOVE being SAHM’s, and all the wonderful meals they prepare, games they play, etc. I don’t need that 🙂
Second, I struggle with how extroverted Boomer is. I only recently realized this, he needs CONSTANT interaction. He is up in my face ALL the time. Supergirl and I are both introverted, so it worked out well for us, she would need alone time and I would need alone time, we would take it and no one’s feelings are hurt. Now here comes Boomer who definitely does not believe in alone time. Going to the Y is helping, he gets to play with the kids and I get some ‘semi’ alone time…
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Aw heck, its all one big crazy wonderful struggle! I struggle with brushing my own hair by 4 pm on some days (-:
Take it day at a time, relax, do what you and the kids enjoy doing, not what you think you “should” be doing. And if you haven’t yet, pick up a book called, The Mother Trip. You’ll feel much better (-:
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We just brought home our second son, our older son is 3.5 years old and the younger is 8 months. I am loving spending time with them and had made an effort to have some alone time with my older son. What I struggle with is watching our house fall apart. Every day it gets a little more filthy, and every day, there is no time to do anything about it unless I start cleaning in the middle of the night. Anyone know a cheap maid service?
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Oh crap, I am just about to bring my 9 month old girl home. I thought I would be bringing her home MONTHS ago so would have some “newborn” time. Sounds like I am in for what you are all describing. Thanks for posting this as it will (hopefully) better prepare me.
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Yesterday my hubby went back to work…the whole day sucked! I cried 5 times…fell down the stairs with a baby in my arms, yelled too much and went to bed exhausted and annoyed!
Becky
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Oh she is beautiful. I love her eyes.
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Whenever you are the mother of a cover model, you are going to look like a genius on top of a humanitarian. This might be the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen, including the two who were spawned from my very own womb.
Love your blog, too!
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