Noah has had enough of me pointing out black kids.  My attempts to get him to see other kids like him hit a breaking point on Monday.  Monday was the start of summer camp and I would be lying if I didn’t say how happy I was to see another black child in the camp class.  Noah’s school isn’t hugely diverse (24% of kids are non-white) and he does have another black boy in his class during the regular school year.

When I picked him up from camp I asked him if he made any new friends.  He said he did and he had fun.  I asked who the black boy was and if he played with him.

Noah responded: “Why do you always want me to see and play with black kids.  I play with kids who like the same things as me.  I play with my friends.  I don’t need to play with someone just because they look like me.”

I was shocked a bit.  But he is right.  He knows he is black.  He knows I am white.  He knows that the majority of his world is white and he knows how to make friends.  He has friends and he likes his friends.

I told him that I understood and that I wasn’t trying to make him play with someone just because they looked like him, but I wanted him to see that he wasn’t the only boy who was black.

“I don’t care if there are other kids who are black mom.  That is just my skin.  I care that there are kids who want to play what I want to play and who are my friend and who like me and are nice.”

Well, he certainly told me didn’t he.  I think this is good.  He is developing a sense of self and what is important to him.  He recognizes that skin color is just that and that it doesn’t (and shouldn’t) define him.  So, I will stop pointing out the kids who look like him and let him be who he is.  I will certainly continue to seek out activities and places where he can be around others who look like him, but I’ll let him pick his own friends.

Oh this parenting thing is hard.