But damn you are good.  I had my first and last Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season.  I am so sad.  So. Very. Sad.  But you have 330 calories and 64 grams of sugar.  Are you freaking kidding me?  Really?  Shit.  I feel sick now that I know.  I kinda want to lick the inside of the cup–knowing that this is the last time I will drink this.  Normally, when I mess up a new way of eating (aka diet), I’d just throw the day away and eat whatever I want.  But, that isn’t the case.  I am realizing that I am not going to be perfect.  I don’t expect to be perfect.  And giving myself that permission is liberating.

When I went shopping  yesterday at the market, I went with new eyes and a new attitude.  I have never paid much attention to the ingredients for the most part–I always look for corn syrup or high fructose corn syrup or modified corn starch and stay away from anything that has those things in it.  Not just for me but especially for my kids.  But now, I am looking for things that don’t have any sugar–okay really don’t have any added sugar.  Do you know it is almost next to impossible to find tomato sauce at the grocery store that doesn’t have added sugar–I read all of the labels and found one from a local restaurant that didn’t have any added sugar.

Also, salad dressing–they all frickin have sugar in them.  All of them.  I know, I know, I’ll just have to make my own–but crap, I don’t have a lot of extra time for that.  Sugar is in everything–no more Chinese sauces for me either–that I don’t make myself.  I am committed to cutting refined sugar out of my diet and all unnatural forms of sugar as well.  I haven’t made a stand on stevia yet, but will do some more research on it and how it might make my body react–in terms of insulin production and processing.

I haven’t decided where I stand on grains–like quiona, Oats, etc.  I am going to avoid eating them in too much quantity but also know that they are good for me in moderation.  This is all a learning process for me and I am truly committed.  I have given myself 10 free-days over the course of the year (you know, thanksgiving, christmas, birthdays) but who knows to what extent I will take them.

I feel really at peace with my decision and it is interesting that after making the decision, I haven’t really been tempted by anything or looked at anything and thought–OMG, I want that.  Well, not unless you count the Pumpkin Spice Latte.