Dearest Zoë,

Yesterday you turned one.  I know you are now a whole number instead of parts of a month.  Of course for the coming year, your age will be marked in months.  Who am i kidding.  Your age will be marked in months until I decide to stop writing these letters to you.  I could sadly decide to stop them as quickly as I decided they need to be written.  If you like these letters you owe a huge debt of gratitude to Heather.  I stole the idea from her and when I did, I have to say I didn’t really think how quickly a month passes and because you and your brother have birthdays that are close in number, I feel like I am just cycling through writing letters.  But they are awesome ways to remember what is going on in your life. 

You are one and I just can’t believe it.  The time has gone so fast.  Yesterday caught me thinking a great deal about your Ethiopian mother and how bittersweet the day must have been for her.  To finally get to hold you in her arms after nurturing you in her womb for 40 weeks (give or take).  To see your face and to know that she could not keep you–this will be something we talk about often as we remember the brave and courageous choice she made.  I know in my heart that she loved you greatly.  She has given us the greatest gift of all–the gift of life. Without her you would not be part of our family.  I can see her in you and know that she must have been a beautiful person.  I too thought and think of your Ethiopian father.  As the case with adoption and often international adoption the biological father is overlooked.  So many questions left unanswered.  We will work through it all together.

You had your first birthday party and I have to say you enjoyed it.  You loved having people play with you–you didn’t pay much attention to the presents–most of which were clothes, aside from the cermaic Jonathon Adler Squirrel ring box that your uncle’s Jay and Curt gave you.  Because every girl needs one.  You ate cake and smashed it all over your face.  It was fun, but made mom realize birthday parties are too much work and even though it is nice to have the extended family over for the party and who doesn’t like presents, its too much work and so from here on out we may just do small immediate family parties. 

You still aren’t walking, but you are so close.  You’ll stand on your own and rock back and forth, you just haven’t developed the bravery or confidence to try and move those feet.  You’ll walk with me holding on to only one finger, but the minute we lose touch you drop to your butt and crawl.  This strikes me as odd only because you are a bit of a daredevil.  You are a climber–you climb on everything.  You’ll be walking soon, even though I was pretty positive that you would be walking already.  I am not rushing you–take your time baby.

You are developing so well.  You are very different from your brother though.  I know I shouldn’t compare but it’s hard not to.  I do it not for competition reasons–I promise.  This past month was a busy month for you–you went to your first pumpkin patch, had your first sleepover at Grandpa Mike and Grandma Lori’s house, you celebrated your first halloween and you traveled home from a foreign country.  Hard to believe that is was only a month ago that we returned from St. Maarten.  It seems like a life time.  Part of that is because you are a non-stop ball of energy.  There is no stopping  you. You go and go and go until I think you have hit  your limit and then you keep going. 

Your smile is bright and you smile big with both your mouth and eyes.  You still are goofy in love with your daddy and are starting to exert yourself with your brother.  You scream at him when he pisses you off by pushing you out of the way.  It’s pretty cute.  You are laid back and a little mellow but mostly you just go.  You are an awesome little girl and have a beautiful personality.  I am excited about seeing it develop. 

Love you,

Mommy