I am officially down 22. 2lbs in just over 4 months.  Working out with my trainer 2 days a week and working hard at eating healthy and watching my calorie intake has also helped.  I hate to post about it, as I have done in the past.  Because I continually have failed in the past at keeping weight off and on reaching my long term goal.  But I am happy and proud and feel like I really am on the right track and will be at my goal weight before my 39th birthday–August 31, 2010.  I have 89.2lbs to go.  I know it is a long road and I am up for the challenge.  It has taken me a while to find a plan/way of eating that works with my super busy schedule.  I work during the day and then I have class at night–this coming semester I will have class on M/T/W nights from 5:30-8:10 and I will have to figure out how to have dinner and have it be a healthy dinner w/out having to eat out on the way–Panera and Whole Food’s hot bar are my eating on the go places of choice.

I am committed to sticking with it.  I know it is what I need to do to not only fell happier w/ myself but also what I need to do to be a healthy example for my children.  As more and more kids in this country are overweight and obese, I want to make sure that I am leading by example for my children.  I am happy that my kids will go to a school where healthy food is the norm and parents are expected to pack healthy lunches for their kids–there isn’t a cafeteria.  Parents are expected to bring in healthy snacks when it is their week for snacks.

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Babies, babies, babies are everywhere.  My cousin just had a baby and she is a doll.  I got to see her and hold her when she was all of about 12 hours old.  It really got my baby desires going.  Oh…the miracle of birth amazes me and I have moments when I am so overwrought with sadness that I have not had the opportunity/ability to gestate and grow a baby in my womb.  The ache doesn’t last long–or maybe it just dulls and I am able to ignore it–but I have moments when I want nothing more than to pregnant and push a baby out of my girlie parts.  But then, my son wakes me up at 3 am just so I can take him back to bed and I wake up a few hours later so tired that it’s to hard to even make oatmeal and I think.  Why did I wait so long to have kids?

I don’t regret the time hubby and I spent enjoying life and our marriage, but now that I am old–in terms of fertility, I wish we had started earlier–much earlier.  Because then I could have more of these…

But now I am just too tired…