As a qualitative researcher, I understand that it is necessary to have my bias exposed on whatever topic I might be researching.  This holds true to this space and my editorializing on topics.  I want my readers–whether you agree or disagree to understand where it is that I am coming from so that we can all see each others’ sides and continue to agree to disagree. 

So, I want to start by saying that I am not a religious person.  I am spiritual and I believe in a higher power of some sort, but I don’t operate from the thinking that God has commanding me or is guiding me to do any of the things that I do.  I take full credit/blame for anything I do–I believe completely in freewill and responsibility for the consequences of that freewill.  I know there are people who believe greatly in God and his power and command of their life and actions.  This is great and I don’t think they are wrong.  That is just not how I interpret the world and others are certainly free to do as they wish.  I know, you are wondering where the hell this is going.  I am getting there. 

I have a friend–I use the word loosely as we use to work together and hang out quite a bit, but we don’t anymore and we see each other only on occasion as we attend the same grad school and we’re friends on facebook–but other than that we aren’t close–I’m not sure she has even met my kids.  She sent a message to all of her facebook friends for current addresses–I didn’t think anything of it as I need to get updated contact info from friends often as people move, etc.  I replied and two days later in the mail I get a newsletter/solicitation from her. 

Her and her husband–who is a minister of some sorts (that is what she says, but I don’t think he is a real minister but who knows–he could be–have relocated to the north part of our city (very poor and really high crime rates) and work with a church as urban missionaries.  I promise not to get started on the topic of missionaries.  I am not a fan of religious missionary work–if you are providing schools or clean water, etc., I can deal with that, but not the whole bringing Jesus to the heathen kind of missionary work.  So, my friend who is a certified art teacher and has spent the last couple of years teaching special education decided she was going to quit her job to go to school full-time and to help with outreach work at the church–art lessons, tutoring, etc. 

Nobel pursuit–except that her husband only works part-time and they now can’t afford to live without the help of friends and family.  Again, freewill at work.  What I have an issue with is being solicited for money/services from a person who has chosen not to work–did I mention she is pregnant and due with their first child in November.  She is giving back to her community–I get that, but at what cost.  Why should I fund her to live in her house when she is more than capable of working and giving back.  I would have much less of a problem “supporting” her if she were going on an aid trip to a developing nation and needed money to support herself over there while she was building a school or a library or a clean water system.  But, I live in the city where she does and while art lessons and tutoring are noble pursuits, the dedication to those programs does not warrant needing to be unemployed by choice and asking others to support you.  It really upsets me. 

I chose to quit my job when I had kids and was it a struggle financially–yes.  Would it have been nice to have others help out?  Sure, but I would never have considered asking anyone to support me so that I could do what I wanted without worry about how I was going to pay for what I needed daily.

Sorry, if I sound like a bitch, but it really ticked me off that–not that she is doing what she is doing, but that she is asking her friends and family to support her.  She isn’t a young kid trying to find her way.  So, what do you think?  Am I being a hard ass?