and I do mean too late. Okay, maybe it isn’t too late, it just feels like too late. For what you ask? Not spoiling Noah. I must admit it freely and openly here–Noah is a spoiled little brat. I missed the easy window of cutting back on the things he gets. Now it’s a frickin’ nightmare. He has pretty much always gotten everything he wanted because it was just he and I and he never really asked for too much. Little did I know that it doesn’t matter how much or little they ask for things it matter how much or in this case little I say “NO.” Which in our case hasn’t been too often.
I am paying the price for doing it the easy way. I didn’t know there would be these drastic consequences. Maybe hubby tried to tell me there would be but I didn’t want to believe that I could really spoil my child. But I have and I have done it very successfully. Now, the hard work starts. The de-spoiling. I don’t know exactly how to go about it, but I am trying and it is hard because my little boy is so cute and I wanted him for so long and I do want him to have everything he wants. But now I have to teach him to work for it and he is thinking that that idea totally sucks. Well, it does.
I know that Noah’s behaviors are a little more magnified right now because he just had a birthday and he got lots of presents and a party and he likes presents. Who doesn’t? But I have to admit I have babied him a little–but I can’t apologize for that. The love I feel for him (and for Zoë) is so strong and all encompassing that I have had a hard time being strong and saying no. I am getting better at it, but it is hard because we are in the process of taking his binky away so he isn’t sleeping great and that makes him and me a little more crabby.
So, all you experts out there who are a way better parent then me–not only did I spoil Noah, I let him watch TV almost whenever he wants–let me in on ways to break a spoiled child? I need help and advice and even an “it will get better.”
Embracing Imperfection 
I don’t have a lot of advice, more like sympathy. I’ve also let Alijah watch too much TV…and lately he’s decided he really likes to tell me “NO” with attitude!…and we’re seeing more deliberate disobedience which is not cute when coupled with that attitude. I’m really trying to buckle down on doing time-out correctly…and in getting daddy to follow through with it too…he tends to be easier on him…and I know getting on the same page is essential because they learn so fast how to divide and conquer the parents. I’ve also been trying to incorporate some natural consequences…like the other day when we were leaving for a walk and I asked him to bring me his juice cup so I could refill it, he gave me that smarty “NO!” complete with arms crossed, so we left w/out juice and of course he asked for it numerous times and I reminded him that he didn’t bring it to me and was not being nice, so we didn’t bring any, adding that next time he should listen and be more respectful.
I’m anxious to see what others say.
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I like to tell myself that it’ll get better, that they won’t be 2/3 forever and that eventually all this stubborness will do them some good in life (tenacity!).
We spoiled Amelie by letting her into our bed–she was never a good sleeper and we just broke down and let her in so we could get a little sleep. It was stupid. We’re still dealing with the consequences, but she is getting better. She doesn’t sleep with us anymore, but she is still super hard to get to sleep and she still wakes up. I try to take my mind somewhere else when I’m in there for an hour at 3am and she’s just screaming…I often mentally redecorate my house! Over and over and over…
I made a big pictorial schedule for us and put it on the fridge–everytime we do something, she gets to make a dot with a marker next to whatever it was (or a sticker if it was potty and she actually went). Not perfect, but it’s working. She often stands over there and is like “Mama! Time to exercise!”. So that’s cool. Other than that I have nothing.
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