Zoë won’t sleep. She fights it and I am running on fumes and those fumes are quickly evaporating. I am lucky on a typical day if she naps for 90 minutes–all day. She is going to be one in a few days and I know she needs more sleep. I know I do. She has been up at night the past few nights for at least 2 hours. She is tired but doesn’t want to sleep–she cries and cries and cries. I hold her and she cries. I lay her down and she cries. She is yet sleeping through the night–we are going on 4 months with barely a full night of sleep–wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have two active children all day who don’t nap at the same times. I am lucky that Noah is still is a good napper–he wakes in the middle of the night occasionally but goes back to sleep rather quickly.
I am at a loss for ways to help her become a better sleeper. Part of that is I have no patience left. I am tense and very quick to frustration and anger. She napped this afternoon for about 40 minutes and woke up crabby and cried for quite some time. She started rubbing her eyes and so I put her back to bed–she has been crying and I just can’t deal with it. I am no longer going to be embarrassed or ashamed that I am at my wits end. That I don’t know what to do. That I can’t handle the not sleeping. That I am struggling with the crying and the refusal to go to sleep. I need some help. I need some advice. I need somethings that I can try. Because this has to end before I lose it.
Embracing Imperfection 
I wish I had some spectacular advice. I don’t. I feel a touch of your pain because Peyton has become very irritable and defiant and she hasn’t taken a nap in over a week — I believe without a doubt the two are related. Everyday I put her down…think she has finally allowed herself a day to doze off…then I hear her voice begging to get up…I am almost to tears, for naptime used to be my favorite time of day! Hang in there. If I think of any ideas — I’ll send them your way. ( you can nap at my house tomorrow morning if you want, I’ll watch Zoe! LOL)
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I’m so sorry Dawn. I don’t really have much advice because as you know Alijah has never been a good sleeper and he’s not napping now which means I have to wait a long time for a “break”…Yasmin has been a bit cranky lately too. I’m going to be lucky to hang onto my sanity because Donald leaves for 4 MONTHS this Sunday for the academy.
The only thing that comes to mind (because I don’t know much about sleep training) is, can you have a babysitter come over and just give you a break for a couple of hours…maybe during Noah’s school, that way you can have time for you and only you without either kid? Sending hugs your way!
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Oh, Dawn. Hugs to you. I think lack of sleep is the very hardest part of parenting. Isa didn’t sleep more than 15 minutes at a time, day OR night, and I seriously thought I was going to die. I didn’t have another little one at the time (Britta was 11 when she was born), so I can only imagine how that must compound things. She was also extremely cranky. It was SO hard to live through! But I did live. One thing I learned was that taking excellent care of myself in spite of the situation helped me get the spiral going in a more positive direction — I tried to eat well, etc., and do things that were mentally and emotionally sustaining for me. It was hard to do, but it got easier and it helped me keep my head above water.
You don’t know how much I wish we lived close by so I could take the kids so you could rest — or check into a hotel and sleep!
((((Thinking of you!!!))))
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Dawn –
If you need a break I would be happy to sit one afternoon for you so you can get a good 4 hour nap in. I really mean this…I would be happy to do it!
Let me know
Mrs. B
Mrs. Bakers last blog post..BLOG UNION vs. REUNION
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Dawn,
My sister suggested a book to me when we first brought our son home. It’s called Heathly Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It’s written by Marc Weissbluth. I think that it can be a little over the top sometimes, but it emphasizes the importance of schedules and that kids being overtired actually leads to them sleeping worse. I think it helped me, as Caleb was up 3 times a night for a while, and after following some of his advice (early bedtime, like 6:30 pm, crazy I know), he actually started sleeping through the night. And he’s been a great sleeper ever since. I don’t know exactly what you do, so don’t know if you would be interested, but I always pass on this information when people are having sleep problems with kids. Good luck, and hope you find something that helps!
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Hi Dawn, I have been lurking for a while. We live in St. Louis and we are on the waiting list (just recently!) for a little girl from Ethiopia. We have a 7 yr old girl as well.
Does Zoe ever sleep with you? Can you sleep well with her in your bed? You have probably thought of this already. I haven’t tried it but I know the family bed works well for some.
