It’s been 7 weeks since my husband died suddenly and unexpectedly on what had been both my birthday and a perfect day together. Needless to say, my world and life has been turned upside down.  We have two amazing children (13 and 11) who need me now more than ever.

I also have 103 teenagers who depend on me.

This post on Twitter really got me:

This is where I see broken pieces of our public education system.  I was given 4 days bereavement from my principal.  Two of those days were “free” days as negotiated by our union.  In the public education system, I am a number. I am a cog in the wheel. I am not a person.  I am not seen as an individual human.  My principal doesn’t have the right to allow me as much time as I need to heal.  I cannot afford to take time off w/out pay or benefits.  I am now the financial security for my family.

There are no concessions granted.  Lesson plans late–I am notified.  Observations–continue on even though I might not be at my best.  No exceptions.  We are all the same.  We are not humans; we are teachers  And somehow, our personal lives don’t matter and are expected to be pushed aside.  Yes, my students deserve my best everyday–but sometimes my best is not possible. But I can’t take a day–because I only get 1 per month. More than that and I get docked a full days pay.  I can’t afford that.  So what other choice do I have?

This might not be so obvious to me if I didn’t have something else to compare it to, but I do–I taught in a private school for almost 6 years.  I know that my private school would have given me as much time off (with pay) as I needed to be whole again. To mourn. To take care of my kids. To take care of this new life.  I could take any random day I might need w/out worry of being able to feed my kids or to have it taken into account at contract time.

But our public education system doesn’t take time to treat teachers or students as human. We are inputs and outputs.  We are bodies in rooms. We are cogs in wheels.  We are expected to check off boxes and get results. We are expected attend meetings that could be emails–because we need to meet or we don’t trust you’ll read out emails.

We are expected to do hours of online training, craft lesson plans, call and email home, and teach and get all of this done in our contracted hours.  I am trying hard to not work during my non-contracted time–because I need to heal and I need to take care of my own children.

We are expected to attend PD that doesn’t apply to us and to sign in and be present. We are expected to tow the line and do what the district wants instead of what is good for kids.

I know there are plenty of functioning public school districts, but even those don’t always value teachers as human.

I just want to be valued as a professional (I’m pretty sure that is why your hire someone with almost 20 years of k-12 and college teaching experience, two content area degrees, and a Ph.D.). I also want to be seen as a human who has a life outside of school.

Teachers just want to be seen. I want to be seen.