It is so easy to judge others for the parenting mistakes they made.  It is so easy to forget that in the blink of an eye–it could be us that tragedy strikes.  Recently there is the story of Karen Murphy, a veterinarian in the DC area.   She, sadly, left her 2-year-old in the car for 7 hours on a hot day.  There is no good ending to this story.  Her husband went to pick up their son at daycare and he wasn’t there.  He called her to ask where their son was–thus began their nightmare.  And nearly every parents nightmare.

Karen Murphy is being prosecuted with a charge of felony murder–it carries a sentence of 40 years.  She has two other children.  The prosecutor in the case wants to send a message, “We hope it’d be a wake up call for other people who might be inclined not to take care of their children.”

I don’t agree that felony murder is the appropriate charge.  My first reaction to this story was sorrow.  I cried for this family.  It is sad and tragic and has already happened to 20 families this year and 49 last year and 514 families since 1998.  The comments left by readers of the story are so judgmental and vitriolic.

When I became a parent 5 years ago, I couldn’t imagine ever leaving my child in a car.  I was obsessive about it.  I can say that I have never come close to doing it.  But that doesn’t mean I have a right to judge this woman.  I think it is horrific and I also know that there is no punishment that could ever be worse than losing a child and knowing it was your fault.  But murder?  It is a tragic accident.  When a child drowns accidentally, I don’t think we file murder chargers against the family.

I was almost a statistic.  My kids were in the bathtub.  My son was 2 and my daughter 1.  I walked to the door of our small bathroom to ask my husband a question.  I did not leave the bathroom but I did turn my back.  When I went back in, my heart stopped.  My daughter was under the water and couldn’t get herself back up.  I grabbed her and she was fine, but I hate to think what could have happened.  What would have happened if I hadn’t turned my head when I did.  In a split-second tragedy strikes.

Most parents (boy how I wish I could say all) spend their life looking out for and protecting their children.  Witnesses who saw Karen Murphy go out to her car and find her dead child said her screams could be hear fro blocks.  This was not a women who wanted to hurt her child.  This was a woman who loved her child.  This was a woman who was a mother and who was overwhelmed and over busy.  I am certainly not making excuses but it is time that we all banded together.

We have cars that can park themselves, why can’t we have cars that have sensors for car seats?  Why can’t car seats have a sensor tied into the car that dings when we turn off the car if there is weight in the car seat?  There must be a way for technology to help parents.  Why can’t day care centers have auto-dialer systems like schools do when kids aren’t there.  Maybe it could save a child’s life.  Because for whatever else we are, we are all human.  We all make mistakes and kids shouldn’t have to die because we make them.