Not like back before computers and iPhones or iPads, just back to when I wasn’t being pulled in 8 different directions. Every. Single. Day.  While I keep telling myself it’s going to get better, I think about something else to freak me out–like next year I’m going to have to pay tuition for two kids at our chosen private school.  Do you know the kinds of vacations we could have if we weren’t making two mortgage payments a month (one mortgage one tuition)?  I know it’s worth it but I question it completely especially as the end of school nears and I’ll have to start paying my student loans which are about the same as what we owe on our house.  We maybe making a change next year, I don’t know.  I’d hate to because I fully believe that the school Noah is at is the right place–Maybe I’ll just have to get another job or stop going to Starbucks.

I’m a little panicked because my comprehensive exams start on Monday.  I have 3 questions to answer with two weeks for each question.  This is scary as it is the last step prior to me getting to start my dissertation.  I’m so ready to be done with school and ready to get out there and work hard for my family and myself, but this is daunting.  The next few months are going to be tough as I have to submit my dissertation proposal by December 1 if I am going to begin collecting data for my dissertation in January.  I know this bores all of you and I’m sorry for that–bur right now this is my reality.  I am up to my eyes in Social Cognitive Theory, Critical Discourse Analysis, and Self-efficacy formation.  Exciting isn’t it.

On a happier note–because it’s apparent I need one.  Our family vacation went well.  It started off rocky–on our first night in Miami Zoë burned her hand.  It was so not my fault. (just realizing this doesn’t sound like a happier note)

The hotel has halogen lights in the ground.  These lights happened to be purple–which is Zoë’s favorite color.  She was over by my brother (it wasn’t his fault either) and she was looking at the lights.  I didn’t think for a second to tell her not to touch the lights as we all assumed they were covered.  Then all of a sudden, Zoë is standing behind my chair and it is clear that something is terribly wrong.  She is crying but no sound is coming out and she is holding her hand.  I immediately thrust her hand in my water class.  I knew what happened before I even asked her.  It was horrible.  I have never heard a child scream so badly in pain for so long (about 3 hours).  It was awful.  One of the worst moments in my life.  But the next day–she woke up as if nothing had happened and her hand never bothered her again.  The hotel felt awful and offered medical help–but we knew there was nothing they could do for these ‘minor” burns.  To continue the torture of my baby girl, when we were in Nassau, I got her hair braided.  She cried for an hour as two women worked quickly on her hair.  It looks adorable.  She still says “But I didn’t want my hair braided.”

I will be posting here off and on as I navigate my comp exams and write my dissertation proposal.  Most likely when I am procrastinating (like I am right now).