Many of you only know me through my blog–some I have met in person and adore, but for the most part many of you don’t know me and my many idiosyncrasies.  Husband and I are perpetual thinkers and we often think out loud and make pseudo-decisions that we then re-think and make different pseudo-decisions and re-think those before we both really voice what we want and end up making a final decision. 

Just months after were were home with Zoë, I couldn’t imagine not having another baby.  I was certain–at that moment–that I wanted another baby.  We talked about adopting another baby and about IVF.  We “decided” to try IVF in the fall of 09 and then if that didn’t work we would adopt another baby from Ethiopia.  

We have continued to discuss our desire for more children and what that looks like for us.  I long to go back to work and I am busy with my PhD program.  Parenting infants is hard and private school is expensive.  But, I am not willing to say that my family is complete.  It is complete for now. 

I know that my flip-flopping is hard to keep up with sometimes.  I also know it is frustrating–I certainly get frustrated with my conflicting wants and desires.  I also know that just because we decided not to adopt any more babies–that baby who might have been ours will be adopted by the family that was meant to have him/her.  We are so blesssed with the two children we have right now.  They are amazing and fit seamlessly into our family. 

We are complete for now.