I hope things improve for you soon.
diane
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Guess I’ll chime in, for what its worth, as it will probably be of no consolation to tell you that PL has not slept through the night yet. Yup, she’s 6-1/2 now. I try not to think about it (-: Sadly, she also gave up naps at a very early age. So here’s the things the books don’t tell you: its ok to hit ‘repeat’ on Baby Mozart, sit with your kids on the couch, and sleep while they watch it again and again and again. Its ok to stay in your jammies all day and hand the child over to your husband when he gets home and go directly to bed (with earplugs and all fans running). Its ok to sleep in the same bed as your baby. Its ok to strap them into their carseats, drive until they fall asleep, then park in the garage, turn off the car, and fall asleep in the front seat, too, until they wake up. Its ok to bring them to a sitter for an afternoon so you can sleep. Its ok to take a night off and make your husband do baby-duty, by himself, even if he has to go to work the next day and you don’t.
Do whatever you have to do. I wish I was there to help. You can always shoot me an e-mail at 3 am – I promise my sympathy (-:
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Ugh. We have sleep issues here, too. I feel you. I know you’re already doing all the schedule stuff, so I’m not going to suggest that. We’re working through The No Cry Sleep Solution book for Toddlers and Preschoolers. I know she’s not quite “there” yet, but it’s the first I’ve found with advice other than–Set a schedule! Stick to it! Uh, yea, I tried that a year and a half ago. Still not working. Some things that have helped–outside after dinner (even if it’s cold, outside just helps), a chart of pictures showing exactly what the schedule is (and going through that with her each night as you do things), a very dark room with noise going (I’ve found Am wakes up and stays up if her room is light or she can hear something in the house), a book about the whole daily routine (naps included) to read during the day (just make one out of construction paper and magazine photos), read the same book(s) every night in her bed (on your lap), then move to a chair…slowly work toward moving that chair out of her room (Am now yells, DADDY/MOMMY CHAIR! when she wakes up..I guess it’s working, we used to only get away with her climbing into bed with us). I’ve also been known to just drive around or watch a vid over and over or throw her in bed with us when nothing is working and we’re all too exhausted to deal. And she does nap WAY better when she’s had a good night’s sleep.
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Hi there, not sure if this helps or not, but when my son came home from Ethiopia at 5.5 months old his sleeping sucked. Alot. We found out he had rickets, put him on Vitamin D and within a week or two his sleeping did improve. It wasn’t awesome, and he doesn’t sleep through the night but he did make his way to a 3 hour nap during the day and I’m usually only up once or twice during the night. My son is now 19 months. It’ll get there. I also have a daughter that is almost 3 so I totally sympathize with you on the exhaustion of dealing with a sleepless baby and a busy toddler. Good luck!
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Lydia’s not doing so great either. NOT sleeping through the night anymore. And…she is NOT a napper either. She does 2 20 minute naps. I think it’s the teeth. Our Dr. said give her Motrin at bedtime and it does help. I give it to her during the day too with those naturopathic teething tablets. I’m with you…I could use a nap…and a break.
Becky
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Thought of one last piece of advice: have a stash of chocolates just for you (-:
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Oh, this is so hard! My daughter was the same way – and she’s still not a good sleeper.
I fought her for twenty months, then gave in and did whatever made it easier. Now, she naps in my bed. We lay down together and she falls asleep. Sometimes I sneak out, and sometimes I take a nap, too. An hour nap is about all I can get. If it’s less, I put her to bed earlier.
It’s become easier as she’s getting older. Walks during the day tire her out and she sleeps better. Putting her to bed early, before she’s overtired helps.
But the biggest thing that’s helped me is just kind of letting go.
SarahHub @ Oakbriar Farms last blog post..Things That Go Buzz in the Night
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Oh, I feel your pain. My 17-month-old was sleeping through the night, and then we moved into another house. He stopped sleeping through the night and I have the worst time getting him to nap. However, I have found that when he wakes up at night, if I lie on the floor with a pillow and blanket, he will lie back down in his crib. He usually falls asleep in a matter of minutes and then, if I’m not asleep, I sneak back to my room. (I keep the pillow and blanket stashed under his crib so that it is handy for me to grab.)
As for naps, I sort of “cheat.” I put him in the car and drive around the block for about 5 minutes, then put him in his bed.
I didn’t have those problems with my daughter, so I had to do what I could to get him to sleep so that I could keep what little sanity I had.
I hope it gets better for you!
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